Tag:

Suicidal Thoughts

Working class hero is something to be…

by niki 9/3/2010

written by niki

“As soon as you’re born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you’re clever and they despise a fool
Till you’re so fucking crazy you can’t follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

When they’ve tortured and scared you for twenty odd years
Then they expect […]

9/3/2010 3 comments

You know what’s probably our biggest problem is?

by niki 8/28/2010

written by niki

I think it’s because we can’t seem to find someone, a friend, a person/individual whom we can really relate, connect, and understand each other..in our real life.
To find a similar like-minded individual,
or someone who’s probably undergoing or in the same situation like us..in our real-daily life.

You know..the more I see all the thread posts here, and seeing also the comments by other people, which can actually sometimes even give so much comfort, relief, and even there’s somebody I’ve read that can keep continuing her life, because she probably got encouraged, inspired, and/or helped by the comments posts from others; the more I see […]

8/28/2010 1 comment

This might be the ONLY hope I have for mankind & humanity

by niki 8/26/2010

written by niki

This might be the ONLY hope I have for mankind & humanity:

I hope this is all true..
Other than this,….I don’t know what else.Â Seriously..

8/26/2010 3 comments

to steve_c (in reply to your thread “Niki”), and also everyone else who’s interested

by niki 8/24/2010

written by niki

I swear I fuckin’ hate this whole “awaiting moderation” thing, I’ve typed such a long reply to you & your excellent post, steve_c, but then it comes again this “awaiting moderation” thing. Luckily I have copied what I’ve wrote, and I’ll paste/write it again here:

thank you everybody for your posts, and also kyle, for your caring of me (english is also not my first language, so I really appreciate you’re taking some time to write out & translate your thoughts into english. it’s not easy).
Believe me that I very much appreciate it. and thank you very much Steve, for actually braving yourself to […]

8/24/2010 11 comments

is Humanity too dumb, or in simpler words, are most people just too dumb to realize the most essential things for better world?

by niki 8/23/2010

written by niki

Every time I come to see a new post about someone sharing his/her pain in life, my heart can’t help but feeling much pain too (even if I never know that person in real life). And there are so much, so many people that seems to believe that DEATH is ultimately the ‘Answer’, that of what would be the true resting place, the true door, or even the true world/dimension of ultimate pureness to live, unlike this “damn corrupt & sickening” earthly life caused/polluted mostly by ‘stupid, clueless, dumb, egoistical’ humans, so they said.

Every all wise gurus of this world (be it Buddha, Jesus, etc) […]

8/23/2010 5 comments

for those who want to commit suicide, what you really need is perhaps just be more open-mind & keep searching

by niki 8/23/2010

written by niki

And maybe *that* is your ‘Purpose’ for your existence, for YOU to ‘feel’ all these ‘sensitive’ things. to USE it, to HARNESS it, and to connect with similar, like-minded souls (you will find! as already proven in this website, of how you can seemingly relate with each other here.)

Also, somebody said it right here that sometimes all you really deeply need is just this piece of information(s),..that might open your mind, and change your perspective when viewing this earthly Life (internet is great. use it).
I will share some of my ‘findings’ that I’ve found during my life-journey, and really wish/hope it could perhaps provide […]

8/23/2010 0 comment

To everybody here: the ‘banding idea’ and other interesting findings!

by niki 8/20/2010

written by niki

Dear everybody,
I am so sorry that I was late, and didn’t make any post/comment as I’ve promised last night..
Something urgent suddenly come up in real life, and I have to do it first…although not like I have much energy in doing it..because my mind is so totally fixated into this website,..and especially the VERY RECENT posts that imo were just so mind-boggling with constant ‘new findings’ and the interconnected-ness with everybody here on one another! and frankly to be honest,..at this current point now, I don’t seem to get interested in ANY other things in my real life, than knowing all these ‘theories […]

8/20/2010 5 comments

Indigo children (everybody please read)

by niki 8/20/2010

written by niki

This is so frustrating!
I’ve posted a long reply to the most recent thread-post by DMass here http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/my-feelings-are-starting-to-scare-me/
and somehow this ‘awaiting moderation‘ thing suddenly showed up again, and hence my post is still pending! (what is this ‘awaiting moderation’ thing anyway??..and I’ve also noticed that some of you said your posts are mysteriously gone??.. wow…this is really bad!..is there any way the Mods or Admin of this website to know or fix it?..)

