The thoughts of suicide their back my life is falling apart again My so called bestfriend yeah I told her I didnt want her in my life anymore why? because shes gone out with my boyfriends that ive gone out with she copies everything I do shes a real diffrent person…Not the one I met…..My other so ccalled bestfriend is taking her side I dont know why tho…..They both talk smack about each other and they both know it My friend Donna and my friend Ema are the only ones by my side because they know angela Everybody else thinks shes a die hard sweet […]
it’s been awhile since i posted on here. I guess things are going okay, Ive had a lot going on lately actually
first off, ive had two of my close friends (both guys) confess to me that theyre suicidal and one told me that he had just took pills and i freaked out. i couldnt lose another friend, i wouldnt be the same if i was the only one who knew. and his reasons were the same as the other two boys who suceeded in the past two years. My other friend ruined it with his girlfriend and hes been dying everyday because she wont even […]
Vaccines were developed and penicillin discovered and it seemed like a miracle. It stopped vast numbers of people from dying. But when plagues happened and other sicknesses it was a natural way to reduce the population. With less people there would be less competition, less stress, and a better chance for survival.
Just something I’ve been thinking about. I get on these tangents! 😐
Ps, is that a horrible thing to think? I worry I’ve gotten really twisted.
Pps, it’s not that I would like innocent people to die
I feel really down right now  and bad Monday is coming and I can just feel all my stress creeping up on me like life is going to end. I feel really ugly right now and my self-esteem is real low.
*sigh*
Today, I turned 18 years old.
On my 16th birthday, after crying myself to sleep, I vowed to never cry over my family again. Instead of focusing on all of the things that were destroying me, I focused on the diet I had started about 10 days prior. It took control of my entire life. By July I weighed less than 100 pounds, my bones stuck out, but I still wanted to be skinnier. I rarely ate, but when I did, I made sure to throw it up.
I started recovering last summer, June 2012. It went well for awhile, but once school started back […]
so much stress and so alone. all i want to do is just never talk and never sleep and never eat and never drink i never want to do anything i never want to do what i need to i do what i want to and what i want to is what im bout to do. i dont know how to handle all this..so il let death take care of this. </3 my relationship with the world has expired…
He broke up with me a month ago, and I was barely getting over it.
I’m just appalled. How could he have regained his feelings for me in under a month?
He wants me back. But I’m scared. I’m afraid of all the possibilities, both good and bad.
He treated me terribly after the first couple months.
And I don’t really want to go back to experiencing that sensation.
I never liked that feeling. And he reminded me about how it felt. To feel like I wasn’t good enough. Like I don’t make a difference whether I’m in someone’s life or not.
I haven’t become like this just […]
Yes it’s upside down
You can’t see them well but there closer to the camera
Hey guys my names Scott and I’m 12
heres my story
It started  half way through year 5  I just moved schools and I didn’t fit it I was different
im now in year 8 and I have bottled it all […]
Wouldn’t it be nice if the world ends??
I’ve pretty much given up on suicide for the moment. I can’t put my family through it. I just dread the day when I’m too much for them to look after, because I can’t support myself.
The end of the world would be nice. At least it’s something I could get involved with. Oh well, wishful thinking.
