I am over 50 years old. I’ve thought about suicide since I was 13. I have made attempts to end my life more than a couple times. The thoughts, planning, and so on have been so much a part of my mentality, I believe it has become a bad habit, habitual though process. The last stint of actively engaging in therapy my goal was to get new thoughts. I’ve tried. Truly I have tried to get along in the land of the living. When I make an attempt to interact / communicate with my loved ones, I continue to fall short – and immediately go […]
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Permanent Solution
I’m thirteen. I’ve been a cutter since I was eleven. Today, I was going to commit suicide because I was tired of the constant pain and the drama with my family and friends and everything else. Only five people know I cut. My ex  and four of my friends. I told one of them this morning that it may be the last time they talk to me and that if there was anything they wanted me to know, to tell me now. They replied back with a three page text about what their life would be like without me. It got me really thinking. I paid […]
I can say alot about myself. I could tell you i’m happy and have wonderful days with wonderful people and everything’s going just wonderful. But that would be a lie. I’m not happy. Things and people aren’t wonderful. This isn’t a movie where the hopeless maiden gets saved by prince charming or something. No. That never happens and whoever told you that needs to get smacked in the face. At 6, i was mallested for 2 straight years. At 10, i was overweight. At 12/13, i had an eating disorder. At 14, i gave up my everything to a boy who never cared a thing […]
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