Tag:

screaming

You killed the last bit of hope I had, son of a *****.

by Isabella 10/13/2014

written by Isabella

I don’t know if I’m more mad at him or myself for finally trusting so quickly. Being so naive. Every last bit of my insides are screaming at me. “You’re stupid! You shouldn’t have trusted another human being!”

The basis of what happened? I let this guy in. I met him here at college, confided in him. Showed him my scars. He kissed them. I thought he was growing to care for me. It happened. He got in my pants. He had his way with me and I wanted it too. I believed he would stay when it was all over.

He didn’t. I was damaged as […]

10/13/2014 4 comments

This is it?

by lonerhero 10/11/2014

written by lonerhero

My life, in a run down, boring, memory encasing, hell hole, will soon be over. My friends greater than anyone before are taking me out of this place. I’ve lost so many people here, my family, lovers, and some great friends but now I can see it coming to a close. I can’t wait to say Fuck this place, and now go live, have a new beginning. My arm is messed up and my head and body are screaming for this now. I know this is a beginning to something better. I love you, my family, I love you Cristina, I love my friends here, […]

10/11/2014 1 comment

first time

by 1298 10/3/2014

written by 1298

this house is just terrible, and there’s screaming and tension and she’s leaving cause i’m worthless

but anyway for the FIRST TIME
i don’t care. and i think i believe in a future without this

we’ll see.

10/3/2014 0 comment

want to die so badly it physically hurts

by 45caliberdeath 10/2/2014

written by 45caliberdeath

All of my problems are emotional/mental. I want to be dead so badly. But I can’t because I’m afraid that some dumbass doctor will “save”/torture me by making me a quadriplegic or a vegetable or something.

I’m so fucking desperate to die. It PHYSICALLY hurts. It’s ALL I think about. But several million years of evolution and my fear of messing up is keeping me here, screaming at my rational and moral brain to not kill myself. Base instincts and fear…

10/2/2014 4 comments

blank

by neh 10/2/2014

written by neh

To have thought that I would ever ever be understood. Even by those closest to me. All those times that I keep allowing people to lead, to take decisions, to be unreasonable when things are not ok with them- not for once will it be reciprocated. It is a myth that people understand people, it is a myth that people are so close that they ‘get’ one another. No one understands anyone. That is the truth. One single truth. And everyone is there for themselves, convincing you how right they are, defeating you with their logic. At that time it does not matter how many […]

10/2/2014 3 comments

everyday is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same is the same

by death bunny 9/30/2014

written by death bunny

i’m stuck between the floor and the ceiling in my room, surrounded by the ghosts of my past. some say mean things, some are crying and some don’t speak at all. but i can see them. one is standing by the door, blocking my way out. he never speaks. one is lying on the floor dead drunk. one is standing behind me. he split his head so he could whisper to both of my ears.
one is crying in the corner. one is screaming. one is sleeping. one is tearing up my paintings. one is burning up my poems.
none intend to stop.

i go to […]

9/30/2014 6 comments

everyone saw that coming, but everyone was blind…

by death bunny 9/28/2014

written by death bunny

A child that has been mentally bullied and raped may fall into depression. Who would’ve thunk that? Well, apparently no one.

My mom was there. I called her to come and help me but she didn’t do anything. Why didn’t you do anything? You could have saved me then and you could have saved me now.
You too, big brother. You’ve been there in your room, ignoring the screaming, turning your music up so you don’t have to do anything.
Dad, you’re excused. You were at the office all day. That’s not the best way to raise a child but you had to make some income, […]

9/28/2014 0 comment

pet peeve

by ritualmusic 9/24/2014

written by ritualmusic

Can I just say, I am so fucking tired of people telling me “if you’re depressed then change it”.

THANK YOU!

That is such a revelation! I’m better now! I had no idea that I was perpetuating my own misery for 26 years of life!

People think they’re helping when all they’re doing is making things worse. I don’t complain at the time because really, I’m thankful for anyone even wanting to help or have a minute amount of care for my well-being but inside I’m screaming.

I know I’m not alone. I know at least one of you out there can identify […]

9/24/2014 9 comments

Suicide is not abnormal, exactly

by Not typical 8/26/2014

written by Not typical

It doesn’t seem like such a bad thing now. I thought it was. It is not. Suicide is still an option. Not a crazy one. So many other people feel the same way. I don’t feel like it is a bad thing any more. I felt ashamed for it. I probably won’t go screaming it from the roof tops, but it is not abnormal, exactly. Why are so many opposed? The same people that think about it themselves? I have heard that it is selfish. Maybe they just haven’t felt what I feel, what I’ve felt before.

8/26/2014 0 comment

I’m just waiting for it to be over

by swinglifeaway 8/9/2014

written by swinglifeaway

For 5 years I’ve been depressed. That’s a long time. And thinking that it’s all over and I’m finally feeling better about everything in life is only a joke. My 18th birthday comes and no one in my family remembers. I blow out the candles alone and make my wish. Then just one day later, my parents tell me they are divorcing.. constant yelling and screaming. All I can do is collapse on the ground in tears. I’m completely alone now. My parents arnt there. My family is broken. My depression is back. I struggle to hold back anger. Anger at myself. Anger at God […]

8/9/2014 4 comments

Earth died screaming

by Stargazer 8/8/2014

written by Stargazer

This is what I imagine in my head. Every single day. This is why I can’t smile. Is it wrong that sometimes this is the only thing that makes me happy? That one day humanity will cease. What is wrong with me?

