Last time I wrote on here I thought I was feeling bad. Well, I’m worse now. And what makes it harder to deal with, is that everyone saw me get better and believe that’s still the case. After my parents spoke to my psychiatrist few months back they were so stressed and worried about me being depressed and suicidal. I don’t want to put them through that again. My best friend has enough troubles to deal with, I don’t want her to worry about me as well. It just sucks that I would do so much harm if I spoke about it and I feel so trapped because I can’t.
I just want it all to go away, one way or another..
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Your parents and best friend would feel more hurt if they thought that they could have said or done something to keep you safe. The statistics on what suicide does to a family and the number of family members who commit suicide after a love one’s suicide is heart-wrenching. Even a close friend with some depressive influence in his or her life is more likely to commit suicide after the loss of a close friend. You may push someone else over the edge too.
Give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re probably stronger than you think, and they would love the chance to help you.
I’m not counting on their help or support, they’re incapable of doing these things; if they were I wouldn’t be posting on here or taking medication. So why bother them? If they could just acknowledge my depression and not treat me like a happy person that would be enough. I don’t want them to worry cos I’m not worth worrying about. Besides, they should already know that what I’m thinking and feeling is completely out of their control so why worry. I stopped worrying about people, why can’t they.
OK, You started to get better before. You can get better now. What you need to do is realize that often depression and suicidal tendencies is not something that can be completely cured buy a pill.
It has to do with the sum total of your life and how you feel about life and how you feel about yourself and your future. So you need to take a persoanal inventory. Try to get to the bottom of what is really causing your depression. Are you lonley, are you bored with life, has somebody told you over and over something bad about you and you accepted it and now your depressed, have you tried things and failed. Do you feel like you have no direction in life. Did you lose a lover, do you not like your appearance??? What ever it may be you need to search within yourself and find the route of the problem and then take action to finding the best way to deal with whatever it is that ails you. So you can get on track and start to better your life and better yourself and then you will start to feel good about yourself and good about life again.
Medications can help, but you also need to find your personal issues and work through them
I can help you if you want to chat
jrock7766@hushmail.com
dont believe that you are a burden because you are not
and dont believe that things are going to keep getting worse
they are not
you will pull out of this and move forward in life and have a good life
email me anytime.
haha, ok I’ll answer your questions. I am lonely, bored with life, people used to tell me bad stuff about me which significantly lowered my self esteem years ago, I’ve tried many things and keep on failing at all of them, I definitely have no direction in life, I lost a lover, I hate my appearance.
I’ve reasoned everything out a million times already, only option is for me to stay drugged for the rest of my life.
Thanks for your offer btw.
The most important things to say are often the hardest, but it’s important that you say them when you have the chance. By not talking to the people closest to you, you start down the path to isolation. Don’t do that to yourself.
Isolation can feel comfortable if handled right. And if I start to dislike it I can just drop a bomb on them when I feel like it. Palmer123 said they’re strong enough to handle it lol. I think that’s what I’m gonna do anyway.