I hate my doctor at the therapy. He really thinks he understands me completely. Actually he doesn’t. He was like, when you feel you need to cut, go to your therapists or your parents. Could you make that promiss with me? He really doesn’t understand. I tried to explain, but still he doesn’t understand that I’m too scared to do that, and that I’m in a kind of trance when I cut. It’s really frustrating when people think they understand you, but actually they don’t.
Promiss
All my hope is gone… The little bit hope I had is gone. I really don’t think my life is ever going to be better. I’m fighting for more than 12 years now to get a better life where I can be real happy with, not fake happy. But in those 12 years, my life only got worse and worse… People say that when life is really terrible, it only could go better. Well, NO, it only can get worser!! (At least in my life) I wish I wasn’t on this earth anymore. I just want to die…. But I’m under controle right now. I […]
Okay, so I posted a post two days ago. That I was a little bit proud on myself that I kept my promiss to myself so far on. That promiss was that I had to write a post at least once a day. I maked that promiss because I can never hold on something for a long time. But that whole feeling of a little bit proud is totally gone, because yesterday I didn’t wrote a post. Just because I couldn’t encourage myself to write a post. Also today I almost couldn’t encourage myself, but I really pushed myself because writing on this website is […]
At may this year had a boyfriend ( I am a 19 year old bisexual female) who was pro poly-amory, before I knew it I was having a party on MDMA kissing 2 friends of my boyfriend and the girl of one of those friends. I started a sexual relationship with the 2 friends and the girl ( I had my boyfriend as well) which was pretty awesome. Sometimes one on one, sometimes threesomes… foursomes… fivesomes… After four weeks he broke up with me because I was too clingy. My subconscious tells me he just thought I was too fat, ugly and stupid, but he […]