Tag:
Reflections
I feel so unsure about my life at the moment and I don’t know why.
I don’t know what to do after school and I am generally unsure about myself.
I am a 17, soon 18, year old male and I feel pretty much useless at the moment.
I have a great family and I don’t want to hurt them. I know that suicide will hurt them a lot because my uncle did it not too long ago…
I have never seen my grand parents so sad as they were after that. I just can’t stand the thought of doing that to my parents.
But at […]
I was in a large city on a sunny day. It was warm, but there was a cool breeze. I was walking through the park with someone I loved and saw a flower. It was beautiful and I said, “Wait here.” I went to pick it for her and as I pulled up the flower the ground beneath me shattered like glass. I fell into a pit. The pit was obsidian lined with black diamond. It was round and polished so that I could see the surface in the reflections on the walls. I saw the people I cared about shake their heads and walk […]
“We Only Arrive At Ourselves In A Freely Chosen Death” Jean Améry
by Bodhisattva
written by Bodhisattva
“I have tried to view it from the interior of those who call themselves suicidal or suicidesâ€.
( Words from Jean Améry )
I just wanted to recommend this book which i know will be of interest to many of you,
I have found it quite difficult & frustrating to find serious, intelligent & quality critiques or books on other point’s of view about Suicide & this subject overall, as all i keep becoming drowned in is only the fucking Utilitarianism & Christian Inspired Philosophy which is very annoying & frustrating,
Anyway i hope some of you will check it […]
I had my first suicidal thoughts last December… Triggering factor? Have no idea. At first it was just ideas like «i think it would be much better if i was going far far away». After, reflections on life, death, suffering… images of death… images of my death in dreams… and… after… images of my death when im awake, when i watch a movie, when i laugh to a good joke with friends… i see myself everywhere dying… for over a month now…. I see myself hanging by a rope in the corner of my office… or injecting myself a high dose of morphin, which i […]
I am all alone in this mysterious world.I know almost nothing about my life,myself or the world around me.I’m really lost in the darkness of my great ignorance.I don’t know much about myself either.I can’t understand the workings of my own mind.It seems as though I am myself part of the mystery of existence and life.I am so helpless and lonely.The god of this enigmatic universe manipulates and controls all aspects of my life.He controls the innermost parts of my mind.I’m like a toy in his powerful hands.And death is getting closer and closer to me.My life smells of death.My body is so mortal that […]