8/8/2014 0 comment

another day

by awkward2680 8/1/2014

written by awkward2680

You know how sometime you wake up thinking for once it might actually be a decent day maybe even a good day. You have that unusual glimmer of hope. I got about 30 seconds of that. Most of my friends would say “its no big deal. So what your mom and her boyfriend got in a fight.” Back when i was little my parents fought all the time you’d think i’d be used to it. Especially the way my dad was. Strong with an uncontrollable temper and a jealous mind. In all honest that just makes it all worse. I wasn’t exactly “planned.” Im the […]

8/1/2014 7 comments

The night is coming

by misanthrope 8/1/2014

written by misanthrope

Unknown,unremarkable,underground
She use to shine,now abyss
Soul killing loneliness
The desolation of the condemned
Even in this desert she canot love herself
The end is coming,but first she must burn
The ecstasy of love now a stabbing memory
You got your chance,you did not hold him close
Youve ruined everything you ever loved
Your disregard,your demands
Youre a killer,a destroyer
So many conversations,you told your story
So many times that it seemed true
You keep forgetting the lie is still inside you
It squirms,it sickens,it must be let out
Kicking and screaming,no graceful exit
Explosive decompression
Theres nothing left to burn,nor bury
Youre a casualty of yourself
Pulled apart,you must wait here alone
Night is coming and I promise you sleep
Night is coming

8/1/2014 1 comment

something ill never understand.

by Procel 7/30/2014

written by Procel

Why do people insist on celebrating the day you were pulled, kicking and screaming out of your mother, so much so that they do it every year. Why do we have to celebrate another year alive. Another year of underachieving and mistakes. Instead of moving forward with life i go backwards since last year. And this year its worse. Another year… Fuck it. Promised i wouldn’t ever see this birthday. Another promise gone…

7/30/2014 1 comment

thoughts

by thelostgirl1499 7/28/2014

written by thelostgirl1499

These thoughts in my head are horrible.

I’m so scared,it’s not even the fact im having suicidal thoughts,its the fact that nobody can hrlp me and that this time they’re scaring me.

They’re winning.

For the first time in a long time.

What do i do?i dont feel in control i just keep screaming and crying,i cant eat and im struggling to stand for long periods of time..

I dont want too go,not yet..but i might have too.

7/28/2014 18 comments

everyone has a tragic story don’t they?

by gem723 7/23/2014

written by gem723

Just like everyone else i guess i have a heartbreaking terrible life story that everyone should feel bad for me for. There’s always someone who will have it worse, who will have it better, who will be poorer, who will be richer, who will be worse off, who will be prettier, uglier, smarter, dumber, funnier, the list that goes on and on. were all different but one of the few things we all have in common are that we want to be heard, to be noticed, and to be loved. thats why most of us are on here. so here it goes:

as far as things […]

7/23/2014 9 comments

Kill the monster inside me.

by aimsxox 7/19/2014

written by aimsxox

I dont really know where to start with this… some peoples stories start off with them being abused or something but i can’t really pinpoint as to how i ever felt like this. I was bullied when i was 10 and up until secondary school for various things but i thought i had coped with all that. When i was 13 i first self harmed, and I’ve told my story so many times and it still sounds stupid every single time. I remember the very first time I hurt myself and my oh my it felt so good. I won’t go into details as to […]

7/19/2014 2 comments

Survival one night at a time

by Dollycutter 7/19/2014

written by Dollycutter

I made it through the night,

Even though my ghosts were screaming at me and so was the baby.

Even though I listened to the voice inside rant and rave about all my flaws until sleep surrounded me.

Even though I cried until there was nothing left.

Even though my dreams brought misery instead of release.

Even though that knife sang to me a song of salvation.

Even though there was no one here to stop me if I’d tried.

7/19/2014 2 comments

Scared of my own self

by Saveme1993 7/15/2014

written by Saveme1993

How do you fear your own mind?

Your own actions?

Your own feelings?

I have no control

I just feel and think terrible things unwillingly.

Help

I want to scream

I want to Cry

I’m just scared

Everything I do to help me hurts other people.

I don’t want anyone else to feel this way.

I just don’t want to either.

Can anyone hear me.

I feel like im screaming in room filled with people but no one can hear me!

Im right here.

It hurts. I’m scared

I DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS

IT ISNT MY CHOICE
PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

I’m not crazy !

I’m not a freak

I’m Scared !

Why wont anyone listen?

Why Am I alone ?

Why don’t you care?

7/15/2014 1 comment

People Around Me

by BoyofChagrin 7/13/2014

written by BoyofChagrin

I hate school, its one of the worst places. The people in my high school are idiots, they’re oblivious. Then again I’m too afraid to talk to others. I don’t mind learning but when I have to sit in rooms with people around me that don’t even see passed to door of the classroom, with lives so shallow my foot wouldn’t even be covered if I stepped in. It disgusts me, I find learning very easy, which is unfortunate because it just gives me more time to sit and think as if I don’t do it enough at home. I feel like a shell and […]

7/13/2014 3 comments

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