Yet again another sleepless night… Afraid to close my eyes but terrified to keep them open… Sigh… Will it ever end?….
Tag:
night
I have no idea how long its been since i was last on here but i know its been awhile. I miss coming on the site everyday reading everyone’s stories, trying to help.
This week has been really rough for me. I have had 2 friends who tried killing themselves. Honestly i cant take this anymore. It hurts. I stayed up 2 nights in a row trying to talk one of them out. But it didn’t work…he tried and failed, thank god. I dont know what i would do without him in my life, he has talked me out of suicide a lot. theres something about […]
Hello. This is no a cry for help or pity or advise. It is just me … me on my own isolated wanting to end it all. My son lives abroad … I was due to spend xmas with him and his other family. Today the news came I am not welcome. Devestated. I have no one else around me. My mum died 2 montths ago. I think of dying every morning every night and even when I sleep. I hate pain so need a painless exit. The pain I feel in my life is real and strong. I am crippled by my emotions and […]
My computer and network got hacked the other night due to a misstep of protocol before clicking-entering a porn-site. I was connected to the internet on my laptop through my iPhone’s network through “hot-spot,” and apparently my iPhone has been bugged, too, because it’s also lagging like s***. So now, surfing the web on my laptop has ceased totally because of super-lag and all I have now is SP on my bugged iPhone. I don’t know, maaaaaan. Who wants to hang-out….. I have a bunch of good bud. (Not a hard porn watcher, btw).
I’m 36, I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts for years. I’ve attempted it a couple of times. I’ve been sinking back into depression again and I want to die. I have a son, who is the only reason I haven’t ended my life yet. I worry about him. He’s a cutter. My boyfriend and I are having problems. I think he’s cheating on me and last night we had a physical altercation. I’m badly bruised and sore today. In 2 years, he’s never done that. I don’t know why he is now. I have no one to talk to. I’ve thought about taking pills and driving […]
Yet again, I can’t trust anyone. My “friend” left me last night cause I told her what I trully was. She said she can’t be friends with someone who’s depressed and stopped talking to me all together. I just feel like shutting myself from the world and go mute. I’ll just talk in sigh language when I have to.just completely shut myself from the world and hopefully die before I’m 20 🙁
Hi, my name is Susanna. I’m 21 and been struggling with my entire life. And coming to the end of my road, feel that it’s meant to happen.
II’ve been through so many things in past that i wonder myself why i’m still here. Childhood went me trying to crow myself. My mother has been too depressed to take care of us, i’ve been in foster home where I’ve been beaten and sexually abused by my own brother, and by his friend. I have an eating disorder, anorexia nervosa with bulimia, had as long as can remember, been crowned to it. My ed isn’t the only […]
I had a few people asking me what i had or if i was okay i always pull the “oh nothing just tired” or “i’m okay” but it’s all lie, lies and more lies i’m not okay, i’m not tired or anything like that i’m not fine at all, i’m sad, i want to die, and i feel worthless, i’m not tired i just cried for 2 hour straight, i’m trying to fight my demons but i’m failing hard really hard, “aren’t you hot under this sweater” i always respond “no i’m fine” haha more lies, no i’m not fine, i’m burning under this […]
I had a dream the other night that only frightens me because of the underlying message I found in it.
I dreamt that I was outside in the yard, I can’t recall what I was doing but it was a nice, warm, clear, day. I had heard a loud bang and fizzle type of sound. Myself and a few others that were also outside looked up to the sky and saw an enormous missile with three cylinders crash right into the hillside, not more than fifteen miles away. As others began to panic and clamour around, I just stood still, staring in awe. […]
I joined SuicideProject.org last night and thought I’d introduce myself:
I have battled severe depression (and later suicidal feelings) since I was a teenager. I kept everything to myself until a few years ago when I revealed to everybody in my life what I had been going through. I won‘t say things have been perfect since then, but they have improved – I guess you could say I have been in “suicidal remission.”