I’m one of those people who can’t face the world. I can’t face people. I can just about talk to people online, unless they start to get to know me, which is when I usually back away because I can’t commit myself to […]
dont know when you will actualy read this but i need to talk to some one i hope your willing to read and listen. i;m desprate i need something not sure what i know i tell you not to talk about killing yourself but i know how you feel for diffrent reasons.  im not sure how much longer i can hold on staying alive so i dont hurt my kids isnt enough of a reason any more staying alive because its a sin to kill myself not sure about that. ending the pain sounds real good right now. ending the frustration the hoplesness  the uncertany […]
sundays my birthday, im turning 16 and im not excited at all. im very depressed, i dont know what to do. i just want to die. i have nobody to talk to about how im really feeling. im tired of hiding all this. i need to open up to someone but i cant trust anybody. day by day i lose more and more friends. i think it might get to the point where i have no friends and then i would really have nobody. if i does come to that point i just might have to end my life and  i have my mom but i […]
So lately I’ve been feeling like I’m useless..it feels like everything I do is not good enough. I just want to leave this world. I think It would be better without me here. I need someone to talk to but I have a hard time opening up to people. Last time I opened up to someone they showed me why I don’t open up to people. I’m tired of crying every night. I just want to end the pain. I’m hurt, depressed, angry. I just want it to all go away. Everything is tooo much. I’m 15 in highschool and im failing all my […]
I miss being a little kid the world was so pretty and I loved life. Now things are not what I expected to be like. I often wonder if I could of fixed it. My life just shattered. My counselor thinks my depression is caused by my past. Maybe it was I’m not sure but I just I want to feel good again not feel so disconnected all the time. I have really bad social anxiety I have no friends I’m alone. I think I like being alone I pushed all of  them away. Yet sometimes I wish I had someone who just understand me. I am […]
Ive had a vedy fucked up two years.. i already prepare for death.. i sled off the road lastnight.. and for 5 seconds i just new i was going to hit a tree and die.. my point is.. i wasnt scared.. i was ready and hoping.. when i relised after hydroplaning at 80 miles an hour sideways then in to a large field.. it being dark i couldnt see anything.. then sliding at about 60 miles an hour into the grassy side median.. im very suprised i only had 3 flat tires.. i landed 3 feet from the tree sideline.. damn how i wish in […]
Over the years of my life people have trusted me with their secrets. Their own stories. Just holding them can put stress on a person, so I decided to share them with whoever is willing to read. I will not use names nor describe the physival apearance of that person.
First, a friend of mine had told me that her mother had been raped during the summer of 2012. She told me it was by someone very close and she is still going to therapy. Although she is recovering from the whole experience, she is making progress. She was not afraid of speaking up (which is […]
I don’t like my life. I don’t like the fact that there is a daily routine which I dont like, yet I am forced to follow because of society. I can see most people are not happy, and only pretend. I’m sick of fake smiles and all the judgement. School is very stressful, I hate it. The only reason I think of college is not to study, but to have a new beginning elsewhere, no school and no stress.Yet that life seems somewhat impossible. In school everyone “grows” intellectually, yet our being is deteriorating. My suicide thoughts lately have been very strong. There was […]
I honestly don’t know where to begin. I know this isn’t where I thought I would be, at 34. Writing an anonymous blog about how the scope of my life suddenly seems meaningless.  I’m tired of smiling on the outside when I’m crying on the inside. I’m tired of helping people through all their misery and pain, yet they forget to help me when I’m in need. I’m tired of work, and the stress it has caused me — but I’ve gone too far. I’m too accomplished that leaving would cause all the would-be supporters to clamor, “you’re such an idiot for throwing away your career.” […]
I was told that I am incapable and irresponsible. That is true and I was ashamed to realize that.
When I was young, I thought that I will grow up to be a socially desirable person–but I am nothing close to that.
People think that I am a weirdo, outcast. I do not ever hang out with people anymore. I stay home most of the time unless I have to go out for grocery shopping or something.
I cry a lot. Every time I cry, I am in a pain and sadness. and anger. I cannot get used to being alone and crying.
There have […]
I’m certain I’m not the only 24 year old out there with a depression issue but I’d like to try and figure this out. I am relativly successful. I recently got out of the military and started college and am going to try and get into the nursing program. I had a lot of issues when I was around 16/17 with depression. Then I got better then again when I was 19 and living alone. I joined the military shortly there after and was fine until the extreme amount of stress was too much to handle any more after 3.5 years. Now i am here […]
I wan to run away, and wake up in another day, live in silence for a day, no stress, no tears, freedom.