I actually am composing a thread about putting the ‘banding together’ idea into real thing. and also to put together ALL excellent ideas & ‘alternative theories’ here.

But then I figure that due […]

8/20/2010 21 comments

All of us might be conspired all this time!!

by niki 8/17/2010

written by niki

To everybody in this website,

I don’t know if this is a serious coincidence,
or it’s perhaps really true that my ‘energy’ has just drawn upon *something* very important to read!
I don’t know….I mean, I used to NOT believe completely about the ‘Law of Attraction’ (LOA) and ‘The Secret’ stuff, that basically talks about how everything we see in this world physically is really just a result of our MIND, the Energy.

But lo and behold,
I know that thorought my life I’ve actually experienced quite many ‘strange’ things/events that seems ‘too good’ to just be a ‘mere coincidences’ (and I would bet that all these […]

8/17/2010 4 comments

Dear everybody, my fellow human beings, I think I’ve just got a sudden ‘revelation’ that I need to share about why we are so fucked up (please read!!)

by niki 8/16/2010

written by niki

Dear everybody,
my friends, a.k.a my fellow worthy and beloved human beings…

I want all of you here to please bare with me again for just about 5-10 minutes reading what I’ve found to be a sudden ‘eureka/revelation’ moment, thanks to actually vbenja’s thread that asks and ponder about “life” here http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/life-9/Â Â (it’s amazing of how ‘connected’ we can be, if we *choose* to, isn’t it?…)

And without getting too long, I will start right-away of what I’ve found,
hopefully what I’m going to share here will also ‘connect’ with all your hearts, your innermost souls…..that truly makes us what “humans“.

Here it goes :

Have you (we […]

8/16/2010 1 comment

To all of you who want to commit suicide, please read this first (my current summarizing conclusive thoughts after reading many posts up ’till now)

by niki 8/15/2010

written by niki

I will firstly try to be brief, and to-the-point with what I’m going to say here
(it’s not an easy thing, especially since I’m not that good of a writer, and secondly, English is not my first language ie: I am from Indonesia, and don’t ask why I can get to this website!…it’s strange, I know. internet is amazing).

It’s been a week that I’ve accidentally found this website, and ever since then following many posts & threads here. I will say this again & again: that I’ve found so many sincere, honest, and also the most heartfelt and even most eye-opening, mind-shifting posts/threads and ideas […]

8/15/2010 8 comments

Splinter’s case: is humanity and mankind hopeless?…

by niki 8/14/2010

written by niki

Some of the thoughts & responses have really reshaped my perspective on life, humanity, truth, and pain.
But unfortunately, I got so depressed again at how humanity & mankind in REALITY are progressing.
I just looked at the latest update regarding Splinter’s story, and my chest suddenly feels so heavy, that I can’t explain it by mere words. Even I have such a very HARD time to sit in front of computer, and write another reply/comment,..and especially fueled with some unfortunate ‘flame wars’ here showed me of how differing each person’s perspective is,..and it makes me eventually ponder, think, and ask this ultimate question, that […]

8/14/2010 19 comments

Isn’t posting & discussing in this website is a CHANGE already?

by niki 8/10/2010

written by niki

ThisÂ thought just suddenly occur to me.
For those of you who feel so much apathy and hopeless & pessimistic with how our current world is, and that you somehow feel hopeless & helpless to do anything about it, in other words, you feel that you just can’t “change the world”, the current fucked-up state/condition of the world we’re living in, no matter how much you’re aching for it,..butÂ honestly, has it ever occur to youÂ all that, even by posting and discussing in this website, has already created a CHANGE, even though it started only a little, and as an “idea”. But like the premise of the […]

8/10/2010 3 comments

there IS still Hope,..try to find it!

by niki 8/9/2010

written by niki

I am a Christian who has turned into an agnostic (and up to this day, I still honestly can’t find a single valid, reasonable reason to go back into ‘pure’ Christianity again,..though I’m always remain open-minded),
and from my own observations & experiences, & also seeing others, I can tell you this:

God, whatever It is, usually means HOPE.
People need hope, to keep living in this world. otherwise, he’ll find many & any kind of reason to end his/her life (because he/she feels NO hope anymore).
It’s that simple.

