I cut myself for the first time in a year…I hate on what I did but I had to get the pain out one eay or other…im trying to hide it from my family because my grandparents said if I do it again they are going to make me go to a hospital so I can get help…but here the thing no one can help me only I can help myself because its my doing
The love of my life has left me for another man. I have spent my life living for her, with her and beside her. How the hell do i just continue living without her? I am alone and i am depressed. Friends, Family, they cant understand. Everyone say the same message, everything will be better in time. I say everything could be better in time. But the now is what is too painful. Theres no one i can tell my thoughts to, theres no one left to trust. When shes the only person I could ever been completely open to and trust. I want to […]
I’ve been having a lot of problems at home and nothing seems to be going right for me. Today, my nan.. the person i love most in this world, the one who’s ever stopped me from doing anything (killing myself) told me to go kill myself. It honestly broke my heart so much and i’ve selfharmed, ive seriously got no reason to keep going. It is so hard to carry on when you have no one on your side, no one understands me. I dont know what to do anymore, everything i do always turns into a bad decision which i end up […]
Hi Guys,
It’s 8:30 here and I am already exhausted… I haven’t been getting much sleep these past few nights… Maybe 4-5 hours at the most? Maybe less? All I know is I have been going to bed around 1-2 am and waking up at 5-6:30 am… So not much sleep there… But ya know I don’t really care… Well I guess I do because I feel lonely those 3-4 extra hours and I don’t know what to do with myself…. I start overthinking things. I start wondering, questioning, questioning my very own existence. Why am I here for? What am I here for? What is […]
this depression i cant get over. im almost 23 years old n life isnt life anymore. 10 years of this bullshit. numerous attempted suicides. july 5, 2012 i thought was it for me. i had taken 60+ pills. i just didnt care anymore. at one point i had it all. a job, school, living in my own apartment. today im jobless, living at home with my parents who could care less about my problems, and a single parent. that day i woke up and had completely given up on life. i remember the paramedics trying to talk to me. i was to drugged up for […]
I feel so goddamn helpless and hopeless. anxiety, paranoia, apprehension, guilt, fear and pain are my companionship, they seem to never leave my side.
As far as I can remember, the happiest time in my life was kindergarden, I was carefree and enjoyed life, when grade school started the world around me got colder, and gradually, things got worse and worse….. people, other human beings, are the root of my misery. Instead of being the popular kid in kinder garden, I started grade school and had no friends, other kids often treats me with as insignificant. I was socially isolated and had very few friends. other […]
If somehow you found yourself already having resolve and reason to kill yourself how would you do it?
For me (and I know its “selfish” and wrong) it would be suicide by cops because even though I think of myself as a waste of space I think just killing myself would not accomplish much on my agenda; might as well take the people I hate with me right? I mean if I just up and killed myself through hanging or jumping or whatever …who would care? no one. might as well release what has been pent up inside me for all my life in my last […]
Life is so full of unpredictable beauty & strange surprises …
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.â€
… Keep fighting with your life & You must move forward…
Keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful  thing & there’s so much to smile about…
I wish everyone has a great day 🙂 All The Best 🙂
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Hi Guys,
It’s day 19… Woo… Ummm sooo… Guess I’m continuing these things?
My day… I had a few panic attacks… Well to be exact two… *sigh* Maybe they’ll get better… Umm… So yeah….