Anyway, that’s the summarized version of my story. I plan to pop in here whenever I feel I have something constructive to add. I used to be quite good at helping people with their […]
opposite eternum of a leisuze, a true hell stand a million in a face of a child, dies the most painful life of death, meteor strike me to death now
by Bisban
written by Bisban
Send me straight to hell
Severely rendered, wtf am I doing
Wtf are you doing, my pain and suffering
Angel, kill me a million time, bewildered child
A fish out of water died in the cold muck in the night
My emblem of, meteor strike me to death now
The three-thousand eye, Cage is in chain
And the story, nobody saved me
Continuum, child of the metal Horse
In the psycho-binary, there is a fated in such a way
Meteor save me now
I just pray every night that I won’t wake up and God will give my spot to some terminally ill child that still wants to live
by sebi
written by sebi
I just feel like there isn’t anything worth living for. Everyone could go on just fine without me. I’m 50 and in a career transition and being talked into continuing an MBA program. It seemed like a good idea at first and I was told I could quit if I didn’ like it…but now I’m being shamed into sticking with it.
What I really wanted to do was start my own home baking business. But that got poo-pooed.
I should have listened to the knot in my stomach, which usually steers me away from things that most likely are bad…but I didn’t this time.
I know, […]
I am all empty inside. I have no friends. I don’t go to school anymore… the things I enjoyed in the past now look dead to me. I tried to end my life while I was on medical treatment for severe deppresion, and I was on a therapist treatment. For a funny coincidence, I ate bad pizza before I took 4 or 5 complete boxes of random medicine I found at home. My stomach was exploding, my heart went all crazy, and at 3:00 am when I thought I was going to die from a heart attack or something, I threw up because of the pizza. Fainted, […]
Performance anxiety… I have a presentation for school coming up, it’s on PTSD and I am comfortable with that topic but I am terrified about speaking in front of my classmates. College sucks, for real. It is not like speaking for work when I do that in public, though that terrifies me as well. I need tips. I have suicide as my out constantly but what the hell! Why should I let a stupid presentation kill me. Shouldn’t something romantic kill me? Anyways, I am really impulsive and I keep envisioning my car racing headlong into a tree the night of this presentation… I am […]
If one lives for the incredibly small things in life, does that make them pathetic? That has been a big question on my mind lately. I feel like my life is futile and meaningless. The only thing I look forward to daily is my night ritual. I scoop myself about a pint of chocolate ice cream, preferably Breyer’s or Edy’s, squirt a generous amount of Hershey’s chocolate syrup on top, and then park myself in front of the TV for the rest of the night to watch Arrow, Doctor Who, and other such shows. I know eventually, that’s going to catch up with me physically, […]
Sometimes, I think we just need a moment to vent our head caves to an audience that doesn’t know us. I really do not feel like dumping my problems on anyone I know, and thanks to the nifty confines of this site, you can choose to ignore it.
My story begins when college ended. The woman I had been with for almost two years decided to leave me, subsequently getting involved with a friend of mine. She has found happiness and success in her new life, so I hold little ill will toward her. In fact, I knew that the relationship was not healthy with my […]
I lost him. And just to think that things were just starting to get good. I lost the only thing that meant anything to me. The only person who could make me feel something. The only person that made me feel like life was worth giving a damn about. What the fuck is “love” anyways? What makes it grab a hold of you and shake you apart so damn hard? Why? Why do I have to feel anything? Honestly I’d rather feel absolutely nothing than this shit. I’m over this feeling. It’s like the pit at the bottom of your stomach that lets you know […]
An 18 year old, senior in high school. She found a way to survive for 6 years and finally set herself free. The pain and anxiety got to her. The depression ate her alive from the outside in. The tears lay on her pillow case where she suffocated herself the night before. Her father, still the drunk he was before, still doesn’t realize that his screams actually got to her. He doesn’t understand that after every hit, it pushed her off the edge more. Her mother, still the druggie she always has been, doesn’t understand that it’s not easy having a parent that would rather […]
So in my last post, I wrote about Alex… I need to get the Hell over him but… I don’t want to. I imagine us together all the time… It’s driving me insane! I only knew him for six days, and we’ve been out of touch for a month! I miss him, though… It’s my fault we can’t talk… What if he hates me now? What if he forgot about me an met someone else? We met in a hospital, and now he’s gone to a 45 day program… What if the girl he meets actually takes risks for him? I tried to, I really […]
Hi there,
I recently got divorced from my wonderful wife, we met wen we were 14 and had been together ever since. Up until 6 months ago when she left me and my life had spiralled out of control.
She left me with over 20k debt which has trashed my credit file and take me 11 years to pay off. She moved in with another man and it broke my heart.
However I couldn’t believe my luck I met a wonderful girl within a few weeks of my divorce but things went from bad to worse, she ended up pregnant and aborted our child without telling me which […]