Tag:

suicidal

No more thoughts…until now….

by Palmer123 2/5/2014

written by Palmer123

Last year I was hospitalized (self-admitted) because of severe suicidal ideation. Â I spent a week in an emergency mental health ward and then was released and stayed in a recovery facility.

I’ve been to therapy and still see my therapist. Â I have a psychiatrist and still take my Wellbutrin. Â I’ve had ups and downs, but since I was discharged I haven’t had any more suicidal thoughts…until now.

I’ve worked at CBT, I journal regularly, I don’t isolate, I have a support system. Â My wife is wonderful, and we have a strong relationship. Â I’m close to my two college age daughters. Â I remember how much pain I caused […]

2/5/2014 1 comment

What Do You Do?

by Tori 2/4/2014

written by Tori

What do you do when you are hated? Is it right to cut myself? Am I right for having suicidal thoughts or is that just another fuck up?

2/4/2014 6 comments

First Meeting with my Counselor

by ClairDeLune 2/3/2014

written by ClairDeLune

When I said I think about suicide she was pretty baffled, but whatever, I wouldn’t think I was suicidal myself if I didn’t know better. So we talked about it and she told me several options, visiting a psychiatrist, a psychologist, or staying at a clinic for several weeks. I am not sure yet which one I am going to choose, but I have plenty of time till the next meeting.

One thing that bothered me though was this: I didn’t know how to tell her about my suicidal thoughts so I just said I was member of an online-forum … a suicide forum. She wasn’t […]

2/3/2014 10 comments

In heaven all the interesting people are missing -Friedrich Nietzsche

by addicted 2/2/2014

written by addicted

because they all here on sp

being in the phase of ex-stream suicidal or depressed is worthful experience of a human life, very few get chance to experience it.

All sp visitors are fortunate to experience all the pain in the world.

2/2/2014 4 comments

First time at Lakeside Behavioral Center

by ahannah123 2/1/2014

written by ahannah123

I was at school and theÂ counselorÂ wanted to talk to me. So I started talking to her about being depressed and she asked me if I had a plan to kill myself. I said I’ve been thinking of killing myself and if I were to I would use sleeping pills.Then she started crying and said it was because she cared and called the school’s police officer guy and he came in and asked if I was suicidal and I said yes and then I
had to confirm it with anotherÂ counselorÂ then he searched my bag and then I went in the back of theÂ deputies’Â car (without handcuffs) he […]

2/1/2014 2 comments

Change

by eliizabethkaren 2/1/2014

written by eliizabethkaren

Things have changed for the better, I can’t believe that things really do “get better”. That saying has always been bs to me, I never believed that things could just one day be better and the suicidal feelings would fade. Ever since having a mental breakdown and coming so close to suicide, my eyes have opened. It’s barely been a week and things are a whole lot clearer. Things only begin to change when you realize they can. I know most of the time it feels like everything bad possible just happens to us, but most of the time it’s the way we handle the […]

2/1/2014 1 comment

Day 20

by LetItGo 1/31/2014

written by LetItGo

Hi Guys,

Day 20! 20 daily posts!!! Woo… It’s been a rough and sad journey, BUT we are not done xD.

So how are you guys? (Comment below!!! I’ll try to answer…)

How am I? Physically: Drained Mentally: Drained

My physical state… I have a massive headache, I am terribly tired, I feel sick and blech and *sigh*. Right now it’s one of those moods, those depressed suicidal moods, but I will get through it alive… But maybe I won’t I don’t know…. I just need someone there ya know? I just *sigh* it doesn’t really matter how I feel I guess. I mean really does it? Does […]

1/31/2014 20 comments

Zoloft?

by dontknowanymore 1/31/2014

written by dontknowanymore

So i have been diagnosed with postpartum depression and put on zoloft….anybody have experience with this antidepressant? I’m just looking to see any side effects any one experienced and how long it took to kick in? Did it make the suicidal thoughts better or worse? Just any info/real experience is appreciated

1/31/2014 8 comments

Busy, busy, busy

by LetItGo 1/30/2014

written by LetItGo

busy myself
to distract
from the
terrible thoughts

busy myself
to distract
from the
sadness, depression

busy myself
to distract
from the
suicidal thoughts

busy myself
to distract
from the
saddening images

busy myself
to distract
from the
screaming voices

1/30/2014 7 comments

My Story

by Chris97 1/29/2014

written by Chris97

It all started 4 months ago,when I had a surgery..I never felt like that before..I was in the hospital for 2 weeks..Every day I thought that someone will visit me,at least show me that they care a little..But,no one came,not even the person I called my best friend..When I told him I was in hospital,he said he didn’t notice I was gone..That hurted me a lot..That was the first time I felt lonely and the first night I cried..After a while,suicidal thought’s started to come..I started praying every night to god that something change..but nothing did..Then,one night I met someone over the internet,I never thought […]

1/29/2014 1 comment

Urge for no reason

by Koolwip1 1/28/2014

written by Koolwip1

Ever since I was fourteen or fifteen, I have had many, many fleeting periods of suicidal thoughts. They come often at times of stress. I will take a walk at night and consider throwing myself under the wheels of the passing truck. I am a rock climber, and I have tied a noose out of climbing rope and put it around my neck five times, just sitting alone. Last year I lived on the eleventh floor of my building, and considered pitching myself through the screen and out the window. I have gotten drunk and pulled a knife across my wrists, imagining what it would […]

1/28/2014 4 comments

The hospital is the worst place for a suicidal person

by Stain 1/28/2014

written by Stain

…or the best, depending on how you look at it. The humans who work here are as sterile, apathetic and sickening as the bleached walls. It’s funny, nature documentaries talk about how animals adapt the appearance of their surroundings as some sort of camouflage. Believe it.

