Well, I finally found my first relationship, at the age of 26. It really did help me to find peace. It’s actually been really nice to have the first time in my life, and I mean this entirely literally, that I didn’t think about suicide every single day. It slowly drifted back, a little, but only just barely, and only just a few time every couple of weeks or so. It hasn’t been terrible. I have realized some things, that I had already considered, but I am far too old a soul for all these senseless children. My boyfriend, and just for the sake of […]
Tag:
Shit Storm
Well this is basically an update of how i’ve been and where i’m at in life. I have turned 15 and my depression is eh more or less better, it isn’t as constant as before and now it’s more of a few days a week or so. My mother has found out i self-harmed and has told my doctor which created a huge shit storm that included me talking to a social worker and seeing a psychologist. Well i saw this psychologist and it was not what i thought it would be. She was very nice and fairly young and i went once a week for […]
Fuck. My life has never been worse. I mean, there have been and are really shitty things in my life. Things I can’t control. But it has got to the point where I can’t see a way out anymore.
I realise that I have a lot to live for. My family really needs me, as do my friends. They all love me. I am  trying really hard to keep up my academic side. I was actually focusing on that when the shit storm hit.
I had a boyfriend. Fuck that is depressing having to write that in the past tense. People say stupid shit like ‘Oh yeah, […]
It’s been one big shit storm the past few months, with the past few weeks bringing more pain than I could bare. I botched an attempt two weeks ago which landed me in the hospital. As a result I have lost my apartment, my health insurance, my disability and my sanity. At almost 6 months pregnant my only options are to depend on my mentally unstable grandmother for assistance, and a “mother” who has her own life sort out. The pain, and uphill battle are too much to bare at this point, and I have checked into a hotel this evening with my helium materials […]