Its 2 weeks after my 2nd suicide attempt i found the deepest artery in the middle of my arm it was like an inch or 2 deep and an artery below your thumb. also took 20 d10s to thin my blood. my gf called an ambulance i sent her a text apologising for my selfishness also wrote a suicide note i thought id be dead b4 she read the text it takes lonher than you think. Was kapt in an psychiatric hospital until i was seen by a pysycyatrist they siad im bi polar and split personality disorder i signed myself out have been put […]
Does anybody else think of jumping in front of a train every time you hear the sound of it or see it?
Think of jumping in front of every moving car? Crashing your car? Lying down in the freeway?
Think of jumping off every high height you see?
Think of stabbing yourself?
Think of hanging yourself?
Triggered into suicidal thoughts through anything you could possibly hurt yourself with?
Want to get a gun and shoot yourself and be gone forever?
How about every time an ambulance goes by, you think, why that person and not me? I want to die. Give me some way out, please.
Think of drowning and suffocating and water […]
Tomorrow is the day. I’m sitting here making a mental note of the final things I need to do. I’ve taken out the trash, I’ll finish the laundry in the morning. I’ve set my phone to send out Fathers Day messages automatically. The refrigerator is empty except cases of water and some lemons. I wanted to have all these documents shredded but didn’t get around to it guess I’ll pack them up and shoot an email to my attorney that he should collect them and properly dispose. I wanted to donate my body to science but they don’t accept suicides. I still need to write […]
When it gets so intense I’m always back again.When I was 15 I did an art piece depicting a face expressing pain. Their eyes clenched tightly and mouth arched viciously downwards as if all was lost. I’ve come to the conclusion that it is the intensity of what I feel that drives me mad and soon to sadness. This idea unintentionally danced through my painting as I realised the inspiration was an image of Lleyton Hewitt winning his first and only grand slam. Ironic huh? Being the bell of the ball and the crazy bipolar ***** whimpering away in her room. And I don’t mean […]
I’m so alone. i never want to be around anybody. i literally want to shoot myself in the face right now, because Im already fucked up and i might as well end it all. i dont want to be alive and literally no one loves me. and i dont love myself. or anyone else except my dad. but seriously, ready to end it all man.
if someone gave me a gun right now, i wouldn’t even hesitate to shoot myself.
I’ve started outlining my memoir. Finally, I’ve gotten going on this and I didn’t have to quit my job or quit school to do it. I’ll just add a little bit to the memoir project every day until it’s done. When it’s done… Then I’m going to get all my loved ones to hate me (so that killing myself will be that much easier). And when I’ve accomplished that, then I can shoot myself without having to think twice and thankfully, the memoir/very long suicide note will be there to explain my behavior.
I’ve lost you and have thus, lost the only person I used to really matter to. How […]
Yesterday I was told by my last close friend that her mom doesn’t want me coming over to her house anymore and I don’t know why its like she doesn’t trust me. Right now I just don’t know what to do because all my other friends have gone of to varsity and I’m just at home feeling like a piece of crap. My parents aren’t paying as much attention to what’s going on with me as they should because I’m really losing it. I want to just shoot my self in the head and just end this misery because I’m literally dying inside…I have no-one…everyone […]
I want to feel I’m punishing myself, I feel like this since I was teenage. looking for the most painful methods, hate life, hate myself, planning attempting.
I want to shoot the point between my breasts, aim to my heart, I could shoot my stomach first just for pain. if I didnt die, I’d shoot my heart.
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