it all started in 6th grade. i was bullied, my grandpa died, and other stupid stuff. im now in 8th grade, and i have strongly considered suicide around 11 times. couldnt God give me a break?!!?!?!? im only 14!!!!!!!!!! when your heart just feels so overwhelmed that you cant bare it any longer. i put a smile on my face everyday at school. thats just not something you want people to go around knowing. i got two really close friends. i just always felt guilty, them thinking they knew me, but they didn’t at all. they thought i was always happy and bubbly. guilt built up inside […]
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Smile On My Face
i drag myself from my bed, from the warmth of my room, from the safty of my house. and go to what i call my living hell. i pull up. park my car take a deep breath and put a fake smile on my face. all i think is i dont belong in the day light. i walk through the halls full of liers and perverts, bullies and bitches and think to myself. i cant wait for college.
walking down the hall. my music blasting.. i look up.. and see your eyes.. the eyes that i used to love. and now every time i look into […]
The simplified version is just that i hate myself. I hate myself completely with no room for positive. I’ve tried going to get help, but i end up shutting them out. I am a despicable human being. With no purpose in life. I’m not contributing anything to this planet, my family, or anyone else’s life. I can’t look in the mirror anymore. I have no friends because i don’t and wont trust anybody. I’ve never known love only rejection. I only seem to piss people off when I am around. It seems to me that everyones’ life that i have come in contact with would […]
I hate school like i can honestly say i do except for my math teacher she is amazing. I havent been going and my mom gets pissed at me for not going but she doesnt understand that i feel like one of the “out crowd” kids cause i am over weight and ive never actually got called fat well i have but its like in one of those “funny” ways well they think its funny and i just put a smile on my face and act like its nothing but it hurts really bad. Ive told my mom but she thinks its all bull […]
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