Sometimes life gets so sickingly boring I find ways to leave it. I begin to obsess over things to get my mind of life. I obsess over anything from a band to a tv show. I even obsess over ideas. For example one day i was so bored i looked online for a specific jacket that a guy from a band i love wore in a music video. I spent the entire day finding this jacket. Then once i found it i realized it was already 4am. I hadn’t eaten the whole day. I hadn’t even left my room for anything but bathroom breaks. I […]
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Next Morning
im having a hard time keeping together one part of me wants to jump off a bridge another part of me wants to slit my wrist or starve and dehydrate myself. To bad you cant do all three. Im in a lot of pain and i dont know why just know something inside of me hurts real bad. My life is good but this feeling is not good. I just got out of the er i actually went twice one the first day then the next. They threatened to kick me out of the er the second time if i kept acting up so i […]
This whole thing is just so confusing and depressing. Last month I spent 3 weeks in a psych ward. I was brought in handcuffs in an ambulance having swallowed 59 pills and downed a bottle of vodka. The doctors call it an episode. I cut my long hair to above my ears too before the police came. I guess I should fill you in: I had this episode around 2am one night near the end of Feburary. On top of the booze and pills, I cut my hair and was kicking things and throwing things at walls, screaming and making rediculous amounts of noise. I’m in […]
It started out small. I would feel sad and tired and utterly hopeless for a few hours, maybe one night at the most. I would self harm or cry myself to sleep or rant in my diary until 2 AM. The next morning I would tell myself that yesterday was “just a bad day” and that everyone had them once in a while, so it was totally normal.
I went from having a “bad day” once in a while, to having a “bad day” once a month, to having several “bad days” a month…and before I knew it, I’d become the person I am now. I […]
It’s 3 am, I can’t sleep, but I am tired.
I wrote a few weeks back, this is a follow up, things have not gotten any better.
I managed to tell a girl i was inlove with that it was so, she reacted as i had thought, told me there were no feelings and ignored it ever happened, it bothers me. Not just that i feel somewhat heart broken, It’s is not too bad. It is more the feeling that this is the one person i can talk to about my real thoughts, but it is slipping now. I feel myself growing more distant, not daring to […]
This is my first posting on here.. Oh wow, I don’t even know where or how to start. Just gonna wing it..
I am 26 years old and living a miserable life inside my miserable home in miserable Phoenix, AZ. Actually I have been very fortunate.. I have a great family and they may be, in part, why I am still here. My parents have given me all the tools I could ever want to succeed in life, but I do nothing except throw them out the window it seems. Anyway, amidst some legal trouble, relationship trouble, unemployment trouble, and really just troubles in life, […]
im crushed. im hurt. ive hit rock bottom.im screaming for help but no one cares no one is listening.
written by thegirlwhocryedwolf
I very much hope that at least one person
in the entire world reads this,because
it would make me feel as though someone
somewhere gives one single flying fuck about me.
I did a stupid thing I put my heart out there
and ended up getting crushed
So here’s the story is:
Jasmine, her boyfriend James,and his brother Nick where having a
sleep over at jasmines house.They only invited Nick because
Jasmine thought I would come over to keep him company.
He had recently been dumped and he was a bit sad.
But I was at my dads house for the weekend.
So since Nick felt like a third wheel James asked if I would […]
I ran away from my home, in Austin, at 15 to my 16 year-old boyfriend’s house in Dallas. I left behind my family, my friends, and everything I had known in my life on a whim for someone I’d known for a month. He convinced me that my life at home was dangerous because of my dad’s abusive past and I’d be better off with him. To me, he was everything, he was my world. I knew for a fact I couldn’t live without him now that I had him. I was addicted, consumed. I didn’t make it to Dallas, however. A police officer found […]
I was 13 years old and about to finish up my 7th grade year. It was March 10, 2004 when my life changed forever. It was in the evening after dinner when my ma got the call. My sister was on the other line, sobbing and very hard to understand. She told her what had happened, as I sat back and wondered. I was way to young to understand what was going on. I had never experienced anything like that before in my life. My ma hung up the phone and said “I will be back.”
About 2 hours later, my ma shows up with my […]
My thoughts of suicide started when I was 13 years old.
 I made a friend through a connection with another friend, and she was awesome (at first). I found out a month into our friendship that she did drugs. I encouraged her to stop, but since she was 5 years older than me she was too self- absorbed to listen. So, one night she slept over my house, and curiosity got the best of me, and I tried the drugs. It was… wonderful, to say the least. So more ‘sleepovers’ were planned afterwards. If I can recall correctly, it was about the third time she slept […]
So, i guess i’m here.. just to share with you my experience..
I guess the stress of sports, losing friends, family, and getting my heartbroken over and over.. got to me.. I started cutting, which was a big mistake.. I know that, and i’m done doing that now.. One night, i couldn’t handle anything anymore.. I ran to the bathroom crying my eyes out.. I locked the doorbehind me, and grabbed a blade, and slashed my arm.. I kept cutting up my arm, slashing it, over and over.. Telling myself what a fuck up i am.. And how it was all my fault.. Each cut, deeper […]
I don’t even know where to start explaining this…for that matter I’m not even sure that I’m trying to explain something to begin with. Maybe I’m just trying to understand it. Maybe some part of my brain is hoping that if I string enough words together someone, somewhere, will be able to explain it all to me.
I don’t even know if I’m suicidal. I used to think that “suicidal” was something definitive. Something that you’d know if you were or you weren’t. It didn’t seem like the sort of thing you’d miss, you know? I suppose if someone asked me outright I’d say no, I’m […]
I’ve always thought it’d be better if I was dead. When I found out I was born dead, as in not breathing and doctors and nurses rushing round because I wasn’t going to make it… it makes me laugh my f**king head off. I’m still here, today. What an achievement.
I don’t remember my first suicidal thought. I remember my last. It was a few seconds ago, as always. I think about it every day, but every day I don’t do a damn thing about it and wake up the next morning just to start over again. I’m pathetic like that. Tomorrow’s never going to get […]
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