Yeah, I want to end my life as well. My reasons are  arm long.  I was rape at eighteen years on the day of my eighteen birthday party by my boyfriend at the time. The same boyfriend would push me against the wall, and grab my wrist with a scary look on his face. ( I left him but he help with my own emo feelings. ) The next year was my senior year. I lost MOST of my friends because one of something STUPID. I learn I had most fake friends then real friends. No one would believe me about the rape. , but […]
I have read some of these posts and I identify with you all and I truly feel for you all. Many of these posts mention regretful and hurtful actions committed in the past. But what if you haven’t done any of these things and still continue to suffer daily? What if you are the guy who got straight A’s? What if you are the guy who is always loyal and decent to everyone? What if you have never done any drugs? What if are 31 years old and have never had one real friend? What if you live a completely healthy lifestyle, but continue to […]
Are any of you in a situation in which most of your friends/peers are completely unaware of your depressive and suicidal tendencies? Have you ever gotten that feeling of disconnection that results from knowing that the person across from you, whom you may have known for almost your entire life, is still so fundamentally isolated from an aspect of your personality that consumes you everyday? As if nobody out there actually knows you? Almost like the social creature you’ve sustained over the years is some sort of agent dispatched by you to maintain the facade - Whilst the real you is still at home, under those sheets, constantly asking questions.
Everyone stares at me, i can’t breath. put on a smiling face but nothing is real, i feel hollow and empty everyday. I dont know if i can take this lie anymore.
When i was 13 i was raped, i dropped out after that.
nobody knows why i stopped going to school… the depression just got to be too much. i tried to kill myself and thats when my mother stopped pestering me everyday about getting on the bus, then this year… i thought my life got better. my depression wasnt so bad, so i tried to get back in school, they gave me the option to […]
I do not know why it is that I deteriorated so quickly. It just happened. It’s just happening. Taking it day by day was supposed to help, and for a brief while there, I went without thinking about ending life. By brief while, I mean one day. That’s a start. I do not know whether or not it will be enough to save me. I keep going to back to what the real solution is, but for some reason I refuse to oblige. I refuse to save myself, and it is honestly incredibly stupid. I do not know why I do not want myself to […]
Both seem equally deadly so I’m not sure if it matters. But for what it’s worth I think I’d rather be surrounded by people who don’t care. At least that way I can’t hate them for being hypocrites. Like the trees and birds and stars that don’t give a shit about me, I’m fine with them. But I can’t stand all the self-serving phonies who constantly tell me they care but conveniently disappear when things get real.
We have ‘friends’ but we’re all alone. Look next to you. What is there? An animal? A stuffed toy? A jornal? A living being? No. Log into your ‘Facebook’ or another social media. You have friends, followers, and others. They say “We’ll catch you if you fall!” but will they? Are they real? We are all alone. Just accept it. We have friends they are not real. They only use you. If you have a true friend make them prove it. Make them prove that it’s not just you. Say your having a bad day. All of the pressure of you wanting to end your […]
I feel like, i’m the only one that feels like he’s being tested.
I feel like, this world is so absurdly fucked up, how could this be the real thing?
How can we expect to ever live in TRUE peace and harmony, if this world is a result of humans putting their heads together?
How can this world/life/dimension or whatever, be possibly real?
I’m no religious fella, or floaty supernatural type, Â but if this is it then i really, really hope there’s life after death.
Because how can a person that has “woken up” freely waddle carelessly through all these working slaves we see as people?
I’m not sure if i’m […]
Well today was a terrible day. Started off good enough, I felt real for the first time in a while although I’m still hearing what people say repeating in my head, idk what that is, but anyway, I told a joke in school, a joke I won’t talk about but I’ll just say it got taken out of context, and of course the dean of students or whatever the hell you call him and now I’m going to have to deal with this shit. Of course it’s on the fist day I feel real and am starting to wish to continue on this happens. Fuck […]
So hi, I’m 13. I know that probably sounds young but whatever. Â I’m depressed, I self harm, and am bulimic. I’m attempted to kill myself many times- always getting interrupted my psycho parents who are abusive. I only have one real friend and he is my boyfriend. I love him so much but I feel like he likes other girls… he’s depressed and self harms also. he helps me live. he gives me the courage to keep going. without him I would be gone. I just feel like he likes other girls now… and when I was going to commit a while ago all he […]
I am screwing up my life for no reason. I just feel like the way I was living was not getting me anywhere, so I decided to drop college and live my life on the road. But I am so fucking scared. I need someone to do this with me. Because if I continue living this life, in which I have to be always high to get trough a day, I will go mad. My life right now doesn’t make me wanna do better. I don’t need happiness. In fact, I kinda want to be miserable, because I am too scared that I really messed […]
it’s an interesting genre of music, but this is my favorite song within it.
As a sufferer of bad GAD and social anxiety, having to ride the bus out to college was extremely stressful and at times distressing as my anxiety would flare up real bad. But this song helped me at least enjoy the view out the window in the early morning with the sun painting the sky a brilliant orange. Unless it was winter. Then the sky was shitty and black.
Lol, well, I hope you at least enjoy this song.
Ive posted again and again on here and have not yet managed to kill myself.I know im running out of time.Something more tragic is coming if i dont commit and succeed at suicide.Like me being homeless.I wish i could just run in front of a car and get it over with but i freeze.Ive tried dehydrating myself and overdose.Apart of me is afraid of succeeding just cause i dont know what is after this.What if i come back to this earth.what if hell is real and ive got to look forward to demons poking at me with knives in a dugeon for the rest of […]
all this may not be real. sometimes all this doesn’t feel real. i was always living a funny kind of life. like how can this be serious. i was always like, “Man! i am living life! the same life as all those great persons like Buddha, Hitler, Nietzsche lived. the same life as every other big and small person has lived in all the history.” and i used to be overwhelmed by this thought. i was like, “man! i can’t dare waste it”. but instead of pressure it always made me laugh at my life, it always brought me into jolly mood. like, “wow, that’s […]
Lord, please me get through the night!
I start to see a new way, everything seems okay now, but right when things seem fine….my world comes crashing down around me and i cant stand the weight of everything thats happening , i just want things to be better and be able to be happy on my own is that to much to ask? like for real…. i hate depression with a burning passion i want to kill it. make it go away please …………….
. . . if I knew you all in real life, I would totally make you guys some really good food 🙂
I’m not falling for the hoax
This sick twisted joke
Nothing is real
Except the emptiness that I feel
Keep the stories to yourself
As you file my memory on the shelf
I won’t let my conscience get in the way
Before I let the silence take me away
people ask me why i spend my time on the internet
they think that it is quite useless
but to me it is not
because here i feel loved and i feel like i am worth it
out there in the scary real world people hate you
they will find anything to bring you down
but here people love you and care for you
out there its a battlefield with everyone turned on you
shooting you with insults making you bruise so easily
here people heal these things and make them go away
why do i spend my time here
because its better in here […]
the raven colored hair
falls upon her smooth face
the once warm and inviting eyes
are now shedding tears
dripping dropping ever so quickly
pittering pattering in her lap
as she curls up in a ball
wanting so badly to die and go
she opens up her mouth
and sighs ever so silently
she goes to speak to tell the world
but the room is dark and silent
will anyone hear her silent pleas
alas they will not because
she will mask them and hide them
hides her tears from the world
puts on a fake smile to mask her frown
looks down when passing […]