I guess I’m back. Last time I was here I was in high school. Now I’m in my second year of college and not one thing has changed. My uncle, his wife, and his son came down for the 4th this week. I haven’t seen them in 3 years. I hardly know them. They never come around. Well none of that matters. Just a minute ago my Grandmother told me that my uncle said I was “Anti-social”. It hurt. I tried to talk. I gave my best. They think I’m weird, but weird is good to me. I lost all my friends from high school […]
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Well this is a long story, but to sum it up, I am truly giving up on life. Trust me the answer isn’t 42, it’s not happiness or sadness. And the dragoon from final fantasy 9 has a dam good point! Being forgotten and alone is worse than death. After all when your dead you know that you no longer know that your hated, and are left with nothing right? Maybe I’ll be in some grave, maybe I’ll be with god. No matter the case be, I’m pretty dam sure I won’t be in the pain I am feeling now. Ok now for my life […]
So let me just start by saying, I hate myself. I have for a long time (almost 7 years). I’m 16 (almost 17) and male.
Just about everyday i’m told about how i need to get a job and get a liscence and get a car. I spend all my time in my room, on the internet because there i can do what i want without getting picked on. My whole school life people have made fun of me. In primary school i didnt give a shit. But in highschool, with 4 times the people (and people from other grades) picking on me and making […]
Today my cousin and I were on the swings at an old elementary school. I was listening to music when we closed our eyes to swing back and forth. My cousin later asked me what depression felt like and I told him if he remembered what it was like to close his eyes on the swing. How you never knew how high you were, and it didn’t matter because you always felt the same. That’s what depression is like. No matter how high you are you’ll always feel close to the ground. Falling backwards.
Well, I am going to write about what has occurred in my life; when my depression started etcetera. I don’t really care if someone reads this or not, I just really need to write it down. I was in a abusive friendship with a girl who lived 3 doors down from my house. I met her when I 3 years old and stayed best friends with her for 10 years. I know what you are thinking. An abusive friendship from the ages of 3-13? Well this “friendship” contained of me feeling like complete and utter crap 24/7 because of the friend mentally destroying me (intensely I […]
Im a femake,20yrs old ive tried to commit suicide all throughout my life since i was about 9 …growing up here i was made fun of for being fat and not speaking English….as a 9 yr old it sukd… i grew out of it n blended in a lil around jr high… but still i was made fun of for being fat… as i started highschool noone really cares about that anymore. .. but wen i was 16 i had my first bf .. he fuckd my hole wold up he would beat me… he would rape me… alot of times with his anger management […]
I didn’t ask for any of this. I was born and my path was thrust upon me. I am not looking for your approval or sympathy because I simply no longer give a fuck. I hate people. I started out as a kid does; Innocent and gullible. I didn’t realize that I would be despised by family and friends for recieving gifts that I DID NOT ask for. I don’t believe in evolution but I am not religious in any manner. I was probably the MOST DEPRESSED PERSON on this site a few years ago. I have been here a while… I hate life and […]
It’s all too fucking much for me…I seem to fail at everything.
I failed in school and high school
I’ve failed in love
I’ve failed at sports
I’ve failed to achieve a normal social life
I’ve failed to continue my musical career because of being a pathetic,self-hating idiot
I’ve failed as a son
I’m only a financial burden on my family,who’s still keeping my useless ass in high school,and for what?I’ll just end up working at a McDonalds for minimum salary and spend all my money on drugs.I know I’ll just disappoint them,like I do with everyone…
I disappointed them when they found out about my mental problems…They wanted a normal son,not this […]
Hey guys, it’s been a while. Just thought I’d update about my shitty life.
Well, the night before the last day of school was…interesting. I know I had tried to kill myself in the past. Multiple times. But this time…I could feel it. I felt calm. I felt ready. My head was clear and my decision had been made…My rents were out in the garage doing whatever and I was inside alone. I grabbed a total of 63 aspirin (I know probably could have grabbed something better) and downed at least 13 or 14 of them. I had made sure to read the bottle and it […]
Hey everyone. I’m 24 years old, currently in grad school. I lead a relatively comfortable life except for a few cases of domestic violence (from family and partners) and a sexual harassment experience. I work, and I volunteer, and I have a few hobbies I enjoy.
But something I’ve been feeling lately leaves me hopeless, stuck, and miserable.
