I’m not a serious person at all. The only time I am serious is in writing. I don’t understand how everyone can live knowing all their happiness is a delusion. It’s impossible for me. Funny how everyone tries to be something, something they think important, when it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you die today or in forty years, because some day everything will parish and it will be as if the human race, and everything else, never had even existed.
Tag:
person
I finished the message that I will send to a person
I’ve only spoken to her once, I found her through an article
She wrote about living off-grid in Nebraska
The ground shakes, I will send it today and hope, for the spirit
I will send her my short-summary that took me three-days to write
I asked her for her oracle for the order
Liz, don’t take my words personally if even anything, I was just busting
To the tune that I will hope to one-day sing to, from vast-eon-ago
Every-time, every-time, celestial, when I take a hit, the Earth trembles harder
If I make-it, […]
Don’t tell your talent to anyone until you become very successful person, they will keep an evil eye on your talent and they will destroy your talent. I was very talented/creative person created so many video games, art, pencil sketches, poems but I was not allowed to tell what I was doing. So everyone thought I was very dumb . I had the talent to become best student of my university but I end up being a dumb alone person who was blacklisted from college.When I realized it was very stupid advice, it was too late. Now I have lost all the interest in […]
I wanted to start over in life when i got out of high school but now i noticed i cant wait that long. If i want something i must fight for it, i cant just give up so easily. So today I’ve decided to put my life first for it is more important then getting messed up over things..im going to forget everything, today i am a new person no more crying, no more cutting or hurting myself…high school is where you make memories and thats what im going to do, im going to be myself and not being depressed or down. Its time for […]
A disclaimer to the world.
I really don’t belong. There’s no conceivable place on this planet where I belong.
The public is my enemy. If you put someone in front of me, I’ll do everything in my power to disregard them, including not-disregarding them. My mask is so genuine that it even deceives myself half the time, such is the cost of being able to blend into society, and avoid being a homeless bum the rest of my pitiful existence (of which will continue to be a pitiful existence, bum or not, however bums are publicly pitiful, which is why I’m willing to throw myself away most […]
I don’t know what to do I try and explain how I’m feeling to friends and they just say your fine. But I don’t feel fine. Most people see me and a nice funny smart person and wouldent think I’m depressed but I can’t eat I throw up the meal a day I way I can’t sleep . I don’t get it I need help but no one seems to care I honestly lost the thing that kept me going but what do I have now a family that honestly doesn’t care for me I don’t know what to do anymore I haven’t eaten for […]
I have to tell someone before I go – see, the world has been draining of color for a while now, all the blood seeping out like snow melting on the ground…and today I saw something. It whispered in my ear to go. There was a person smiling in the orange rock by the window, and then he was gone. He had jumped to the top of the pine tree overlooking the hotel, he was waving, waving madly, his face so faint that the wind could erase it.
This reality is a lie, it’s a sham, – I have to go to the Kalahari desert before the […]
I just feel numb and cold. My skin feels tight and i feel like i’m suffocating. Why am I here? What am i suppose to be doing? My head feels heavy trying to figure out what path i should follow. What is Life suppose to be like? i should want what other people do right? Family, Love, Success? But i don’t. It doesn’t lift this heaviness in my chest that feel everyday. it feels suffocating to me. That can’t be all there is to life. I feel like i was born in the wrong time. Maybe i should have never existed and should be wiped […]
I’ve dealt with a lot of trauma and terror in my life, and there was only one thing that kept me remotely sane… A love for one person.
I grew up with very limited options and fewer trusting individuals. Everything I was taught in the educational system were lies, especially on moral standards. Even my family disowned me the moment I was raped…
But one person stuck around when I needed them most… and then they decided I wasn’t good enough to be with them…
They lied to me, leading me on making me believe that there was ever a chance between us, only to find he never […]
Its going on two years. Living with chronic pain. I
Tired to commit suicide. By over dos an cutting my wrist. But. I ended in a mental hospital for a few weeks. Im 25. I have a spine injury, kidney problems ulcer from being on pain meds. An just had an organ removed. I just found out I have a mass on my ovaries. I truly just want to die. Feel no more pain. My boyfriend of 6 years left me because I cant be sexual. The only person that matters to me passed. I told my doctors after two years of […]
Hello,
Thanks for taking the time to read this post. I have been thinking about shame and guilt. What I’ve noticed so far that I have done some terrible things in my life as a result of shame. I have intense suicidal thoughts due to shame. Shame, meaning I am a bad person and guilt meaning I have bad behaviors.
