Its been a while. Well not as long as for some people.I have heard stories of some people who have been tacking depression for 10 years, 15 years and I used to think to myself that there was no way I had the strength for that shit. Here I am , about 6 months into severe depression and it looks like this aint gonna go on for too long. Â I even started reading depressing books. People would say that this is the worst time for it. But honestly, reading books about good people being screwed over makes me feel like I have company. Like Im […]
Tag:
reading
The light at the end blew out.
And now I’ve had it, just about.
If anyone is reading this please know,
That it wasn’t your doing that made me go.
i fought with myself for all of 2 seconds before posting this.
I feel morally corrupt for even doing this but here goes. I found a new site called Lost All Hope. its lostallhope.com.
its supposed to have methods, stats, links and all that good stuff.
I felt like if i posted that here, I’d be giving people the fuel they need to do what they want to do and that it would be all my fault. But i also know how desperate I get when I get in those moods and how I wish someone could point me in that direction. I may or may […]
Hi all.
I am new to this (TSP).
Since yesterday  have been in my room in front of my laptop searching, reading, and hoping. Wanting more than anything to find the solution to what I have always wanted: to die. For a few hours I thought I had found the way out. Twelve hours later, more reading and planning shattered my plans. I thought that finally I would have a successful suicide. Now I am desperate and frantically searching for another way to end my life.
As I write this, I am looking at my cat explore my desk. She makes me smile. She may be the only […]
As you can see I’m still here.I’m doing worser than I was the last time I came on.On the bright side right now when I was trying to get the razor outta the shave thingy I cut the shit out of my thumb!!Talk about bleeding,not In the mode to cut anymore.Does anyone even care??Is anyone even reading this??If SP had followers would I even have edleast five followers??Nope.I “never” have nothing Important to say.Who the fuck Is Carlos??Am I the only one who says there name on here??See what I mean,nothing Important.Dude I’m just another face feeding these uglys out here,why you think I’m up […]
please, anyone here that is even suicidal or slightly suicidal, or even not, or just needing someone to talk to, please send me an email. I want to be a friend to you and to try to offer you advice for a blessed life. I am not so old or wise, just 22, but I am pained at reading so many of these posts and I have it in me to be encouraging. I am not acting like I am some kind of suicide hotline but I know those hotlines cannot help to fill the void. please give me an opportunity to encourage you and be […]
please, anyone here that is even suicidal or slightly suicidal, or even not, or just needing someone to talk to, please send me an email. I want to be a friend to you and to try to offer you advice for a blessed life. I am not so old or wise, just 22, but I am pained at reading so many of these posts and I have it in me to be encouraging. I am not acting like I am some kind of suicide hotline but I know those hotlines cannot help to fill the void. please give me an opportunity to encourage you and be […]
Nice to meet you. Or really, everyone on Suicide Project. I have been reading several stories for the past few days, and… I love this place. It’s a place where we suicidals can tell what is going on in our dark, lonely, minds. We suffer mentally, really. We are doing so much wrong, but it feels do damn comfortable. Well, this sounds like quite a thing you guys have here. I’m Poison. This world has me going mad; to the extent of cutting my own damned skin! Anyone else really tired and sick of society’s crap? Cause then you are welcomed to be my friend. […]
I am sick of reading about promising outlooks for treatment.  I have been suffering from MDD/ TRD for too long. I’ve been on multiple combinations of meds for too many years nothing…..at least 40 different meds. I have had 19 ECT treatments ( with a lot of memory issues).  I’m sick of people not understanding.  I’m sick of running to appts.  Therapy….behavioral therapy…..psychiatrist….  Not to mention all of the rest.  I’m sick of fighting, crying, anger.  I just want my life over!  So many positive thing out there for help when I’m reading literature. Or trials so far away some simple person couldn’t even […]
I’ve thought about it many times, especially those sleepless nights, the drum beating inside the dark recess of my mind.
After the first attempt of 12 pills, then 24 pills, I decided to wake up and attend college both times I woke up from those failures.
I’ve been reading up a lot about Buddhism and about reincarnation or rebirth, and I was wondering and contemplated.
With everything that I’ve been through, and for me to cut my life short thinking that hell would probably be a better place to be in I realized, if I cop out now I’ll probably have to go through this entire experience again, […]
My emotions are like waves, threatening to overtake me at one moment, and then soft, serene..At peace with everything the next..
