People stare at me like im weird..a freak..an outcast..when they see my scars. You dont think about the scars when you cut do you? You just want to see the blood pour down your arm and drip onto the floor. It distracts you from the real pain..whatever your pain may be. They watch you from behind friends as you pick up a knife to cut your steak…whisper when you paint your nails and toenails black..laugh when you wear long sleeves in the summertime..in florida..just to cover up these scars..that forever remind you of what you lost..but i..i wouldnt trade mine for the world..I’d trade only […]
Tag:
Outcast
Hi,
I’m Arnaud and I’m 20 years old.
If you ask me what I think about my life I can only say that it sucks. I don’t know what to do.
Most people see me as a happy person with lots of humor, a nice smile and lots of friends. That’s nice because it is exactly what I want to show to my friends and family. I don’t want them to worry for me because I know they can’t do anything to help me.
When people ask me questions like: “what is your goal in life?†or “what is your biggest dream?†I reply: “buying an Island in the […]
I have been alive for a little over 15 years  now.  I’ve laughed countless times, smiled the majority of my life, and cried when it seemed appropriate.  Yet I’ve rarely done any of these with emotion.  I’ve been alive for over a decade and a half but I can’t think of a single time when I was truly living.
I started to realize that I was empty, and that emptiness was suffocating.  It was a tangible force, crushing me to the ground like gravity.  I wanted to feel something…  maybe love or at even agony, just anything but this hollowness inside of me.  I want to be able to […]
I’m a 17 (almost 18) year old girl and this is my brain’s rant session.
I’m extremely distant from reality pretty much all day, my life seems so pointless and corrupted that I create these fantasies about people, usually guys, I wish I could affect, but actually am just obsolete to.
After seeing the film Girl, Interrupted, I had a kind of wake up call that I was almost identical to Susana Kaysen who had Boderline Personality Disorder, it made me feel like I could define myself finally instead of being this pathetic outcast. I took a test for this on the internet and it confirmed that […]
I have been reading some of the stories which describe such deep pain that I wish I didn’t feel. I am tired of feeling. I am tired of being an outcast and a victim. My mother and my father sexually abused me as a child. However, they always appeared as the “good” churchgoing couple for the last 30 years plus. How do some people live a life of hypocrisy and crime, get away with it and even prosper? I didn’t remember the abuse until years later. Although, through the years there were hints, signs and flashes until it finally came together and I chose to deal with the […]
Oh god. I hate myself. I hate myself and everyone and everything around me. Where do I start?
My issues started when my mum and identical twin died in my old American habitat. I was 5. Then my dad made us move to England, where I started school. I never fitted in. I was always an outcast. They bully me mercilessly, still to this day. Then in 2008, I met my future boyfriend. His name was Stefan and he was Italian. We were together for 4 months, when I said I loved him. Do you know how painful it is to tell someone you love them and […]
So it all started in the fifth grade, My uncle had just died from cancer. I was sad of course. I started to wear alot of black. People of course did’nt care all they did was call me gothic and emo. My life was just so stupid, I didn’t know what to do at the age of 10, I had friends but why would I tell them anything? So I just became really isolated and just kept to myself, I thought this was just a new to live life, But then my mom was diagnosed with deppresion and Bipolar, Before that my parent’s split upp, […]
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