At times, I think people use shame and guilt interchangeably, which is detrimental to someone who struggles with mental illness. I have a lot of shame. I am shameful of my ethnic background, I am shameful of my behaviors and people I’ve hurt. There’s several things wrong […]
Em,
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. We need that one person who is always their for us even when it seems like everything we’ve done should turn them against us. And I know you didn’t do much except send out an encouraging text now and then, but you were that person. You were the one who kept me going for this long, who kept me able to get up each morning to face the day. Granted, there were many times when i wanted to die and i could hardly pull myself to my feet and all i could do was lay there, praying for […]
Hi, i’m back here. Again. I was watching TV and I saw somebody who made me feel bad. It made me think about a person I used to know, somebody I stopped seeing. A “friend”. Yeah, you know those friends you hang out with because you’re too young and too insecure to think by yourself and to trust yourself. This person who hangs out with you because you’re enough hopeless and in a shitty state that you make her/him feel better about her/his own person. To be clear, I do not miss that person at all. She’s a complete wreck with all the pride only […]
Espero que não exista uma regra por não escrever em inglês. Eu consigo até ler inglês, mas não consigo escrever.
Sumir, desaparecer ou morrer, estes são os meus desejos no momento. Sabe, eu estou cansada de tentar e sempre dar errado.. de não conseguir pedir ajuda e quando pedir.. a pessoa vem com 7 pedras na mão.
É muito fácil julgar alguém porque está sofrendo com seus problemas por mais “simples” que ele seja, pode até ser simples pra você, mas para a pessoa que está sentindo é a pior coisa do mundo.. é tão difícil entender isso?
Sinceramente eu não sei mais o que fazer e cada dia que […]
I am mad! Mad at my depression that interrupted my life, caused heartache and hurts. Separated me from my family for my emotional safety. I am mad at the counseling I had that went no where because I didn’t understand my emotional state of mind, 20 years later!
Over the years I had counseling, but they said counseling wasn’t about dredging up your past, it’s about moving forward! But if the unresolved thoughts and feelings aren’t examined, it IS what I needed/need.
I tell you I am also mad about how many people are affected this way- family of origin does harm and leaves the child to heal […]
I read the posts here and I feel so sad. So many people, so much sadness. I wish I could give each and every person a hug.
Let me say this… YOU are the most important person in your life. Please provide yourself with loving words, loving actions and hold on.
Take great care of you.
I am about to turn 25 years old and for most of my adult life I have tried to find a reason to not kill myself. I never have been happy for multiple reasons, which I’ll list below. It’s going to sound like I’m whining or complaining about my life, but my hatred for my own life (as well as myself as a person) runs so deep that when someone asks me what I like about myself I honestly can’t answer the question. Five years ago I actually tried to kill myself, and I have no idea how I lived through that attempt. Anyway, here’s […]
A lot of the time I project a facade of intelligence, I’ve been told I write well, that I can be eloquent and articulate at times, but I’m actually genuinely stupid. Math and anything pertaining to basic logic is beyond my comprehension, like I’ve literally failed Algebra twice in a row and I still don’t get it, I don’t understand much about math beyond arithmetic at all. Complex subjects that require thoughtful analysis and ability to make sense of information are beyond me, I struggle to understand anything when it’s not spelled out to me, and even then I still don’t get it. I’ve been […]
Life has been on the skids for some time, but I always gave what mother called”good face”. I had a name, a good reputation, a person people asked advice or leaned on for support. Recently my significant other and i were arguing, (been living together for 10 years). She decided to try some Tough Love and kick me out. She hoped this would shock me into listening to her, and doing what she wanted, and then I would be told I could stay. She called my elderly father, who drove over and proceeded to convince him I was mentally ill and had emotional problems. Meanwhile […]
I think life is really beautiful, but I’m really depressed. There is so much crap going on in the world right now, and yet, there is an equal number of good things. Watching the news makes me think about why life is even important. But beautiful moments like a person saving another person by sacrificing his or her life, or a new wonderful scientific discovery, makes me think that maybe, humanity is not completely lost. Maybe there is hope.