I believe life is essentially pointless.
I say this not necessarily because I feel our everyday experiences are void of meaning, but because we are going to inevitably forget all of our experiences, we will have no way of knowing we ever existed; in essence, nothing will have mattered.
It is to my understanding, that this this belief is what fundamentally causes me to be such a calm and reserved individual. Very seldomly does something really get to me, in the back of my mind, I know the clock is ticking to my death, I […]
So… I really don’t know where to start or what I’m even meant to say… My head is so full of racing thoughts that I can’t even work out what the thoughts are, they’re just a complete mess. I don’t want this anymore, I don’t want to live like this. I’ve tried so hard to beat it but I can’t fight anymore, I’m pretty sure fighting with your own mind is impossible anyway? I feel like there’s nothing left to do… I just desperately need to end this, I need to hurry up and do it. I just wish that this guilt wouldn’t stop me/ […]
The more you look back at it, the more it becomes clear. The chaos in the way everything around you moves, breathes, exists and ultimately vanishes into the void. I’m sort of glad I found this place, I wasn’t sure a thing like this would exist. I’ve been cutting so many ties lately, well, is still tough to linger as you start the preparations. I think it was a good idea to set a counter, so I’ll start with 20. I’ll post 20 things in here before I can manage to successfully be one with the nothingness and have the sweet embrace of everlasting silence.
I […]
For me, the 80’s had a scent. Kinda like the plastic flower section of an old Walmart, the Walmart’s that closed at night time (usually 10pm).
I’ve been watching the television program “The Golden Girls” a lot lately and I swear I can smell that plastic flower smell while I’m watching!!!
…..the yarn at the old Walmart’s had a smell to!!!!
Ohhh And “ALF”, man I loved ALF!!!
It’s a shame television can’t be good again!!!!
Erm, just one more thing. I have yet to figure out how Dark Horse Brewing (The new program on the History Channel that has nothing to do with […]
That’s almost what I did today. I barely stopped myself. I was just overwhelmed. My mom yelled at me, my brother treated me badly, I’ve been depressed for weeks now (constantly). I’ve lost almost all my friends. I’m being forced to face my day (by my mother) when I can’t even get up.
And I face the monster in front of me everyday: my past.
Many tell me: what you did meant nothing. It’s the past. My pain meant nothing? The fact I gave away something I can’t get back is nothing? It being in the past doesn’t change anything.
So today I’m running. Away from everything. I’m […]
I can’t wait for the apocalypse. Maybe it will be Ebola, or Russia vs. The West or North Korea will finally build its first working ICBM. Maybe all of these will happen at the same time.
Then all I need is enough sertraline to make sure I still feel nothing while I sit back and watch the world burn.
I am so alone, so weak, so not anything worth keeping up a fight for.
You know those feelings that are so strong they just become unexplainable? That’s what this is like.
So now what am I supposed to say? “Goodbye cruel world.” Or whatever. No, there is nothing left to say, only to do. Go. Leave. Exit.
Hi, I’ve been fighting against depression for 15 years and I think I’ve finally given up on that battle. I can’t take it anymore. I just create havoc around me, and I drag people’s lives into misery with me.
I’m the only child of a deeply disturbed and disturbing woman. To everyone who doesn’t know her she seems to be a loving, caring person, quirky at most, but to those who are near her, she comes out as she is: plain scary. She’s violent, contradictory, manipulative. Ever since I was a young child I stood no chance to grow up to be normal, to be social, […]
Chuuming the sea,
Get it ready for me.
Throw in the fish,
Prepare the main dish.
Sharks all around,
They wait for that sound.
Me falling in,
Let the feeding begin.
Biting and ripping,
I feel my life slipping.
Soon nothing there,
Life was too much to bear.
Find my boat on the sea,
But they’ll never find me.
I’ve just seen this site and registered as I know it’s somewhere no one who knows me would look.
I have battled with depression for a really long time now. I did have a couple of years of respite, but over the last 5 years, it’s becoming more difficult to manage.
