Okay, so I posted a post two days ago. That I was a little bit proud on myself that I kept my promiss to myself so far on. That promiss was that I had to write a post at least once a day. I maked that promiss because I can never hold on something for a long time. But that whole feeling of a little bit proud is totally gone, because yesterday I didn’t wrote a post. Just because I couldn’t encourage myself to write a post. Also today I almost couldn’t encourage myself, but I really pushed myself because writing on this website is really good for me. It’s also very late, never write a post on this time. It’s now 01:50 am (I live in The Netherlands). I’m really disappointed in myself, I just can’t hold on to something 🙁 Every day I do less than before. It just get worse. A few weeks ago, I could go normally outside and go ti the supermarket or so, and now I’m not going anymore. Because I will totally freak out when I’m at the supermarket (or somewehere else). Also I don’t want to go outside, just afraid of all the things that COULD happen. I’m only going downhill, and the therapy I have just don’t work enough. All of this shit is just so frustrating, getting tired of this shit. Why couldn’t I be just a normal person with no big issues and problems?
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
Hey. Glad to hear that you’re sticking to making a post every day. If you don’t feel like writing a new post, you can always respond to someone else’s post. That should still count. Also, its easy to become paranoid about all of the things that could happen when you go out. Now that I think about it, I could get killed in a car crash everyday that I go to work, but its a risk that I have to take I guess. I try to avoid going out at night, because that’s when the drunk drivers are out.
@Dave_N,
Thank you for your (really quick) comment. You are right, I guess. But about the things that could happen going outside, I don’t really mean accidents like a car accident, but more things like I get followed (while I’m not) and that people would hurt me or do something to me, or I would do sonething to myself. More that kind of things. May I say that I think you always give very good comments and advice to people? I really appreciate that. You comment on a lot of post and always give really good advice. Please, don’t stop with it!! I think you help a lot of people with your comments 🙂