I’m working at an internship I hate. I thought I’d like it but I hate being in front of a computer for eight hours a day. The thought of working hard through college and grad school to just sit at a desk for the rest of my life sounds […]
hello. I’m kaelyn. I’m 15. this is the part of my story that isn’t so great but i figured that I need to start somewhere.
my parents were 18 when I was born. they weren’t together. I want born into a freakishly religious family. I am not religious at all.
anyways.
I think that the bad thoughts (hurting myself, wanting to die) began around age 8. my mom had a boyfriend who lived with us and my sister was 4. my mom worked all the time. her boyfriend was very abusive. one of the last things i witnessed him do was hold my mom in the air and […]
I was born into a family that had an over-bearing, over abusive dickwad for a “father”. He would beat the crap out of my for not having all A+’s simply because those were his grades in school. Seriously. My mother would just stand there and let me beat me, scream at me, tell me how im worthless and nobody will ever love me. Yeah, she would just stand there. She said she never did anything is because she “cant afford to support us without his paycheck”. Yeah. And he never hit my sisters, maybe once or twice their whole life.
School wasn’t any better. I was […]
so, here is my story. back 2012, i moved school so i could be a more dedicated student and stuff, but what i actually did was study like a slave for 14 hours or more. i also had all my teachers saying “how are you going to enter a university? you need to study harder” and that’s what i did. i stopped doing everything i loved, i stopped watching movies, reading books that weren’t from school, texting or calling friends, or even hanging out with friends, i also stopped listening to music (yes somehow i managed to do that) and taking pictures of myself). my […]
I dont know what to do with myself. My mother told me i failed every class of my sophmore year, that im a failure, stupid, a waist of time, that im on the right way of being homeless. She tells me i cant go to summer school cause she doesnt want to waist her time and that i have to get a job to help myself from now on. I live right down from my school, about one hour walk. I can do it myself. I dont need her to help me. She said i dont get a second chance so i say”But thats the […]
I’m sixteen and just recently got caught shoplifting. I’m so stupid. I have one of the highest gpas in my school, play a varsity sport, and successfully take the hardest APs at my school but I threw everything away with this one mistake. My parents blame themselves when it’s all my fault not theirs. They barely make enough to support our family yet I selfishly cost them more so that I can get an attorney in hopes that this won’t remain on my record. If this stays on my record I don’t have any chance of going anywhere in life and all that stress and […]
Hello, before I begin I’d like to say thank you for taking your time reading this. It’s a long story and I’m afraid that there will be more negative elements than good but I’m working on that. I’ve come here for a last attempt for finding hope, as I have lost mine. Maybe writing my story there will be someone out there who really understands. But I must warn you, this is a cautionary tale so please keep an open mind. I really need some help with being completely overwhelmed. What would you do? Â
Where do you begin when you decide writing your life […]
I have had everything given to me and I screwed it all up…..I have a bad habit of smoking pot and hookah
My parents provided me with everything and my habits, along with a habit of stealing got me in a lot of legal trouble
I got into legal trouble in 2001 and was arrested for a felony, but the prosecutor was nice enough to knock it down to a misdemeanor
I got into medical school in 2004….got kicked out a year later for smoking pot and getting caught for stealing a wifi connector from the computer lab in the med school and shoplifting at a store….again it […]
I really should be studying for my history exam but I can’t seem to stop thinking about suicide. I don’t know what to do ,I’ve been like this for so long. I’m scared of my own mind , I’m afraid of what I’m capable of. I’m only 14 by the way. I just feel horrible about myself , I try so hard in everything I do but it’s always not enough for some people. I push everyone away from me I’m so isolated in my own little world. School gets out Friday . I guess I made it through my freshmen year. I wasn’t at […]
I used to be a lively person. I remember it vividly when I was younger I was always happy when asked about where would I be when I’m older and those similar questions. It was the downfall of me when I failed the entrance exam into the most prestigious high school in my town. I always had a high expectation strolling right behind me and my parents. I expected myself to be able to do just about anything I could imagine of doing.
But reality hits me rock-hard. I wasn’t accepted into the school that my sister went to. My parents claimed that they’re okay with the […]
To all of the ass holes, the miscreants and the filth out there sounding the earth I’m done, I don’t need to be hear anymore. You along with many other things have pushed me to the edge then when I’m grasping on to the cliff for dear life you stomp on my hands, I hqve things to tell you before I am gone, I’m sick and tiers of your comments and your judgements, all If your discrimination and lies, I AM GAY, I AM A NERD, And you know what YOUR AN ASSHOLE. if you think you can judge people because they like someone of […]