Loneliness aches… and has slowly, over time chipped away at me. Now I find myself here, maybe just out of curiosity, or maybe just desperation. There are many people worse off than myself, many in this very community, but right now, from my narrow, blinkered and selfish viewpoint; I’ve never been lower, lonelier, sadder or felt so forgettable. I was passionate about things once upon a time, now I’m just cold, bitter, heartless, and full of deep disappointment by how this life has played out. Yet I let this life turn this way, I watched everyone leave, while I stubbornly stayed with my thoughts focused […]
Tag:
social
Short answers or no responses at all. That’s my social life. Sure it’s mostly all media but it really puts a damper on my social anxiety when I want to actually talk to people.
Socially phobic, housebound, very depressed, panic disorder, no prospects or way out
written by coldbloodedoldtimes
Hi all
I’ve been debiliated by a very strong fear of people for years that got worse and worse and worse, this severe social phobia then caused depression, then panic attacks and agoraphobia. I’m now 24 and have nothing at all going for me. I can’t see any way out of my situation- yes depression plays a part in this, but my social phobia leaves me pretty much a selective mute who has been largely housebound for 5 years. I couldn’t finish education, I couldn’t work, I now have literally nothing on my CV, and even if my social phobia magically went away and I didn’t […]
Are any of you in a situation in which most of your friends/peers are completely unaware of your depressive and suicidal tendencies? Have you ever gotten that feeling of disconnection that results from knowing that the person across from you, whom you may have known for almost your entire life, is still so fundamentally isolated from an aspect of your personality that consumes you everyday? As if nobody out there actually knows you? Almost like the social creature you’ve sustained over the years is some sort of agent dispatched by you to maintain the facade - Whilst the real you is still at home, under those sheets, constantly asking questions.
So I stumbled on this site tonight while researching methods to use when my time comes. I’m a little nervous about saying this out loud (or even in anonymous type), but yes, I do intend to end my life. Not now, or even in the near future, but when the time is right. There’s only one reason I’m still alive right now really, and that’s my dad. Not only is he a great guy and my untimely demise would shatter him, but he’s also paid a great deal of money our for my new doctor to stabilize my mental health. To her credit, btw, I’m […]
Being at home became far too painful. It’s an excruciating thing to watch the home life the brought you up for sixteen years, that was your safe place – rot away in front of your very own eyes. And I did what I’m best at – I pushed it away. I didn’t let it defeat me, I refused to let it drag me down.
I would wake at 5 AM just to get some peace from the chaos. I would leave my house for school at 5:30 AM and would walk – along the edge of the cliffs, along the beach for hours on the […]
It seems like I’ve went as far as I can go. I’m at the end of the road. I don’t have any specific plans, though, just that I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m depressed and lonely. I have no job and I have no friends. I will probably be homeless in about two weeks because the rent went up where I live and I can’t afford it. I have no family members near me. We’re not close anyway. I take medication for anxiety and depression but they’re not helping. I’ve also been diagnosed with PTSD and Asperger’s Syndrome. This makes it very difficult […]
I think suicidal people should be taken to an island or just isolated away somewhere, where we can live in peace and harmony with each other, rather than be abused by our current social surroundings or Doped by are so called helpers the psychiatric warlords. We are not mental or sick, we just don’t have options, and because of this we would rather Die than suffer, we would rather die than degrade ourselves by conforming with the modern Era.
So there.
p.s i should probably say thats just my opinion not necessarily the opinion of any other sufferers. xPeacex
it’s an interesting genre of music, but this is my favorite song within it.
As a sufferer of bad GAD and social anxiety, having to ride the bus out to college was extremely stressful and at times distressing as my anxiety would flare up real bad. But this song helped me at least enjoy the view out the window in the early morning with the sun painting the sky a brilliant orange. Unless it was winter. Then the sky was shitty and black.
Lol, well, I hope you at least enjoy this song.
all that they want from me is to play my part in social gatherings. they don’t want to be embarrassed because of their son. how do they see me? just another dot in this social web. i have all kind of social strings attached to me. i’m a position holder: a son, a brother, the heir of this fucking heritage. and they don’t give me required powers either. they think of me as some lowly being. fuck i hate them so much. just let my sister’s marriage complete and i’m gonna show ’em who i am. just just let me get the opportunity.
why do […]
It’s not that I’m unattractive, I’m just embarrassed by my face; I hate moving my mouth in front of people; I hate when people look at me. I try to be social but I just creep people out, and that just puts me two steps backwards. My brain is slowing down. I can’t remember words or concepts I need to communicate with people. My brain has become so tired I struggle to remember correct sentence structure when speaking. I am thrust into all of these social activities because of my boyfriend and I constantly embarrass him. Sometimes he catches me staring at nothing and asks […]
Just how many times have I wanted to cry.