Experiencing this is incredibly hard and makes me feel crazy, but I don’t know that I’d change it. We who experience depression and the more difficult of strong feelings also have the chance to experience the other side.
It’s hard to read what I write during times of distress. It’s hard reading what you all write during times of distress.
It’s hard knowing that some people don’t know what happiness feels like. It’s hard forgetting what it feels like yourself..
What would help? Maybe it’s something different for […]
it wouldn’t surprise me if we all had some sort of implants in our head, or trackers or something…it seems like I’m always being watched.
I bet there’s someone whose job it is to monitor me, and they’re reading this. Hello friendly monitor, how’s it going?
the only thing multiple overdoses, slicing my body to shreds And smacking my head against walls has done is bring negativity. any problems of insecurity I had have gotten worse from the amount of scars I have and the vomiting has fucked my body shape. the overdosing has made me get sick often and feel “not all there”.
not only is my physical body suffering from that but my soul is to. The more you lose the battle the more of yourself you lose… And all I can say is from the time I’ve spent reading, meditating.. this isn’t as bad as it gets.. I can […]
1. Try to fit in. If successful, hooray. Skip the rest of this manual and have a wonderful damned life.
2. If you don’t fit in, try harder.
3. If you come to the realization that you can’t fit in, that you are flawed or damaged, or even more astutely if you realize that the world itself is flawed and damaged beyond your ability to tolerate it, then pull up a seat and read the rest of this manual.
4. Convince yourself that you are the problem. This certainly won’t fix anything, nor will it make your life any more bearable, but it may distract you enough to […]
I have been sitting here reading your posts and I want to break down and weep for all of you. I wish I could give each of you a hug and tell you how much I care and how my heart breaks over the pain you feel. I don’t know you, but I love you. You are worthy of love and you are worthy of life. You are worth it. I understand how difficult life can be, I have attempted suicide, but I have learned to love myself, so can you. It seems like no one is there to listen, but I am here. If […]
I managed to get the pdf/word file of ‘The Peaceful Pill’. I’ve just begun reading it, but it attracts my interest already. It concerns the way I wanna go, in detail. Hopfully it’ll provide me the missing information that I hadn’t been able to get by talking to people on various forums. Now I’m at the part where the phenomenon of suicide is explicated, in general. I’m really hoping I’ll get the answers to my questions in my head.
I’m leaving not for a few days im leaving forever i can’t handle this obviously i was a mistake if i can’t feel happiness by the time you have read this im dead no takebacks i know but life would be so much easier without me bye world if your my friend and your reading this please don’t get upset don’t waste your tears over someone like me personally i don’t want to die but it’s the only way for me to remain happy it’s like my life is frozen in this one dark spot that i can’t get out of im only 11 […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Georgia_Mass_Choir_-_The_Best_of_My_Story.mp3
where can I go where there is nowhere to go to who can I talk to who isn’t already playing what can I do when they have everything laid out and planned for me already wtf can i get my shock now can I get my whatever the hell they gone give me now I don’t care anymore commit me, kill me, anything is better than submitting. I don’t believe andi don’t have to I lost enough of my soul and I don’t care who don’t believe me: who I am, what I am supposed to be idont care who believes me or not […]
What do you expect from a delinquant. I am not fucking insane even if I want to be. It would explain everything that has happened along the way with me, but all I really am is stupid and delusional and just a total crackhead. I wish I was brave enough to take my own life. Maybe someday I will be,but all that I want now is to be stong enough to die, to throw myself under a car or cut my wrists or just take a bunch of pills and never look back. I may have found the perfect way but the […]
Off to the Wacky Shack in an hour, good bye to all you beauts and thank you!
by Shootyhoops
written by Shootyhoops
Pretty soon i’m gonna get sent from my doc’s office to a “long term intensive care unit”. Looked it up and it seems like the loony bin which I guess is where I belong. Guess I should explain why I am in this predicament. Two weeks ago I got home from a party where some things had gone badly, read the posts here of course looking for comfort that never comes, as we all do. After reading it was about 4 in the morning so I just figured now is as good a time as any and I slit my wrists (heavily fucked up on […]