Not even talking about myself, I can’t believe how many sorry saps are in here begging and pleading for help, and all they get are cold, apathetic sneers from the staff. “Stop whining or we’ll really make you suffer” is what their tyrannical stares say.

I’m sure there are a thousand ways to die in the hospital. Just looking around my […]

1/28/2014 2 comments

Let Me Go

by LetItGo 1/28/2014

written by LetItGo

let me go
why do you care
just let me go
please
i might need to go
i feel suicidal right now
can i turn to you
no not really
you’re busy
and i can’t
because you’re depressed too
and you come before me
and i dont matter
so let me go
i dont know
why you care
maybe you do
maybe you dont
how should i know?

1/28/2014 1 comment

Day 16

by LetItGo 1/27/2014

written by LetItGo

Hi Guys,

I don’t feel well… I feel suicidal… So suicidal… So depressed and sad I don’t know what to do…

How am I? Physically: Broken Mentally: Broken

My physical state… It’s just not the best right now… I have no cuts… Well not yet… Maybe later tonight my body will have a few… But who knows? Maybe I’ll be pathetic and not cut… I just don’t know… I don’t feel well… I don’t feel like I deserve to live… I’m in so much pain… So many tears… Why should I live when I’m in so much pain? Can’t I go?

My mental state… It’s just too broken […]

1/27/2014 2 comments

Telling Family

by bugman 1/25/2014

written by bugman

Really sucks when you tell your family that you are suicidal and the first words out of their mouth is “you’ll burn in hell”. WTF!!! That’s the furthest thing from my mind when i’m holding the razor blade to my wrist. She did not even ask me why I want to do it and still hasn’t. That was over a week ago and I saw her today and told her again my suicidal urges are growing stronger. Even told her about my dreams I have been having where I go to my own funeral after I commit suicide. Still nothing. I am not telling my […]

1/25/2014 3 comments

I can’t help but cry….

by whyme336 1/24/2014

written by whyme336

I cry not because I’m sad but because I’ve built up so many emotions I don’t know what else to do. But crying leads to cutting, cutting leads to burning, burning leads to bruising, bruising leads to suicidal thoughts, suicidal thoughts leads to suicide plans, suicide plans leads to suicide letters, suicide letters leads to suicide, suicide leads to others crying…

1/24/2014 2 comments

I hate it .. so much

by crazypops 1/23/2014

written by crazypops

everyday … everyday i go into college i feel so judge , that i don’t belong where i am . in my college class everyone has there friends … i do have mine to but they are all older then me by a couple of years but now its got to a point where everyone is turning on me ..i don’t know why or what i have done wrong … i was just being my self i guess . i cant tell my parents or my boyfriend .. not even my tutor , i have given up hope because no will understand, i know […]

1/23/2014 4 comments

Average humans, who are non suicidal, are foolish ?

by addicted 1/23/2014

written by addicted

” Except some 10% of humans, remaining all are just meat bags

I really don’t know from where these 90% humans getting motivation for living

These 10% of humans at least leaving some footprint on earth. they may be remembered for next 100 or 200 years

But remaining 90% humans, No one knows what they really trying to do with life. simply assisting that 10% of humans.

Out of this 90%, some realized the fact and in dilemma whether to commit suicide or not. Average humans who are non suicidal are Â just foolish ”

Question is: Â If an average person* with strong self convincing power is living happily, isn’t he […]

1/23/2014 4 comments

My family always does this..

by BandsSaveMe 1/22/2014

written by BandsSaveMe

Okay well first of all Hi my name is Karalyn and this is my first post so yea, hi!

I am 12 years old [pretty young for this website I know..] Anyways,

I was at the mall with my older sister one time, and I wanted to go to Hot Topic, But every time I ask.. My sister would say “You’re a freak for walking in there and wearing their clothes” I don’t know if she notices but it hurts me and that’s one of the reasons I cry to school. I feel that everyone just thinks that I’m a freak who wears all black and band […]

1/22/2014 3 comments

Pressure

by TheCurly 1/18/2014

written by TheCurly

My parents put so much pressure on me to strive for success. I get about 5 texts a day from my stepmother to apply for jobs that will “help me with my future”, none of which I even want. When in the car on my way back to uni the other day, my dad said that if my sister and I don’t get out and make “connections” and “try harder” that we will fail in life. They just want me to work and “get involved” 24/7. Plus they expect me to be happy. No one knows that I spend about an hour a day looking […]

1/18/2014 3 comments

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