Now although I’m very much still questioning whether God is a “He (Him)” (and why does it […]

8/9/2010 4 comments

for those who wants 2012 (or end of world) to quickly come

by niki 8/9/2010

written by niki

I have to tell you that I feel you all who wants 2012 to really come true (no matter how much “B.S” you might think about this. we’re talking about FEELING here, not THINKING scientifically or whatever!).

Seriously, when Iâ€™m just fucking tired with whatâ€™s happening in this so-called â€œreal worldâ€ and all its â€˜uglyâ€™ hypocrisy, backstabbing, cheats, tricks, lies & more lies, pain, and how â€˜hopelessâ€™ humanity in general might seem,..it becomes VERY easy for me to hope, even PRAY for 2012 to really come,
for the comet or meteor to come and wipes like 3/4th of the Earth or whatever, to make these goddamn […]

8/9/2010 2 comments

Suicide? don’t die yet (sharing some glimpses of Hope)

by niki 8/4/2010

written by niki

I’ve just happened to come across this site, and seen all the replies here,
and I can honestly totally relate with everything you all said here.
In fact, these are all the main reasons, or my main feelings, that I’ve browsed around & eventually found this place!

I hate the fact that:
1. The world is mostly run by the riches & powerful, but not necessarily the most genuine kind of people, ‘cuz there’re often just way too many dirty politics & trickery for one honest, genuine person (or leader) to cope for! and it can just becomes way too much to handle!
although I’m not […]

8/4/2010 2 comments

My Life is a Failure

by A Lonely Soul 5/19/2010

written by A Lonely Soul

Through out my whole life I was that kid over there. No one ever seemed to like me so I was forced to create an entire personality and live a lie. The one thing the brought me joy was being praised for my intelligence. I even recieved 2 schoarships to my current private school. Well my family is kinda poor so that helped a lot and they bragged about it and I felt a little good. Now I am failing out and might have to leave the school. I’m just a dissapointment again.

Since I was little my only goal was to graduate highschool and then […]

5/19/2010 2 comments

Chronic pain kills.

by JTJ 5/4/2010

written by JTJ

I’m 27 years old. Very soon I’ll be advancing to the big two-eight, but my life has been over for almost five years.

I’ve never considered myself to be the suicidal type. I was an angst-riddled teenager once — it seems like it was a lifetime ago — and while I did suffer a minor stress-related nervous breakdown in 2002, I never seriously considered taking my life. I wanted to take the life of others — I abandoned high school when I was sixteen after an incident in which I almost beat a well-known, well-feared bully to death with a steel shopworks chair — but never […]

5/4/2010 6 comments

when bad stuff happens

by Kathy.Castillo 4/19/2010

written by Kathy.Castillo

when something bad happens,
i grab a bottle of pills,
twist it and turn it,
in my hands
round and around,

i listen
to the “drop the world”
because it is the same as my mood,
it expresses how i feel.
i turn the pills in my hand
and listen.

i think about suicide,
a lot,
i dont think that i am normal.
i think about suicide and death too much.
im scared.
but i want to do it- kill myself.

i think to myself.
what would u say if i told u,
that i had a death wish.
countless times- i wrote suicide notes,
and swallowed […]

4/19/2010 11 comments

I know it’s nothing, but..

by unsuresoul 4/7/2010

written by unsuresoul

I actually am quite unsure about what to do. My life seems so normal on the surface, and I don’t have any mental problems (at least I think so.)

But I lost my dad two years ago, he killed himself with the exhaust fumes of his car, not telling anyone what he was going to do before. All he left was a note saying ‘I’m sorry.’ and his flat keys.
And ever since that, I haven’t been the same. Sure, I guess I can still talk to people normally and am fairly intelligent, but everything inside me just feels so numb. Most of the time I […]

4/7/2010 5 comments

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