But somehow “it’s not manly to cry”.
And I’ve never really cared about this weird social norm, but now the tears just won’t come.
I am reaching but I fall
And the stars are black and cold
As I stare into the void
Of a world that cannot hold
I’ll escape now from this world
From the world of my beloved
There is nowhere I can turn
There is no way to go on
My soul cries out in anguish every time I get backstabbed by the one I love most.
So why does it feel like I am? Outwardly I try so damn hard every single day to make them smile, to make you smile. My only thoughts are of yours, my sweet Maria. When I turn inward, numbness is all. None of this is your fault.
I have been distant all my life. Not ugly, or fat, or picked on in any way. I separated myself from others as a matter of course. We had no connection, whatever they felt around me was lost on me. Social cues, meaningless, friendships, tossed aside. I care about nothing. I’m watching my fingers type and know that this […]
I feel like I am The Only One. The only one that is Truly Alone. I know that is not true… But somehow all my searches for somebody with life circumstances like mine only further validate that I Am Alone And No One Understands. Oh and by the way I am Not A Teenager. I wasn’t a particularly angsty teenager. If I had been one, perhaps I would have been ok now. If I had realized earlier that I might have social anxiety and/or be a HSP (whatever the difference is, I only learned about HSP yesterday) maybe I could have solved this sooner.
I just […]
im a religious girl i believe in God but right about now my life is not so easy my dads away and he was the only person that i felt good with i only see him once a year and i rarely talk to him on the phone my mom… my mom is harsh on me and i understand why but i just can’t take it anymore im sixteen but she treats me like im three i have no social life outside of school and social medias my friends and she’s so mean when ever she has a problem with someone else or something im […]
I just want to say that I love you all. As a community of fucked up people, social outcasts, great minds, the cold and lonely and unlucky people
written by RogueShadow1281
I love you all. Been on here since i was 15. And on that fateful day I chose to look up suicide methods. I ignored the website that talked about help and such and came here. I found people who were interesting and like me. Although my problems were faint in comparison, it still meant people who were relating and also helpful in my time of need.
I thank you all for your support and to the admins even when i was a shitbag troll. I’m sorry for that. I love you all, as my great friends in a suicidal community. Talk to me on kik […]
I feel like most people notice depression signs  but rather adopt the role of the spectator instead of intervening. Why are there so many out there claiming one can and must get through stuff alone? Why is death considered a weak choice? Why do we shame ourselves when there’s nothing shameful about feeling depressed, lonely and suicidal.
As I get fully recovered, I’m trying my best to put myself out there in social environments and whenever this kind of subject gets on the table, people bash and deny help to those who are desperately asking for it.
How many of you had your parents, a friend or […]
I’ll start with my earliest memory of running around my living room while people where drinking and taking drugs the last thing I remember is being put back to bed by a junkie. My mum always used to beat me from time to time. When I was around 7 she meet a guy called Stephen. She would give him money when there was no food in the house and I had nothing to eat I would go to my grans who lived around the corner from me to get some of her biscuits to try and kill the hunger as I would go days without […]
The life and times of a deformed female! What I have experienced of life!
First lesson of being deformed: you are evil no matter what you do. You are impure, you are undeserving, you are filth. There’s no way that mutated body was created by the hand of God.
Beauty is goodness. Ugly is evil. (Watch any Disney movie!) If you were beautiful we’d let you get away with murder. If you are ugly we won’t let you get away with throwing a pencil across the room.
You cannot afford to have any accidents or missteps as an ugly person. You will not be forgiven. You will be reviled for minor misdeeds that […]
IMO, suicidal people are stuck between Life & Death as the result of a conflict: Intellect vs Emotions
on a purely rational level, we realize human life is meaningless, especially from a cosmic perspective
whether humans are or not, the Universal Mind will continue to create .. when man has disappeared, I really doubt It’ll pause to think: “wow I really miss mankind :'( Let me recreate man to fill this void I’m feeling”
unfortunately, our emotions get in the way .. thanks to social conditioning
social conditioning says: every life has a purpose ; it will get better ; you wouldn’t appreciate life if it only had ups […]