Honestly i just feel like theres no cure to being me. Despite all my good points i feel like my personality is hollow and empty. Because it was pain and trauma that developed, that shaped who i am completely, to the point its all there is inside me. I was molested as a child, abused and harassed for being anorexic or self harming, dealt with poverty and a severely mentally ill mother often by myself when my father was basically out of the picture, grew up isolated (no school, no friends), i’ve been homeless and just so much shit (some i dont want to get […]
Do you remember when your breaking point was. When you finally couldn’t take all the darkness that you felt around you. The moment you let yourself down.. The moment when you didn’t give a shit if you died or lived. I remember it and I have the evidence for the rest of my existing life. I only cut myself on the left side of my wrist. Why ruin your other wrist. Just put the pain all in one spot at a time. Just look at your artwork of scars. I remember when the breaking point was. I promised my self I would never harm myself, […]
It doesn’t matter how much volunteer work I do, how many jobs I work at, how many classes I take, or how much I actively reach out to help people. Nobody wants anything to do with me. I’m very lonely. Nobody messages me or asks me to hang out with them, nobody asks how I’m doing, and last year nobody visited me in the hospital when I was there for a week. What’s wrong with me? Why am I this big of a social outcast? Why am I treated like I’m just extraordinarily annoying? I really just want to die. I want the pain to […]
The reason that I hated the medication was not only because it made what little wits I had disappear….it was because of the false “happiness” that it seemed to give me. Not even happiness…all it did was tarnish the true feelings of sadness, invalidated it by erasing the memories of what caused my pain. So I was left with the sadness, the depression, but a feeling that I was inflicting it upon myself, making me feel even more worthless. As if this pain was…made up. All in my head. I want to run away into space and never come back. I want to disappear. So […]
I am here just to ask one simple thing for the ones who’ve tried it. Can we live (if not happily,somehow keep breathing without killing oneself ) all alone? I mean by isolating oneself from everyone we know. Is it worth living or breathing would just be a waste of time? Going to a far off distance,leaving everyone behind and off to such a place where nobody knows you. Just to earn your bread and somehow live.I am a girl from the eastern part of the world so my problem wouldn’t make sense to most of you. All my life people have compared me with […]
I’ve wanted to kill myself since I was very young. I was raised knowing that I wasn’t very much liked in my family and knowing I’ve caused so much pain over the years just existing is killing me inside. Nobody deserves the things I’ve done and I just can’t be this person anymore. When my mom got pregnant for me she was cheating on my younger sister’s father with my father, who was dying. When I was born my mother want allowed to tell many people about my real father because her boyfriend didn’t want people to know. My father died the day I turned […]
I have the words on the tip of my tongue, but somehow my coward heart will not let me speak them out.
It’s wasting life, dying slowly. I should love pain, cause he’s the meaning of it.
i have researched for numerous ways to commit, today i begin my journey to end this pain through self starvation. Ill post periodically to inform about the process. its been a long fight, and the fight to live is finally over.
You wake up in the morning – happy as can be. You strive in life to put a smile on anothers’ face, but struggle to put one on your own. The evening comes and the thoughts wander in – What if…wouldn’t it be great…how would others react it…
Ive been through this website a few times as I struggled to keep myself from making a second attempt. I read about how others feel, the struggles they go through, the stories that match mine.
Having a constant loss of happiness is the worst pain. The moments spent creating little notes and looking up various ways of attempting. The […]
I believe that some people feel more so than others. The amount of sadness it’d take one person to crumble is what another wakes up to every day. You will never know my pain, nor I, yours. We can describe them as best we can, but I will never know what it is to carry your burden, and vise versa. I feel as though my own pain is much greater than most, as obnoxious as that sounds.. I live in a constant state of anxiety. How do others see me? Am I annoying? My breathing is too loud. Am I performing this task too slowly? […]
I am not feary dragon
Then what I am, a muck
Time is the viscous
Life, it keeps going
Are you cosmic-obstructed
The veil of the tango
Only that I am, the pain
International angel, dying Beedrill
Dying Butterfree, never for me
Dragonyte, step in
Beautiful, child.
