Philosophically, I’m lower than the lowest low. My mind isn’t here anymore, I’m the most dangerous human being alive because even I don’t know what I’m going to do next. Every constructive, fruitful, positive outlook on life I have is crushed underneath the weight, the sheer gravity of our waking reality. This moment, is all there is. Time is meaningless, as is mathematics. These are nothing more than arbitrary measurements we use to quantify absolutely nothing, fleeting happiness in incoherent vortex of human brutality. Yeah, yeah get a goal, get motivated, work hard, work until your hands and calloused and bleeding, that’s the real treat, […]
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nobody knows
I am so beyond lowest of low points that I have given up on everything. I couldnt be bothered showering, brushing my teeth, washing clothes even eating. I don’t sleep one day just so I can sleep through the next. I am in immense pain from my back and my rotting teeth.
I once cared so much about my health and my appearance. Where did it go wrong?
Finally my doctor is listening to me & trying to help. Why now after nearly a year of seeing him, telling him my troubles, what I want to do, does he now want to do something?
I made my very […]
Hyper beam, inspiration
The dying hell of Leech
Calypso
Are you the dead queen
Does this, have an end
The words
The lyrics
I don’t even exist
I see a wild Ratatat, smiles
I just want to breathe and be strong, Calypso
My … reality
Robin Williams, angel man
Would of saved me a million times
How I exist, nobody knows
I’m just Leech.
The arm of … the angel of death, hurts
Nobody knows, nobody, nobody knows
Treacherously holding our scythes for
The dying ones, nobody, nobody knows
The angel, the angel.
Time, has proven to be, eternal, to me
Passing time, I am the ultimate spawn
I will never come back, I will never
You have to help me, the homage of the undead
Take me, take me … To go die.
The black whisper, the white viper
The abstract story, one does not enlighten
And all is forever lost, transcendence, the pain
My nature, my spawn, into your death
Calypso, we were going to destroy the world.
Somebody save me, Sakura […]
Everything disgusts me. I try to be like everybody else but I’m not. I constantly feel disconnected and lonely and sad, if I hear about abuse in third OR first world countries I feel sick inside out. Racism, Homophobia, inequality of wealth, torture, rape, misogyny, death, illness, makes me shudder inside out. The fact we are brought into a boring world where nothing is fun and we get old and deteriorate, and bullied for always being ugly and never good enough DESTROYS me.
I never got over that I was raped and sexually assaulted more than once by different people, or this abortion I had where […]
Everyone stares at me, i can’t breath. put on a smiling face but nothing is real, i feel hollow and empty everyday. I dont know if i can take this lie anymore.
When i was 13 i was raped, i dropped out after that.
nobody knows why i stopped going to school… the depression just got to be too much. i tried to kill myself and thats when my mother stopped pestering me everyday about getting on the bus, then this year… i thought my life got better. my depression wasnt so bad, so i tried to get back in school, they gave me the option to […]
The teardrops run down
And fall off her nose
She cries in dark corners were
nobody goes.
You can follow her tracks
from her eyes to her chin,
Years upon years of letting them win.
And her eyes tell a story
of anger and pain.
You think that’s she’s happy
but just look again.
And the scars in her past
hidden under her clothes
are a roadmap to places that nobody knows.
Her smile is now painted,
shes a master of disguise,
And you can see it […]
If you were someone outside yourself looking at the person you are now, if you knew how badly “you” were suffering and knew what words & actions, if any, could ease the pain, if you knew “your” mind so well that you wouldn’t waste a minute doing the useless things that others try unsuccessfully, and most importantly if you really cared about “you” and would never give up, would you be able to save “you”?
You would always know exactly what to say. You would always understand exactly what’s going on. You would know exactly what would bring out a smile, a laugh, or that rare […]
There’s a story of a little girl. She was kind and beautiful. And, happy. At least, she used to be. That was until middle school got to her. I remember the way her eyes lit up every single day. I remember how she spoke. Just one smile brightened everyone’s morning. She was fun. She was adventurous. She was confident.
There’s a story of a little girl. Who went home from school excited for tomorrow. She always did her homework the first chance she got. She was the loving sister, the helpful friend. She was Daddy’s Little Girl. The only things in her mind were her […]
It’s 2 AM now in chile.. I just can’t sleep, these days I’ve haven’t sleep well. I noticed that I’ve been on 4 differents schools in the last 3 years.. and the last year and a half had made me the person I am. I just don’t get why i’m empty inside.. why smile its becoming harder or why I feel like I’m going mad.. I just can’t tell anybody what’s happening with me.. im just stucked in the centre of my life drawning my tears and showing me happy as usual am I.. nobody suspects that something is happening
I’m scared of keep like […]
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