I’m sitting here at 4 in the morning because I’m in too much emotional pain to sleep. I can’t stand being myself. I care too much for my best friend. I don’t understand it. I think I love her as more than a friend, even though we are the same gender. I have to force myself to support her when she tells me that she wants to be with a guy. I have to sit and pretend she isn’t sleeping with someone else. I have to pretend I don’t love her because it would ruin our friendship. But I love this person so much. I care […]
Tag:
Selfish Person
I dont cry. I really dont. I didnt cry when my cousin spread rumors about me, when the girls would push me down stairs and the boys would slam me against lockers, when someone who i thought was a friend back stabbed me, when someone who used to be my friend literally spit in my face, when nobody cared. I only cry for 2 things: the death of a loved one and romantic/sad movies(yeah i know dumb reason to cry but hey im human). I used to cry myself to sleep every night when i was younger but i promised myself never again. I refused […]
After doing a lot of research trying to help myself, i came to the conclusion that maybe i just need to start talking to anyone. I came across this website and thought an unbiased opinion might help. I’m going to try to summarize everything that’s been weighing heavily on me so please bare with me because i could use a strangers ears to listen. I have never wanted to be an unhappy person, even writing this right now feels somewhat like a cop out to me because im unable to handle it all on my own. The very beginning of my life started out in […]
I think I want the world to end.
I want the whole Mayan calender 12/21/12 thing to be true.
If the world does end then, that’s a week before my 17th.
I can’t ever imagine myself being older that I am now, is that a sign?
I feel so selfish for wanting the world to end.
But that is what I want.
I want to wake up one day but not wake up the next.
But I can’t do it for myself.
Because that would destroy my family.
Also, I’m far too stubborn to give up on life.
It makes me laugh that my stubbornness is basically what’s keeping me alive.
What does that say about […]
This is weird for me because I’ve never done anything like this, but this seems like the only thing I have to run to. I want to kill myself, plain and simple. I’m tired of living. I feel worthless and like a waste of space. I hate everything about me. I’m a selfish person and I only care about myself. I hurt everyone around me with my unhappiness. I’m seeing a therapist for anxiety but it doesn’t seem like its working because the pain always come back. I’m so sick of feeling dead inside. Everyday I think of suicide but I don’t have the guts. […]
I want to die. I don’t understand why, but I am getting so close. I am only 16 year old… but in the past year I have completely fell apart mentally. Starving, vomiting, cutting. Flashbacks, tears, pain. I’m so tired of it. I am in counseling but I don’t want to open up. I can’t open up. I’ve really tried, but it’s so painful. My parents didn’t care until they were forced to. I don’t talk at home. The last few months I have been trying to hold on for everyone who loves me. I am trying, trying so hard to focus on that. No […]