First let me star off by saying that I am not planning on committing suicide right now. I just do not want to get to that point. I do not know how to express what I am feeling, but I will try to the best of my ability to describe it. I just feel lost, I do not want to do anything anymore. I do not want to move anymore, but I do not want to stay still. I want to live, but I do not want to keep trying to endure this suffering. I have a good family and great friends, just my views are different from theirs and everyone else’s so they cannot understand me. I have tried multiple hobbies but none of them entertain me anymore. The one thing that I truly love, nature, is kept away from me due to severe asthma and allergies. I recently graduated high school so I lost my laptop and with it the programs I used for graphic design which was one of my favorite hobbies. Most of my friends I’ve known since elementary school are going to different colleges. I also recently lost my job. I believe all of this has made this feeling worst and brought me to this point. I just do not know what to do anymore. I keep telling myself things will get better but it’s time for me to come back to reality. I also fail to see the purpose of life. Why am I even trying to endure all this time in a realm of death and hatred? I do not know what to do, I feel like I’ve reached the end of the line. I know what I should do to end all of this, but I’m fighting to find a reason not to. I’m sorry for rambling on so much, I’m just lost. If you read all of this gibberish I appreciate it. Thank you.
Purpose Of Life
A bit of personal history: I was once a top student in my Primary school and was subsequently admitted to a Secondary school of repute. I can say that this is the heyday of my life. Things starts to get sour in my third year and confidence in my ability seemed to drain away when I failed consistently to score despite all my efforts. No matter how hard I try, I just could not get it. It is the feeling of ‘I worked so hard but got so little while others have it made for them with brighter minds. It is so unfair that anyone should have a worse genetic makeup than others’. I too wasÂ wrecked with the question of ‘what is my purpose?’ and since then, i have been trying to find an answer. It got worse when i entered High School and after reading Rousseau’s ‘A Discourse on Inequality’, a dreaded sense of futility set in. Now it seems that not only that my endevors will be futile, but also that the whole human society in all its pursuits (happiness, power, glory, honour, etc) are futile. I am now a student in college doing a course in the Arts (failing badly, failed 8 courses) and still i do not have the slightly answer to the question ‘What is my purpose?’
Thus my questions to all:
1. What is your purpose in life? How do you go about finding it? Does this sense of purpose lose its momentum often and slowly fades to nothing?
2. What is the purpose of life in general? What keeps you going on despite the futility of life?
Being alive meaning constently trying to satisfy our desires and gratifications never lasts , forcing us are back into trying to fullfill them again, an everlasting circle of futility. I believe that all that which humans desire can be reduced to happiness. People may desire glory but fundamentally, glory brings great joy. People may crave power and control but essentialy, power and control grants enormous happiness. However happiness is transient and fleeting, snowflasks in the suns.
3. Do you believe in Free-Will? Do you think that you have control of your life, able to direct it in this direction or that?
I believe that determinism is at work not only in the sciences, but also in human lifes. A casues B, B causes C, so on and so forth. Everything has a cause.
‘I am drinking water’ is caused by ‘I have the desire to drink water’ which is caused by ‘My grogginess’ which is caused by ‘lack of sleep’ which is caused by….etc. A single event is caused by a single or many factors that precedes the event and these factors themselves are again caused by other factors that precedes them. So if we continue following this path of causation into the past, everything that is happening now is already determined by the creation of this world. This means that our future has already been written even before we are born. You are who your are because of your genes. You are who you are because of the ways you are raised. You are who you are because of the various experiences you have. Where does free-will come in?
Since the future has already been written, where is our free will?!
I would greatly appreciate it if you could post your answers to these questions and share your experiences. It would be a great help to me and i am sure, to many of the souls wandering the gloom as well. Thankyou.
I’m not sure if I’m depressed.
I can laugh and joke sometimes…
But I’m always sad.
I don’t know what’s the purpose of life.
Everyone fits in a certain category,
and me… I’m just floating around.
I can’t see my future.
What should I study in my second year of University?
What career is right for me?
I don’t have the answer,
and so does the people around me…
because I’m not good at anything.
I’m not sure if I’m depressed.
Should I get help?
Or am I justÂ overreacting?
Maybe I just want an excuse for my behaviour…
So many times, i have wondered, what is the meaning of life?Â
Is it to be happy?
To find love?
To make a difference?
To experience new things?
Because I’m already 15 and felt like I’ve wasted a quarter of my life.Â
So much pressure is put on exceling in academics, but what’s the point?Â It feels as if everyday, the only purpose of life is to do well in every test in order to get a good job.Â It’s as if our lives are based soley on how well to do academically, and when we fail in academics, the repercussions are horrible.
