It wasn’t violent, the attempted rape. It was mostly tearful, with me pleading for the man to stop. And sick and disgusting. It smelled gross and dirty. I could smell his sweat, I can still smell his sweat. I will never forget it. I will still remember the scent after he got done, after he realised I want going to let him. I fought in my drunkenness.
He had told me that he wanted to talk to me.
William Triplett was his name. He was an ex of mine, and I had just turned 16, and he was 25. I was desperate to find someone […]
Tag:
Nephews
I have major depressive disorder and social anxiety/borderline avoidant personality disorder.
I was going to go to group therapy. I never did.
I was seeing a counselor. I stopped going.
I take an anti-depressant. It helps a lot but not enough I guess. Less anxiety and less pain but that isnt enough.
I live a solitary life. I am like a hermit. I barely speak to people. I avoid women. Don’t make eye contact, speak as little as possible. If they seem to like me, become vaguely hostile…put up those old barriers. Whatever it takes. Because it hurts and they can hurt me more. But all I really want […]
At The end of the world, Or the last thing I see, You are, Never coming home, Never coming home….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
Damn. That song brings back so many memories. Happy-ish Memories from happier times.
Basically, I’m thinking of doing ‘it’. I don’t want to be around anymore… I’m sick of life and all it has to throw at me. It’s not going to get better like everyone keeps telling me. I want it to stop. I think… My mental health is also getting worse… I don’t want to be the crazy one. I did want to stick around for my nephews, watch them grow up… be happy with them. Looks like that isn’t going to happen. They will be ok without me. I know it. And sure, […]
MY STORY
By Kelli Pedrick-Karlton
Written in 2009, a little over a year after my Dads suicide…
Late one January morning in 2008, I fell asleep on the sofa, something I rarely did and haven’t done since. The kids were all over me and the house as I slept, but I managed to get a good nap in. I was awaken to my house phone ringing, then my cell phone ringing, again the house, again the cell. I thought it was my younger sister wanting me to cut my nephews hair. I […]
I imagine myself as the boy stumbling out of the bar at 3AM alone and walking home. I don’t know what “home” is anymore, but I’m going to walk there, drunk and abandoned. And at some point, I’ll start singing a few songs that remind me of him.
I wish I could say I’m so sorry. I wish I could say I love him to him. I wish he felt the slightest bit of remorse for every time he said I meant less than nothing to him. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and find his car parked outside my house, knocking on the door, […]