I honestly don’t know where to begin. I know this isn’t where I thought I would be, at 34. Writing an anonymous blog about how the scope of my life suddenly seems meaningless.  I’m tired of smiling on the outside when I’m crying on the inside. I’m tired of helping people through all their misery and pain, yet they forget to help me when I’m in need. I’m tired of work, and the stress it has caused me — but I’ve gone too far. I’m too accomplished that leaving would cause all the would-be supporters to clamor, “you’re such an idiot for throwing away your career.” […]
Tag:
Pillar
The last four years, since turning 50, has been an ever ending series of bad decisions, failed marriage, financial ruin and more recently poor physical health. These events have taken its toll on my wellbeing and mental capacity to move forward, and notwithstanding the niggling doubt that I am about to embark on my final ‘bad decision’, I have come to the cold realization that it is time to depart this mortal sod.  I spent most of the last year isolating myself from friends and colleagues, not in an antisocial manner, but rather spinning a web of stories as a way detachment not to […]
Dress me from the bottom
Work you’re way up high
And look at me
Look me in the eyes
See my past
See my pain
See my actions
As I wane
I want to forget
Forget it all
As I tumble
as I fall
Now look at me
All around
How do I look?
Do I look down?
Of course I don’t!
I faked for you
I don’t lie
This is true
Look at the mirror
Just turn your head
See me now?
See me dead?
That’s not the future
That is now….Inside me
That’s what I am
That’s what you made me be
Whatever I do
Whatever I say
I do […]