The chain, blood, I call
Phoenix-down, for me
I speak from the grave underground-style
Infiltrate, broadcast from dead-zero
Daemon exist in the world, my friend
Black-pirate, for the pierce
Gateway thirteen, behind
Something exist
Prologue, backward
Do you know what I mean
Degenerated X.
When I’m around normals, I feel like nobody could ever understand the amount of hurt I feel. So I come somewhere where nobody knows me. I share my pain. Some people look at it like they couldn’t ever imagine going through something so horrible. Others look and say “wow, what a spoiled brat. I’ve had it twice as hard.”
Only the dead are winners here.
Don’t we all like to lose?
During life we all face things that are difficult to cope with. no story is worst then the others. everyone has their own amount of pain they can deal with.
this is a very short version of my story.
I was 7 years old when i heard my fathers door close. My best friend entered my room and started revealing the darkest secrets i could of imagined. My father has been molesting and raping her in his room every day. i didnt know what this meant at the time and i thought that it was normal. she had kept telling me to keep it a secret so […]
It has been over 8 months since my last suicide attempt. I was finally some what a happy person, but now I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I know I’m a teenager and I’m obviously going to get upset but my suicidal thoughts have never been this bad. The pain that I feel inside is starting to become unbearable where I have started cutting myself with razors again. I thought if I started cutting again the pain would go away a little bit but shocker it didn’t. I bet we’ve all been here, thinking about life and how different it would be if we were gone, wondering if […]
I think it’s time.
Tomorrow should work. I have my old bottle of Maker’s Mark. Also have some oxycodones the wife didn’t take from her recent surgery. One last buzz on whiskey and pain killers. I’ll pass on the smokes, though. Don’t want to rouse suspicion from the neighbors. Rope is knotted and marked. I’ll just call into work, wait for the wife and daughter to leave, then go back home.
Tomorrow, I can finally give up.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
Why am I here on this planet? I hate being alive, I hate waking up each morning. Why am I here!? Why did God put me on this Earth? Why am I always so sad? I don’t deserve to be here, I’m an awful person. I’ve done nothing good so far in my life. I’ve only caused pain. Pain to the ones who care about me and love me. Why do I hurt the ones I love? I wish God would have given my healthy body to someone who is sick and dieing. They deserve it. I’m not doing anything good to my 16 year […]
People say suicide is selfish because of all the people it hurts. Well I want to know how those who care expecting me to endure the pain that is my life is not selfish on their part. Do they not believe the extent or severity of the pain in my life? There has to be a point that they understand I have no hope or will to live another and that without ending my life I am suffering far more than they will endure from my absence. This theory, or social convention, or whatever it is is bullshit. Suicide is my choice and if anyone […]
I wish I could literally just explode sometimes. People suck truly, we are stupid, naive, selfish beings. And there are people in this world that are aware they are like that and they are perfectly ok with it. I keep having dreams of my ex just these terrible dreams and I wake up feeling the pain from those dreams. There’s things that remind me of us, of him and it makes me angry and hurts me inside. I want so badly to be ok, im tired of the pain of feeling like death would be better than life. I don’t want the bad people in […]
I’ve already figured out how I’m going to do it, I’m just struggling on the when part. Is there ever a right time? I’d do it today but my daughters birthday is thursday. Should I wait till after? I just don’t know if I can bear the pain till then. I know the hold that a death anniversary holds on people so I’m trying to be considerate of that. But like I said, I don’t Know if I can bare to go through another day. I’m so done.
I can’t deal with my depression anymore.. I have started cutting again, and it is the only promise I can make myself anymore.. “If you get through this awful day, you can go home and carve yourself to your heart’s content..” While people may find that gross, it’s honestly the most truthful thing I’ve ever said to myself.. Cutting is an out for me. It helps me express my feelings, despite the fact that no one but me ever sees the cuts..
No one ever sees them because I am very sneaky about WHEN I cut. In the shower, in a bath, late at night […]