Autumn is here….the season where everything dies…. I love this time of year and I’m glad that this will be the last season I ever experience…its something soothing about watching nature die….the leaves fall…the grass turns tan…..the bugs die…..flowers wilt away…. seems like the perfect time to die….
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Perfect Time
I hate it when people tell me it will get better. Even if it did get better I would die in the end. It doesn’t matter who I am or what kind of person I am. In the end EVERYONE will DIE. Whether they want to or not. I hate how inevitable and mysterious death is. No one really knows what happens after death. I wish the people I love wouldn’t have to get old and die. I don’t wanna be old  either so I’d rather die young. Now is the perfect time before my life gets complicated and full of pain
My mind wanders all sorts of dark places. It’s like life is never going to change. The fear of death is only because your attached to something or someone. I have someone. I don’t fear death though. I learned that fear is just in your mind and it can go away. I can disappear and the world keeps spinning. My death will only define who I was. Although I want people to remember me as happy that would just be lying to themselves and that’s useless. I don’t really regret anything right now and I want to die in peace and I feel like this is the […]
The worst feeling is  knowing you can’t have something you’ve been wantiing so bad .. That one person when everything seems to be the perfect time  there’s always an excuse or another  girl that’s better .. Always.  The worst feeling is having to hide those cuts so no one could ever know.  It seems when things finally go right they take a turn for the worst no one hs stayed in my life for to long . It seems wenever I start talking to someone new to try and finally get over him they end up not talking to me again with no explanation  or […]
The first time I tried to kill myself was when I was eleven. Â My father was the only person I had in the world, and he had died in spring. Â I went to the school for advanced kids and we did a great deal of independent reading. Â I’d learned about hypothermia. Â I waited until a very cold winter day with feet upon feet of snow. Â I put on my turquoise fur coat, which was the nicest thing I had. Â I knew it would also make it look like an accident. Â I chose a perfect time at night and laid out in the snow.
Needless to say, […]
You’re sitting at your desk, and you know it’s time to go. You’ve said that to yourself over a million times, but this time you know, for sure, is real. You’re tired… you’re just so very tired. You’re parents pissed you off, like school wasn’t bad enough today. You go to get the rope, or the knife, or the gun or whatever you choose to use because you’re that desperate. You’re ready. You think of it as some game… the first one dead is the one who wins. No ones home, it’s the perfect time. You’re ready. If you don’t do it, you’re gonna look […]
This was posted on Tumblr but I felt like it was worth sharing on here:
You’re sitting at your desk, and you know it’s time to go. You’ve said that to yourself over a million times, but this time you know, for sure, is real. You’re tired… you’re just so very tired. You’re parents pissed you off, like school wasn’t bad enough today. You go to get the rope, or the knife, or the gun or whatever you choose to use because you’re that desperate. You’re ready. You think of it as some game… the first one dead is the one who wins. No ones home, […]
Hi all,
As Im approaching dreaded birthday tomorrow,I’m SO tempted to just end it all tomorrow night. I would do it tonight,but have to work:( I could just take off tomorrow after some sleep,check into a remote motel,and just let go…. I get so frustrated,esp. when my bitchy boss just sent me a nasty txt telling me not to be “negative” to the new nurse that Im training tonight. This is AFTER I spent all week letting her vent about her problems,taking time to help her with scheduling everybody,doing extra work,picking up overtime(granted I need it) and,oh yeah,just going over there and offering to do 4 […]