my last post holds alot of personal meaning…..maybe for all of us in one way r another…….i hope
Tag:
one way
Last time I wrote on here I thought I was feeling bad. Well, I’m worse now. And what makes it harder to deal with, is that everyone saw me get better and believe that’s still the case. After my parents spoke to my psychiatrist few months back they were so stressed and worried about me being depressed and suicidal. I don’t want to put them through that again. My best friend has enough troubles to deal with, I don’t want her to worry about me as well. It just sucks that I would do so much harm if I spoke about it and I feel […]
….you have to kill the person!
I’m in so much pain and it’s only gonna get worse.. there’s only one way it will truly stop.
Idk how I’m gonna keep going at this rate
One moment im thinking about the the relief and freedom an exit would provide, then later I’m thinking it’s no answer, it’s just quitting. The thought of it being over seems to make me happy, but I bet if I got a cancer diagnosis I’d be pissed.
If you’re willing to die, why not be willing to make a go of it instead? I dunno..
The wish to die will be granted to each and every one of us one day, without exception. So why live in fear of failing another attempt at happiness regardless of how foolish it seems? In the end we will be gone […]
Well after another failed attempt on my life I’ve ended up back on a mental heath ward 25 miles from my own town. I cart do this again I cart stand it I cart do anythink right I cart even kill myself right. I’m lucky to be allowed my phone as the last time I was in hospital I was not. I’m Laying here thinking of away out but I don’t think it possible here and I don’t know how long I would have to stay here for.
I just cart take another day off how I am feeling it’s over 7 years now off the […]
I have an abusive partner, rarely physical abuse. It’s abuse which is carefully engineered to hurt me from within. Emotional abuse is the worst form I believe. It destroys your mind and leaves you with numbness. Everyday I suffer, in one way or another. I feel myself getting closer and closer to the point of no return. The one thing keeping me here is my son. I’m beginning to feel even he would be better without all of this. Maybe he can then have a happy childhood.
I have no family, I have no friends, this account and post was created in secret. I know it’s […]
My son asked me one day what my greatest fear was. I couldnt respond. I was unsure. Usually ones greatest fear is linked to death in one way or another. I do not fear death. After a few months of thinking about it, i have come to the conclusion that my greatest fear is existing in this redundant way of life forever.
“Or are you just going to become a humble little butterfly”
It’s just me and little Leroy; always has
The only thing that’s right in hell is the ground
Chained, masked, neck to the boulder
Humble white death, utter-doom-child of all calamity
The insulin, the insulin
The saga in the year of the Horse, dark
Taken, under the ‘Blood-Moon’
But fate was already written
My little Leroy, your pure cosmic soul
Will you transfer through, our tears of ours lives
You are my forever, transfer the data
Leroy The Number One, I love you
Nobody knows our history, it was just you and me
Forever and the after, you will always […]
My dog was misbehaving a bit today, not the first time and I thought I’d just talk to her so she knows she can’t do what she did. Instead I slapped her in the head so hard that even I could not believe it. Instantly I knew I should not have done that and I regret it very much, but it was as if I was not there, it was someone else hitting her. I feel that dog would be happier some place else, so I will try looking for new home for her and after that I can die. I hope I will, because […]
i feel like my life is comeing to its end like thers nothing now but to die or let the hear on my face grow and look at the tv screen i uesd to be happy for a wile my last haza ? or was that me lieing to my self and nwo this is the end were i go one way or another two paths to take nither of them good but death looks the like best way foword
No idea what to say
The sun isn’t shining today
Beneath the dark clouds
Fighting the rain
Who knows what’ll happen today
In a world sealed off from the inside
People fighting for their lives
Your perspective shrinks down to a spec
And you only find one way out
Beneath the dark clouds
Fighting the rain
Not a single one of us is sane
Fighting ourselves
And anyone that comes near
Becoming the nightmare we fear
To keep going on
Would take to much
So might as well end it here.
Be carful of your own mind,it may not seem like it but u could be in denial,its a tricky thing really there isnt many ways to tell if your lying to yourself.well I can give you one way to absolutely tell if your in denial about something.Look for the tick.that split second feeling of unsure and insecure.that one off moment.if u pay attention you’ll realize just how big of a lie you’ve told yourself.I talk from experience it works but only if you have sharp senses about what goes on in your mind.A tip so u dont have to be like the rest of the […]
All of us here with our suicidal ideations and intentions (this post is not addressed to the wannabe saviours, bless their sweet souls) – I lurk and read, and i write and comment rather little, but I am here every day nonetheless. And the impression I’m getting is that, despite the fact that we are all weak in one way or another, some people discuss suicide from a position of strength and some from absolute vulnerability. The strong ones display vulnerability, but the vulnerable ones do not display strength. I’m not going to name names; I’m not even going to tell you which of those I imagine […]
My heart goes out to Robin for the pain he endured and to his family and friends for their loss. So many gifted comics suffer from depression. Comedy is one way to deal with an inane world and internal pain. Robin shared his gift abundantly with us. RIP, Robin.
You are at an unmarked intersection … one way is the City of Lies and another way is the City of Truth. Citizens of the City of Lies always lie. Citizens of the City of Truth always tell the truth. A citizen of one of those cities (you don’t know which) is at the intersection. What question could you ask him to find the way to the City of Truth? (you can ask only one question)
(I realise that all of them are bad in one way or another) but I want to know specific ones I should definitely avoid. I’m going to see a psychiatrist tomorrow and the nurse told me that because of my assessment results I will most likely be prescribed antidepressants, so I want to come in prepared. I would be very thankful if any of you could advice me on this; I don’t want to get side-effects that will make me feel worse than I already do.
I can’t take this hospital. I’ve tried to hold it together, I’ve tried to be strong, for you guys and for my sister, but I don’t know if I can anymore. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’ve had a complete 180 turn since I was admitted 2 days ago. I feel like there isn’t hope anymore. I just can’t live with my past… it’s too horrible. The only reason why I’m wondering if I shouldn’t is because I don’t know how my sister would react. I think she’d blame herself, and I don’t want that. I just want her […]
i call this dark place home. i am stuck living with my crazy family. but i will get out of here one way or another. help me if possible.
The girl that always seems to come back to me one way or another in such a way that i want to control but emotions,memories all coming running back. I cant seem to move on, Ive tried so many times to forget but its not enough time because she comes back to me. Being broken up now for over 5 months, being together for a total of 3 years its hard to just forget someone like that. Are we meant for each other? Its her family that worries me…. They hate me…I don’t want to be hated for feel uncomfortable around them. What do i […]
I mean, I may have friends. Maybe people out there care for me, but I’m very overhelmed by sadness that I can’t see it, or believe it. Still, being with my “friends” is nothing, I feel alone with them, I feel alone without them… I’m such a mess. I don’t deserve these people. Some care on their own different way, but I can’t see it. I sound like an attention seeker don’t I? I’m not. Seriously.
Still, every single person I have met has hurt me in one way or another. Maybe I’m too sensible. I don’t know. I’m a goddamn disaster. I feel worthless. […]