To let go of all the bad shit in my life, or anything for that matter? Because I can never seem to let go of anything in life and I have no clue why. I had crappy friends that I stopped being friends with and yet they are still in my life I still give them opportunities, like wtf? But last night I realized this isn’t the life I want for myself. I want to be happy have good friends I want to be in love and be with someone who loves me. But I ruin that for myself I met this cool guy and […]
no clue
I’m a basic white girl who cuts herself. Or rather, I did. Ever since I got put on zoloft in January after my parents found out I sh’d, my life has steadily improved and I have strengthened my relationships with friends and even my family. I no longer wallow in my own sadness or make suicide plans.
I miss it. I miss being depressed so much. I don’t know why; I never got any special attention while I was down in the dumps and I barely had any friends. I consider myself happiest when I’m unhappy. It’s stupid and ridiculous and feels selfish. But I just […]
It’s been a long sad break from this place. And man, I have no clue where I’ve wandered to. All I know is I’ve been more broken then ever these past two weeks. I want to be free. I hate feeling so chained up. Within my own mind claustrophobia is eating me away. My whole life there is one, only one thing I’ve asked for. And that is a place of belonging. Where I’m not thrown away like some non living object. I’m sick of living in the dump. You know what the dump is filled with? Worthless things that no longer have meaning or […]
I’ve been doing so well lately. so well. and i have literally no clue why but now i can’t stop crying and i realize how truly alone i am. i cant talk to my parents and my friends arent really friends at all considering they never invite me with them and dont care about me in the slightest. IM COMPLETELY ALONE AND UNWANTED AND UNLOVED AND I DONT HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO AND NOBODY CARES.
nobody. cares. at all.
Need more friends with wings.
All the angels I know
put concrete in my veins.
I’d always walk home alone.
So I became lifeless
just like my telephone.
There’s nothing to lose.
When no one knows your name.
There’s nothing to gain.
But the days don’t seem to change.
ever played truth or dare
I’d have to check my mirror
To see if I’m still here
My parents had no clue
That I ate all my lunches
Alone in the bathroom
There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There’s nothing to gain
But the days don’t seem to change
There’s nothing to lose
My notebook will […]
I just need a break. I so long for relief. The diagnoses just continue to pile up. Anorexia, Bulimia, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Â Getting up the simple will to live is an exhausting task. The mood swings, the voices, the weight gain they’re forcing me to have, the constant abandonment of friends and family. They think they have it hard dealing with me. They have no clue. They don’t see my pain, only theirs. I feel given up on. I’ve given up on myself. I don’t want to die, but I just know that I can’t be saved.
Hi Guys,
It’s day 19… Woo… Ummm sooo… Guess I’m continuing these things?
My day… I had a few panic attacks… Well to be exact two… *sigh* Maybe they’ll get better… Umm… So yeah….
How am I? Physically: Terrible absolutely terrible Mentally: Awful
My physical state… *sigh* I’m sickish… I have a headache, my nose hurts, I may or may not have a fever and I’m really stressed out… So I’m not doing so well in my physical state all I want to do is curl up and cuddle with someone, but alas no one is here to cuddle with […]
I guess I didn’t notice I loved you until you held my hand. I didn’t know you loved me until my friend told me what you said. But you don’t know me. You know me….but you really don’t. You think I’m perfect because that’s how I display myself. I make sure I smile and laugh. I make sure not to show any emotion I would regret latter. You just think you love me. You don’t, truth me. Once you find out, you’ll change your mind…they all do.
But if you want to know the truth, fine:
Yes, I do have scars I hide.
No, I’m not the girl […]