Pretty much everyone I know knows I suffer from depression but just recently and up to this day I have kept to what degree from them. The last year or so has been especially difficult as I lost my father and my mother has become hostile towards me. She has always been protective and has frowned […]
Why do we continue the empty eternal struggle. Knowing there is nothing at the end.
Listening to my immortal right now by amy lee, it looks like my past has come back to haunt me, like death is silently calling me, someone is calling me in this wind, someone wants me, loves me, and i need to commit suicide to see that person. the years i have lived are nothing, im empty as my soul, i have nothing to live for, like.. my parents mean nothing to me, nobody means anything to me. do you understand how i feel ?
Humans are very bad at making decisions. And I’m no exception. Even though I haven’t decided weather or not I will go for the big and final exit or not, I’m already on my way. Unconsciously, I’ve already started to wither. Smoking is obviously bad and sometimes I wonder if I’m going to get lung-cancer one day. The lung-cancer part doesn’t scare me – but the fact that I couldn’t care less, really freaks me out.
That’s one of me biggest problems now days; I simply don’t care. I don’t care if won’t graduate, I don’t care if my pets gonna die and I don’t care if […]
Like all humans the boy had limits.Limits to what he could do.but also limits to what he could take and after all the time that had passed he finally understood one fact.He would always be alone.the boy had tried harder than most people would have…he tried harder than he should have….he gave up.he was done.he decided to not care anymore.he cut himself off.he showed nothing.that darkness in his heart had once again warped him.his face grew blank.no smiling.no more crying.nothing…he gave in to the lonliness.he kept it all inside.his feelings of pain and resentment and sadness…he decided to close them in his heart and pretend […]
When can I leave? I want so badly to go now to just fade away. But I can’t. I promised myself I would wait till my parents were gone. So here I am waiting, forever waiting till the time when I can cease to exist. There is nothing for me here and there never can be. I only destroy everything and create pain for those around me. Around people but never part of anything, no connection. Alone. And hurting.
Just done tryin,
Tired of cryin.
Got nothing to give,
Got no reason to live.
No one will care,
No one will be there.
Just me all alone,
Just want to go home.
Walk into the sea,
Let it swallow me.
Become one with the deep.
Eternal sleep.
I am a whore. Or at least I used to be. I can’t forgive myself for my past. My wife has a past of her but she doesn’t give a shit. We are shameful people. We gave ourselves away and now there’s nothing left. I tried God. Called out to him many times but never heard anything in return. I’m not depressed or anything. I’m just tired of trying and failing. But I don’t even have the guts to kill myself so I just live as a tortured soul. I’m miserable. I need to get it over with.
I’m 23 years old, and I’m the General Manager of a brand new business my father has opened. This is his first and only business he has ever opened and he has been dreaming about it for a very long time. I am the only one in this family with experience in this industry of business that my father has just opened. So obviously, everything falls to me when it comes to this business. I work 15 hours a day, if I’m lucky and it’s slow I’ll work 12-14 hours. I get 1 day off a week to see my boyfriend. Without going into too […]
Anyone else ? I have been diagnosed with paranoia, Im a pretty crazy girl. I think extreme things and with mental illness it becomes hard to live, because people dont know why are you acting that way..they dont get it, I cried yesterday because i thought my friend was going to leave me, but there was nothing like that, im worried all the time, im taking medications to calm myself down, its hard to live like this, how do i act normal like everyone ? little things push me to suicide, i like the idea of death, i like how they put the dead bodies […]
Mirror mirror on the wall
Why are u lying to me ?
That’s not me , that reflection
Why are u only show things that I wanna see
Im ugly Fat And unworthy
And there is nothing that I like about me
My boyfriend said im pretty
But I doubt it cuz he hates me
He hit me when Im sad n gloomy
He yell and cuss , makes me feel unworthy
Family ignored me
Friends walk away from me
All I have is me but
there is nothing that I can like about me anymore
The hatred that I have for myself is infinity