I’m hopefully going to end it tonight. I’ve felt unhappy and alone for many years and while I’ve coped for as long as I have its gradually gotten worse and I just can’t deal with it anymore. My only regret is the pain I’ll cause my family and the few friends I have by doing this, I don’t expect them to respect my decision some of them will even think I’m selfish and a coward but if refusing to continue to live in misery to keep them happy is selfish then so be it.
Tag:
regret
Even that you never stayed away from me, there was always the fear that you commit fraud to my love. And now I realize that my heart deserves an explanation. I do not regret doubting, questioning your loyalty and even the way you look. And now the bitter future is me, I’ll be always there; cause well, I do not want to miss you.
I’m done. Had all I can take. No one understands how mentally destroyed I am..
I haven’t smiled in weeks…. Maybe months
I just can’t take it. It feels like my heart is literally ripping itself apart.
I don’t care if I’ll regret this decision, I JUST WANT OUT..
I’m sorry…
this is my end..
Our eyes met,
and for some reason I just couldn’t resist you,
I fell fast and so did you.
But then the sweet words you called me turned sour,
the touching wasn’t so gentle anymore,
you left bruises and scars,
but somehow it felt better to go through this pain with you,
than without.
I never believed in God,
but I started praying for death,
hoping some greater power could take me out of this misery.
Your mean words became my reality,
and my bruises you left on my body never healed,
they were permanent.
I left you, with swollen eyes and a heavy heart,
never knowing if I would find someone that would make me so miserably happy.
I’m 27 and male, never had a girlfriend, don’t have any friends, don’t have a purpose and everything that I seem to give up on everything I start at the first sign of hardship. When I pick out something to do, I always think i could be doing something better. I have problems deciding. I constantly feel unloved and don’t know how to heal that without the help of others. I feel that this is partially the fault of reversed gender roles with mom being the silent more rigid one and dad being the very caring person and sometimes overaccomodating. When it looks like I will be […]
Well. Let’s face the facts babe.
you’re dead . cold.
softly floating in your blood. your eyes popped out of your skull like they were trying to reach out and strangle me.
and i finanlly undrerstood what had happened. i was not shaken.
i completely regognized the act of brutal savagery that was before my own eyes.
it did not strike fear into my heart.
only regret.the sting of regret that you didnt die slower.
that broke my heart. if i had one.
I hate the moment when a decision becomes a regret.
I kept telling myself that everything would work out. Â But there comes a point where you can’t lie to yourself anymore. I feel like I’ve dug myself a hole that’s too deep. All the little things that IÂ tried to overlook are surfacing. I can’t reason with myself anymore, I can only see the negative.
It’s suffocating.
Here’s a great chillout piece for everyone. Enjoy, have a drink and relax. 🙂
Check out the video text:
With every sunrise, another day of our lives, begins
With every sunset, another day, is lost
Life is short, so every once in while
Break the rules; Forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile
Growing old is compulsory, but growing up isn’t
Life might not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here
Let’s dance.
I stare up from my casket where they lay me to rest
I watch my family as they place roses on my chest
In a blurred second i experienced all the joy they gave to me
I do regret the rest of their lives that I won’t get to see
Please friends and family, dry all your tears
I will always be with you, so please have no fears
I hear them say how they never saw it comin’
how I was so happy,and they wish they could’ve done somethin’
I still remember all the pain I had inside
all the hopelessness, sadness, and anger […]
Doomed from birth.  Where is the justice in life?
And it’s not about karma there is no karma. I know so because I am one of life’s “freaks”. If I had a past life, I had the same essence, the same personality I have now. Otherwise I’d be a totally different person. I am an innocent creature. Never was a bully. Never was even clever or strong enough to figure out how to bully the bullies. But god made me a freak anyway.
