I’m a 21 year old guy from The Netherlands.
Im just comming here as a last resort, i just dont know where else to go..
Anyway here is my story:
Im depressed since my puberty started when i was like 12 or something and i been unhappy ever since.
I tryed to commit suicide 2 both time using different kind of drugs mostly benzos and alcohol (im not advocating this methode!) both times i woke up the next day in a wet bed, just because i was so out i just peed myself :\
I been in a mental hospital twice now one time it […]
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someone
I would never kill myself with someone else’s gun.
Or the gun my brother bought me.
just hate it when you’re sure you want to end your life and then someone makes you feel the need to stay?
I think I’m poison. I made it through the holidays through sheer will and maybe some kind of grace. But now…it’s a new year and so, yeah…what now, right? I’m just breathing and I even forget to do that sometimes. It’s like I’m waiting on something. Holding my breath. Expectant. And I guess that is kind of hope, right? So there is that. And there is my kid. Who is…well, everything. But then there is all of the other stuff which is big and small and there’s me who messes up and I have honestly begun to think maybe I am poison.
All my life I […]
Even with my eyes shut tight, I still see it coming now.
I need someone to talk to. I’m apprehensive of calling a suicide hotline, as I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital when I did that half a year ago or so… I sent a message to the staff of one of these suicide hotlines yesterday (you can do that on their website), but it will probably take them a few days to reply.
No, this isn’t the first time I’ve felt my depression tightening its grip at the beginning of a new year… but it is the first time my “post NYE depression” has been […]
It got to the point where not even a bottle of vodka can get me to talk to my friends about my problems.I feel so damn alone,shut and distant from everyone .There are days i feel bad,angry with myself for still being alive and yet most of the time i feel nothing at all,the numb feeling took over my whole self.
Im sorry for writing this,i just had to .I know many of you have bigger problems than me and im here whining.Sorry.I hope it gets better for you.
But I’m so messed up I can’t even let people help me. It’s times like these when I’m sat in my room alone crying and wanting to scream and just get out of this horrible mind of mine when I actually start thinking I need help. I need someone to tell me what’s happening, what’s wrong, and how to make this stop. But I can’t. Nearly a year ago I had a counsellor at school for 5 months. For 5 months I didn’t say anything. I felt trapped. When she would ask me questions I’d sit there like an idiot staring at the desk. I […]
Why do I deal with him?? Like am I really that stupid to continue to talk to someone who only wants me to talk sexual to him and when I don’t he flips out or confesses his feelings for me to try to get me to give in. Or he just randomly flips out on my because I like a guy and comes up with this horrible flaw about them when he is really describing himself. He makes me feel like complete shit 99.9% of the time. Why do I allow myself to go through that?? And why can’t I say this to […]
Why is everything always so fucked?! Why am I such a nice guy when everyone is a fuckin dick?! Why do I wear what little heart I somewhat have left on my sleeve for someone to just rip it out step on it stab it shoot it douse it with acid and set it on fire…. I quit…..
My life has never been a happy one. At least, not for me. I have no idea why I had to be such a miserable person. Why I had to be perpetually afraid, miserable, feel completely alone, and live in utter anguish. I don’t feel I did anything to deserve it. In fact, for the first time in my life, I feel like I am owed something, that I deserve more, that I am better than what’s happened to me. But, it doesn’t make a difference how I feel, or what I do to demand the world give me a fair shake, because in the […]
My ex-boyfriend has sworn to murder me. I was in an abusive relationship with him for 2 years (2009-2011) and I only escaped after he strangled me in the car and someone happened to be walking by and I called the cops, even though he said he would kill me if I ever did.
Let’s jump to 5 years later. I moved and he has emailed me thousands of death threats over the past 5 years. I wish that was a hyperbole, but I actually counted. I received 993 angry/threatening emails in one year alone. Let’s also note that I haven’t responded to a single one of […]
I’m mad for basically no reason.
…. Completely furious.
And my utility blades are sorely tempting me, which helps absolutely nothing.
…..
Someone shoot me, please; just put me out of my nonsense and leave the rest of the world to twirl along without me.
God, I was having such a good…
I don’t even know anymore. I’m just sick of this.
I am thoroughly done with all of this utter bullshit and these slam-dunk nothings.
Just
shoot
me.
……………………………………………………………………………..
Oh, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
I don’t know what I’m going to do.
I don’t know what I have been doing.
Just please, someone, find me. I feel so lost.
I […]
Anyone who needs somebody there for them, I am here for you so kik me @boricua_loca23, Anytime I am here. I don’t judge and I will be here for support, help, venting anything! So if anyone needs me or just someone in there life, in there corner, I’m here.
Crimson Dream.
The years between my graduation from college and meeting you were filled with depression and loss; I was in an existential crisis; I was a tortured soul. I became an abuser of alcohol. But, that abuse went unnoticed because I lived in a college town where binge drinking was the norm. I worked a job where my co-workers partied hard. We had so many parties where I drank to the point of blacking out on too many occasions to count. I suppose the drinking was a way to cope with my distress. I can remember many occasions where I would be driving or doing any […]
A few other posts got me thinking, what if we tried a thread where we all have to say something (a) nice about ourself. As in, what’s a good quality I possess, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, whatever.
And (b) say something nice about someone else. On SP if you are familiar with folks, but it doesn’t have to be someone on SP. Anyone in your life that you can think of something nice about.
If you don’t want to play, that’s fine, but please don’t post negative crap on this thread. This is a POSITIVE thread. Hopefully those too angry or sad or depressed to comment, will […]
What’s the stat? 50% of happy blushing couples end up in bitter divorce, right?
So…there’s prospects of a divorce, finally. For my parents. After 15 miserable years. She becomes increasingly self-absorbed, clingy, needy, sensitive. He becomes withdrawn, detached, bitter. He falls in love with another local woman, bubbly, blonde, a book-lover, confident, independent. I half-guessed that my dad was swirling around with someone else. It was inevitable.
It was wrong, yes, but I can’t blame him. My mother isn’t easy to live with. Actually, it’s pure hell. Don’t get me wrong, I do love her – many good traits, etc – but my mom and my dad […]
I think I have now entered in a new state of mine. The “Real Suicidal Path” . The feeling of knowing you’ll never be happy no matter who you are with or where you are. It’s really horrifying to feel this way. It’s like nothing and no one matters because you, yourself, doesn’t even matter. It’s getting to the point where I’m beginning to not care how my loved ones feel about anything. Rather they are upset about their own problems, or mad over my feelings… I just want to get out of bed right now, go into the kitchen, and stick a pair of […]
i wish someone would pull my heart out like in Once Upon a Time so I couldn’t feel this pain anymore
its not huge pain but this silent deadly one
that makes you gasp like you’re drowning ever so slowly
there’s a constant lump in my throat and racing thoughts in my mind as i wish someone asked me how i am
and expected me to say more than “i’m fine” because they knew that it was bullshit
i wish that someone looked at me and knew that i had been crying the night before
because i felt so lonely because no one answered me, […]
I am a medical student with a history of mental health issues which began when I was a child. I have always been truthful with my mental health problems with my medical school, believing that through being transparent, they would be able to support me fully. Last year I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act (I was forced to go into a psychiatric hospital against my will), and once I was discharged, I stupidly informed my medical school.
Since I informed them, I feel like I am being punished. Everything was automatically shut down; I was told that I was not allowed to return to […]
maybe there is a chance to change to feel better to be happy
but how do i prove to someone that i can ??
how do i prove it to me??
still feeling lost …