How am I? Physically: Terrible absolutely terrible Mentally: Awful
My physical state… *sigh* I’m sickish… I have a headache, my nose hurts, I may or may not have a fever and I’m really stressed out… So I’m not doing so well in my physical state all I want to do is curl up and cuddle with someone, but alas no one is here to cuddle with […]
I tried to hang myself last night. I have Schizoaffective disorder, BPD, PTSD and Anxiety and Depression. I feel like I have no one to talk to and everyone that I do talk to thinks I’m whiney. I have problems with my body and the doctors don’t see anything wrong. It’s so hard for me to walk and my insurance will be up at the end of next month. I will get a biopsy on Monday and they said that it could make my situation worse, plus they are going to stick a needle in the most sensitive area in my body. It’s so depressing […]
Yesterday I was told by my last close friend that her mom doesn’t want me coming over to her house anymore and I don’t know why its like she doesn’t trust me. Right now I just don’t know what to do because all my other friends have gone of to varsity and I’m just at home feeling like a piece of crap. My parents aren’t paying as much attention to what’s going on with me as they should because I’m really losing it. I want to just shoot my self in the head and just end this misery because I’m literally dying inside…I have no-one…everyone […]
I think the hardest problem I’m facing right now is the fact that life got better, I was doing ok, and now, back to this feeling of incredible nothingness, the void that stays in my heart even when things seem to be all right.
NO one wants me in their life, really. Â I started talking to my mom again, found out she and my dad were getting a divorce, and all of it is good because for years they have stayed together and it was making them miserable. Â I reconnected with them, and I got a room mate to help me with the bills. Â I got […]
It all started 4 months ago,when I had a surgery..I never felt like that before..I was in the hospital for 2 weeks..Every day I thought that someone will visit me,at least show me that they care a little..But,no one came,not even the person I called my best friend..When I told him I was in hospital,he said he didn’t notice I was gone..That hurted me a lot..That was the first time I felt lonely and the first night I cried..After a while,suicidal thought’s started to come..I started praying every night to god that something change..but nothing did..Then,one night I met someone over the internet,I never thought […]
I think we all know the feeling of sitting in the corner of your dark, lonely room. Trying not to wake your parents as tears slowly drown you. As you start to see the sun rise you get up off the floor. You wipe your tears and start with your day. You fake getting up and getting ready to look pretty. You head off to school and act like everything is fine and you laugh and smile. But on the inside you know it’s not okay. No one knows you cried all last night. No one would even guess that. You head home. You lock […]
I don’t know what to say
Someone cares
Someone shows that they care
And I don’t know what to do or say
Because no one has really ever showed that they cared
Not my family, not my friends
But this one person comes into my life
And picks me up
And tries to fix me
And shows that they care
I don’t know what to say or do
I’ve been used to not being cared about
I’m used to be the worrier the carer
Not to be worried about
Not to be cared about
I don’t know why
They even go through the effort
It’s […]
i think its safe to say from what has just happund no one cares about me at all
i think i need to think for a bit
so long
I give people hints all the time that i need help.. mentally physically and emtionally i cry out for help all the time and no one will just open their eyes.. UGHH. I hate life.. I recently watched a really good movie on netflix. It was called the suicide virgins it was really really good yall have to watch it.. It made me think .. i flushed my blades so i cant cut but ive been thinking of so many other objects to use i just cant do it i made a promise  i know if i do one ill keep doing it .
im not meant to be here. ive decided that. i have no purpose here. no one out there really tries for me to live. no one is stopping me. i try my best. but it doesn’t work. maybe i wasnt meant to live. maybe i was meant to die. im not sure. but all i know is im a burden. i guess im one of those mistakes you tried to erase, but you couldnt get the job done well enough so im just a scratched out mark. i dont know guys. i know you dont have an answer i guess it doesnt really matter. but […]
a girl comes sit next to me, because there is barely any other spot free on the whole train. We don’t talk because that’s what people usually do when they sit next to each other (at least here in Germany). It happens that people who don’t know each other start a nice conversation, but rarely.
Then it happens: Someone nearby gets up to leave the train at the next stop, and – wtf – she gets up and sits down where the other guy sat before. I mean, it is not like she doesn’t have to sit next to no one there, just some other stranger. […]
All I can produce are tears. Tears of anger, frustration, irritation or just sadness. I really can’t tell the difference. I can just feel the wetness run down my cheeks and the salty taste on my lips. My chest caving in and a sharp pain in my stomach, as if someone piercing it with a knife. My heart is spinning and I can’t seem to tie down on a single thought…I’m lost..and it feels like I’m in this dark corner, forever alone, sadness consuming.