Maybe god prefers the freaks.
http://www.thehumanmarvels.com/
I don’t believe in heaven but if I did- these people deserve to be there more than anybody. And if I were […]
I lay in bed at night thinking of all the words I didn’t say. All the should of and could of’s all followed by didn’t. All these words swimming in my head. The thoughts that never end. Regret fills the voids of this life unlived. A never ending circle of constant reminders that I am nothing
I start out each day
All brand new
With a smile on my face
And my head held high
I socialize
I laugh at jokes
And I even give advice
But somehow my day
Always ends with a wet face.
I don’t know how to control it.
It keeps creeping right on back
It’s like a tickle in my throat
It keeps pestering me
Until the attention is given.
I don’t know how to deal with this nonsense
I think I may go insane
I just need […]
Time is ticking away on my deadline because I’m going damn near insane. Yet I make every excuse to stick around and to hope for things to get better. What a fucking waste. I’m at a point where I satisfied with dying. I still don’t feel like I don’t have much to live for and I’m wasting away (it feels like it). I can sense the slight frustration my mom is having with my unemployment (it’s been a ***** to find a job). Two degrees + debt = biggest waste and regret of my fucking life. I understand her in everyway. I turned and looked […]
Imagine this:
You come home from another shit day at school. The bullying, the classes you’re failing, the loneliness. You’re sick of everything. You walk into the lounge room and slump onto your couch. Your little brother sits happily next to you, smiling at the cartoons on the TV. He turns around and asks how your day at school went. You say everything was ‘fine’. Blatant lie. He says that’s good and goes back to watching cartoons. You lean over to his cheek and give him a kiss. He turns to you again and says “What was that for?†You smile and say I love […]
It’s 12:01 am. The sweat on my neck causes my hair to stick to the back of my neck. I’m lying in bed. I’m lying to myself. I tell myself that I’m ok. That things will get better. Just give it time. But how much Time? Time is a valuable thing to me. I only have so much of it.
It’s now 12:05 am. I wasted 4 precious minutes typing. 4 minutes ill never get back…
Now it’s 12:10. I’ve been writing for 9 minutes. And yet I feel no better. As a writer shouldn’t this make me happy? If not, at least a tad bit […]
Im 19, A few years after I was Born my parents divorced and my mom and I moved away from the big city to a smaller city not to far. The divorced didnt effect me much because I was so young but it showed in my mother and she began to drink a lot.
by the time I was in grade 3 I was very unhappy with life, There was rarely any food to eat in the house and I was in a very abusive relationship with my mother. I was regularly running away from home and staying with my grandmother who lived in the same […]
I was physically abused by my brother until I was 16 and left home. I admitted it to my parents, with whom I have always been very close with 3 years ago.
They claim to believe me. The claim to back me up. But after my last suicide attempt, after 3 days in 4 points in the ICU, when sent to the psych ward..they promised me certain things.
You see I uprooted my entire life on the West Coast to move back to the Midwest and help care for my sick father. He’s very young, only 65. But has a host of degenerative diseases. I went from […]
maybe i should have killed myself when i had the chance, when i was ready to die, when i had nothing to loose.. that probably would have been the right thing to do.. but of course.. i make yet ANOTHER wrong fucking goddamn decision. fuck it. fuck this. fuck everyone. fuck me. FUCK LIFE. could honestly punch a hole in my fucking goddamn fucking wall for fucking chirsts sake.
I have always been a fun happy productive person, but this is so bad I want to die
by Karma44
written by Karma44
I had to start over after the recession. I moved to a new city and started a new life. Put the past behind me. Created a new me. Found the job of my dreams! Everything was going better than I ever expected.
Then it all came crashing down. I became best of friends with a coworker who had recently moved there too. We grew closer and closer. Her supervisor got jealous and scared her and turned her against me. They teamed up and got me fired. I never did anything wrong. I am a […]
The recession destroyed life as I new it. Having been laid off 3 times in 2 years, I left my home and started over in a new town. The first 10 months were a struggle to survive, and then it finally paid off. I landed my dream job. Still alone in this new place 800 miles from friends and family, I made the mistake of befriending a female co-worker. She approached me a couple of weeks after we both started working at the same company. She had moved to the same town with a boyfriend of 7 years and they had broken up. She was […]