The disappointment from the family…the judgement from the teachers and friends and the personal devastation.Â Why couldn’t i be born in a society where there was less emphasis placed on academics?Â
I just want to be happy.
Is that really too much to ask?
I read the other posts on this website, and realise that others face such different problems to me.Â Â I feel so alone, so scared.
Am i the only one?Â I just can’t take all this pressure anymore.Â For once in my life i just want to let go and not care about what anyone says.Â I want to relax and not have to do anything.Â But I can’t, because I have 2 assignments due tomorrow and 2 exams next week.Â Always the same routine.Â
Help me.Â Please?
I’m a 24 year old man who has had breasts (gynecomastia) since I was 10.
My health has been slowly deteriorating and have many un-diagnosed health problems.
I’ll probably be dead by 30 due to these ‘natural’ causes.
I was born into poverty to foolish parents and no family support.
At this point in life, I tend to focus on the negatives in every person and thing.
My depression makes me want to help others who are also feeling depressed because I know how horrible it is.
Your life is valuable, so don’t throw it away when you can use it to help other people, which is the purpose of life in my opinion.
Since we will all die a non-suicide death at some point, please don’t do it, use your time alive to change something in the world.
hi every one last nigth I seriously concidered to suicide intil I started chaking and my heart beging to beat so fast and I was horified by tbe idea and still is,well my name is mohamed and I am from morroco,I used to be a muslim but I am not anymore because my fucking fother intreduced the idea to me when I was 18 and I don’t know to thank him or blame the mother fucker for that because he is living happy and carless of what is going on in the this fucking world(politics,wars,greed of the human) now I am 25 I belive that since I was intreduced to the idea I was in deniel (stages of greef,in the cases of life changing maters) but last year I really beging to think and anylise all that shit and start browsing youtube videos for athiesem and psychologie and what we are and how the human beings works “feeling and holps and purpose of life” and what I found that the humans we are like machins we are just hormons and electricity and we have no real control or free will because we can be easely controled so I despite. the human species now and this hol life I don’t want to live to work or eat or to fuck some chik or even love because I hade my appearence dreamgirl when I was in highschool then I hade my caracter dreamgirl after that and I wonder what ellse is ther maybe some girl with caracter and appearence then what? live happelu ever after and have kids and work in the systeme(wake up in the morning go to work get payed get suplies eat fuck have a shit go to sleep,i wont even be abel to raise my kids what an animal behaiver!!) I am so depressed and its have been months sins I went out the house,meet a friend or have some fun,I am opsesed with this ideas and can’t think of anything elss,fother,youtube what have you done to me,I miss the days wen I belived I was fearless,happy,and full of life and now this hol life seems like a lie like I am living in the “matrix” what the fuck the tv have done to me this western cultur realy fucked me up and I have no one to talk to,because no one I think would understand and I wont do that to them if they are happy why scrue them up? even my fother I wouldn’t do that to him even he did it to because he is a sample man first generation of athiesem and I am the second??! what the fuck I am talking about? but this sharing thing realy take my mind off the dark things! maybe lonelyness and isolation what is doin this to me,maybe I need to get envolve in life again? get friend, have sex(yeh I am a vegin by choice because I lost the urge to get entiment with someone since its just a hormonse and a survivel shit to do.oooh that feeling of fear and stress is massing with me and I feel like to throwup,well I am going to try to sleep it off now and if any one can help me please do because I don’t have any one to talk with about this,and I am concedering to see a psychic pardend my english and thanks for reading this and please responde even if just a “hi” bye
i tried to hang myself when i was like 8 or 9 with a jump rope. i was 13 when i took like 8 different bottles of pills. both attempts didnt work, obviously, but i still have horrible nightmares of past experiences and some weird memories of abuse are coming back to me. i wonder if im going crazy and making stuff up (im 17)… i admit that i’d rather be alright and have had a life where NOTHING bad has happened and everything is perfect but im wondering if im not a psychological hypochondriac..the memories are so vivid though. i can remember feelings, and certain smells or textures will trigger memories to come flying back. sometimes i wonder what is the purpose of life when the only requisite is death. i honestly cannot come up with a long term reason to live. i honestly am not living because i WANT TO. im doing it because everytime im staring down the resource officer’s holster at school, or the bottles of bleach and ammonia in the pantry, or submersing myself in bathwater on a sunday night wondering if i should resurface, i think about who it will affect. i dont know how long it will take me to run out of people to live for. can selflessness last a lifetime?