today was a very odd day for me, one of those “subdued excitements” that I don’t recognize and stop before it comes to bite me in the ass. Excitement just leads to catastrophic levels of disappointment for me. I get my hopes up because my mind comes up with these amazing–and yet, impossible–scenarios about what will happen. And they never happen, even the worst of the best! It’s always just flat-out bad shit that happens. Today was primed to go spectacularly in my mind, even though if it had occurred the way it was planned it still probably would have been shitty. But no! It […]
Tag:
normal
I’m not technically suicidal. I just wish I were dead. The relief. Or someone else who is normal. I am bipolar and I cannot be genuine in relationships. I cannot date. I keep myself to myself on my personal time. My best friends are all those I had as a young child. I was always funny (what fucked up person isn’t the funniest?) At work I am the funny hard worker. You’ll never see me bring depression or sadness into the workplace. No one would have a clue I’m drowning in my own ego. My friends don’t know anything. One actually complimented me just last […]
I have suffered from depression since around the age of 13I can’t really say if I thought about suicide back then. I know from things that happened to me my childhood was Rod I never got to enjoy some of the experiences young people did like normal relationships and that affected my life as an adult. I’m in capable of handling a relationship normally like any other person would I fall easily hard and even when a relationship is unhealthy for me I don’t want to end it I am currently in a toxic relationship and addictive relationshipand although I do love this woman I […]
Hi, I live in Asia and currently a 23 years old male
I feel that my entire life is in constant loops of suffering. I do not have a normal family, and I am an illegitimate child. Yet, i always do not let my identity define myself. Apart fron that, i was always bullied in school, with people constantly calling me names. Because of that, I had a very low self esteem and always tried to avoid people. I did not participate in any activities, and always went home straight if there was no make up classes. I had a really bad 5 years in my […]
I have pushed away everyone in my life over the last few years; family, friends, significant others…everyone. Why? They don’t understand how I feel inside, how I suffer on a daily basis. They are finding joy in life, so I cast them out and tucked myself away…probably for the best.
Is there such a thing as being to alone? Is there such a thing as a loner finding another loner to be alone with? Does this ever happen? I realize I cannot have a “normal” life with lot’s of family and friends around, but to have just one person, a companion, would make life “normal” for […]
I’ve been in treatment for suicide thougths in a klinik. But since i stopped i felt the same… The same thougths, the thougths I was supposed to be saved from. So why is they still here? I don’t understand! Everyone thinks im “normal” again, my family. So everyday I walk around with a fake smile. Maube everyone belives it, but the darkness often take over my thougths, and suicide seems like the only way.
why is death the only answer? what happen if i succeed only to find that it hurts on the other side? where does this anguish come from and why cant i beat it? why cant i be a normal person? why do so many of us suffer from this? why cant life be simple and easy? why do people prevent me from having work, a place to live and food to eat? why cant i abide by the rules? so many questions, too few answers
Every time I ask for help all she does is laugh. All I need is her advice, but instead she would laugh. She doesn’t look at my arms anymore because she thinks I’m normal but really I have razor cuts all over my arms. When I started to cut she always thought It was a break up, but It was always her. She made fun of me and my friends. Always blamed me for her and my stepdad fighting. I’ve been cutting myself for over a week because of her. I just need her to accept me and know that I am my own person. […]
I want to be loved,
I want to be a good dad
I want to be strong
I want to be creative
I want to be healthy
I want to be happy
I want to be normal
“sorry son. Here’s a beer while you watch other people with those things through this window. enjoy yourself”
Hi
I’m sharing my story, because it seems to make me feel better, which I’d guess is point of this site.
I’ve always had sensitivity, anxiety, and depression issues, (undiagnosed), but often medicated with once drugs and nowadays alcohol as a have a kid which has straightened me out some. I’ve managed to keep a good job, but have generally isolated myself. I’ve had thoughts of suicide in the past, but i’ve generally managed to form some kind of stability in work, sleep overs with my kid and the occassional binge drinking episode. A lonely existance, yet stable for me and also held together with a little […]
I consider my depression a terminal illness. Some of us battling this illness, we know we will terminate our lives one day. We are basically just waiting to die, because we can’t be saved. The darkness inside will always be there, waiting to resurface . It won’t let us be normal. It won’t let us be happy. It’s like we are slaves to this darkness. We basically sign our lives away by taking all the medication, because once you’re on antidepressants, you can’t stop taking them or else you’ll really be fucked in the […]
So I came across this site randomly whilst looking for ways to overcome anxiety and how to stop being a failure.
I had an amazing job, I screwed it up with my depression. I lost a baby back in 2011, a baby that was wanted so much. I had suffered with depression years before that but the minute I found out i was going to be a mum it was like my life was perfect and all the grey clouds had lifted. But there was a problem with the pregnancy and I had to terminate on medical grounds at 20 weeks. She wouldn’t survive, her lungs […]
My iPhone’s network-mainframe seems to be operating back to normal. I wonder.. I probably shouldn’t network back on that laptop, though.
Why is it that everytime I turn around someone’s telling me that I put myself in this place? I dug myself this hole and I’m keeping myself 10feet under.. If I could for one day feel “normal” (whatever society considers that) then I would be in a heart beat but I don’t ask to see think and feel the things I do. I don’t ask for the flashbacks or nightmares and I don’t ask for the emptiness.. But whatever maybe it’s something I deserve maybe and fuck being “normal”
For the past 6 years I have suffered from severe depression and social anxiety. There has never been a good time in my life. Before I even developed mental illnesses my Dad was an abusive asshole to my mother and sometimes to me and my siblings. I’ve never had a true friend, I click with no one and relate with no one. I’ve been in therapy for about 3 years now and it seems like nothing is getting better. I left school on the first day of last year because of how bad things were getting; I just couldn’t handle it any longer.
So basically all I’ve been […]
I know the holidays can be a rough time of year for some people. Especially people suffering from depression, addiction,etc. my question is for you how do you get through it in your situations? Me I just do like I do on a normal basis take it day by day…. See what comes.
I forgot how to live.
I forgot how I usually react and respond to things. I forgot how to reply. I forgot how to socialise. I don’t know how to do all that.
I forgot how to be normal.
This is hard.
Maybe being alive isn’t my forte.
I have been under constant monetary stress since i was 12. I always felt it was my responsibility to be a breadwinner. Every happy moment, every sad moment was suffocated by this false responsibility. now i feel like ii cant live without it. The second my life returns to some amount of safety, security , and normalcy i spiral into a depression. I hurt myself or get hurt by others until I’m back in some impossible situation.
I should just end it now, its apparent that I will only serve to make those around me miserable. It’s apparent im incapable of a normal life. Ive been […]
I think I am going to do it this week. I won’t say how but too be honest i have tried everything to fix myself and nothing works. The woman I love so dearly has given up on me and our friendship because I can’t stop seeing another woman that gives me nothing, it’s all my fault and I feel as though I’m drowning every day. My uni work is piling and piling and piling and regardless that I graduate in a few months time it’s not enough to keep me going.
I never used to be depressed. I was so happy at one stage in […]
This may be my last post not because I’m going to kill myself. As my drs and social services don’t think I can cope anymore and they are right. They think my mental health condition is not manageable in the Community or like a psychiatric hospital. So they looking at sending me to a therapeutic Community. I really don’t want to go but got no Choice over the matter. I know I cart cope with the life I’ve been given feeling suicidal is just one off many problems I’ve got to deal with on a day to day basis. I wish I could be a […]