It is always the same thing. Funnily, I should say, it is always the same thing. They pretend to care. They pretend to share my sorrow. They pretend to wish me the best.
But they just don’t care. They have their little own things to worry about and I’m not a part of these little things. I’m just contingent. And why (WHY?) would they care for someone who isn’t necessary? I’ve heard it a couple of times. I’m just the depressed and anxious girl they know and I need to stop worrying and to have bright ideas. Yeah please do tell a diabetic person to stop having low insulin levels, or a cardiac person to have a normal heart rate.
But I’m just stigmatised. I have a non etiquetted illness that does not seem to them like an illness. They think I’m faking everything to get their attention. Or, most appropriately, to beg for their attention.
And most disturbing was the pitiful look on their faces. “Look at her, she ruined her life. I must not be like her. She has scars. She thinks of death everyday. She’s always crying.”
I don’t need pity. I just need… someone who cares
6 comments
I think some times people really do care, but the problems we face are so foreign to them, they’re uncomfortable. They just don’t know what to say. I, too, struggle with depression and anxiety, and I’m still frequently at a loss when it comes to offering comfort to others. I still try, though.
Hope you find some comfort here.
There are people who care but it;s like 1 in 1000 ppl. Sad, I gave up from people.
Maybe you’re delusional… maybe there are people who care. it could be people just you. hoping someone cares. you cant burry yourself with such negative thoughts. I’m struggling with my own battles. I care. no matter what you think wrong about yourself, is wrong. you are perfectly imperfect and if not a lot of people at school like you, its there problem.
Have hope okay? its the only that will get you out of the trap, trust me.
Are you reading my thoughts? Seriously.
Almost every person I came close to always told me how they would miss me if I killed myself, and how much I am capable of doing blah blah blah. Only to then get on with their lives and abandon me, thinking they’ve done their part already. They didn’t say these things for me, they said them to make themselves feel better, not guilty.. Sad truth about most of our fellow humans..
This may sound naive, but the right people will come along.. Just respect yourself, remember what you deserve, and don’t settle for anything less cos life’s too short. Only keep those people in your life that show you REAL affection and never make you cry. Stay strong.
I think caring is something that all people do in small portions depending on the size of the plate that they carry around in life. Some people have so many things on their massive plate from their daily self-obsessed body-worshiping frenzy, that there is just that little space on the edge to put that little scoop of caring for other people, and it is also just too heavy to carry most days. During the course of the day they smear it all around with their mental spoon and consume what they think looks good at that moment – and sometimes miss that little dark blob in the corner. They come back and poke at it now and then, but it is not really as appetizing as obsessing about themselves. That is you and me out there in that blob… those unappetizing bits.
Many people try to mix that dark little blob with the other things on their plate to make it seem like a more appetizing. This means that they are able care as long as you participate in their life. If you are not able to do that, then they will push you to the corner of their plate or maybe find a way to scrape you off completely. It is not that they don’t care, really. It is that they can’t manage to care without involving themselves in the task of caring. I have found that very very few people can manage to focus on other people and truly give of themselves without being a part of that focus of energy.
It is a rare find indeed when you come across a person that is able and willing to do that for you. Caring completely for someone is a very rare and totally unselfish gift from that person to you, and I have yet to find anyone truly able to not involve themselves in any real form of caring without some sort of mental, physical or verbal payment. People are selfish to the core and they really only care about the parts of themselves that live on their own little plate.
The real question is how much of the other stuff on that person’s plate are you willing to have smeared on you in order to feel like they care enough? How much is enough? I can only tell you that I too am pretty darned greedy with regard to this little delicacy. I always want someone to care more than they really do. Just like everyone else, I am greedy.
From my perspective, which is of course the only one I can speak to, it is usually best to just kill off any expectation that any person will have the time or interest in caring in the slightest. It just seems to hurt less when it turns out that they don’t really want to take the time to be a part of my life since I am not a terribly appetizing bit of humanity that anyone would care to have on their plate.
Honestly its pretty sad that you have to reach out to the internet to get help. Don’t hang around with people that won’t care about you. If you are around people that care about you. You wouldn’t be on this site right now. So think next time. You say no one cares. They care a whole bunch. Its just you don’t see it.