Why am I here? That is the question i have been asking myself lately.  I just don’t get it.  I feel like God is just keeping me here as entertainment. My mom is pregnant and felt like she was going to have the baby early, so she was in the hospital and got to come home yesterday.  I had soccer practice, but i feel slow and tired so i haven’t been playing good.  It just feels like the world is moving without me. All my family does anymore is yell. My dad says it’s my fault we fight, but couldn’t give me any reasons why […]
Tag:
Suicide
I’ve been in the hospital twice in less than a month and tried to commit suicide 3 times… and the last 2 days I’ve been back in bed with hardly any contact from anyone and I’m not going to contact people and be a burden to them but honestly I’m going crazy… and afraid it won’t be too much longer… I just want to die, but I guess its my fault b.c. I’m posting positive sayings on facebook like I’m excited to see what God has for my future. My mom has asked for my schedule but I don’t want to deal with her because […]
So school starts tomorrow. I’m so not happy about it. I’m losing my best friend to someone who’s just like her, and apparently is so much better than me. Clearly, everyone’s better than me. Last night, I was alone. I could barely breath, I just felt like a huge weight was on my chest. I cut my leg with a razor blade that I’m going to take to school just in case. The past couple days I’ve been numb. I can’t feel a thing. I’m so depressed recently. I’ve stopped eating as much as I used to, and I rarely laugh. I was […]
fuck it. it seems two of my posts have been removed. Why they would leave the last be, is beyond me, seeing as they all deal with suicide. I cannot comprehend why this topic is so taboo. What good will come of this censorship. The right way to move forward would be to have an open and constructive discussion. Whatever, it just bums me out. I can’t even find my drafts, so all is lost. and they were fine posts, with comments from people showing interest (or sarcasm).
So in the last month I’ve tried to commit suicide three times and have been in the hospital twice. I admitted myself and was there for 72 hrs the first time which didn’t help at all.. the second time they really tried to help and it did for a day or so. They diagnoised me as being Borderline Personality Disorder and honestly I can really see that in myself but now that I’ve studied it and see what I really am it brings me down even more. And I’ve hid all these deep feelings even the thought of being suicidal for over 15 yrs but […]
I cant fuck up my suicide again but im getting out of this world tonight.
I’ve been married now for almost 5 years. I live in a state without my immediate family. I have tried to make friends, but it always seems like I end up with the selffish ones. I Never thought moving to a new state would make it so hard to find a place where I can fit in. I try to make friends so I can have someone to hangout with or talk to when I need a friend. It is so hard to use my out of state family, because I don’t want them to worry about me if something is hurting me.
Lately, I […]
Do you ever get the feeling where you don’t feel dark or especially depressed, but your mind is fixated on suicide and it’s never far from the front of your thoughts? You’re able to function just fine and you don’t feel any sadder than usual, it’s just that you’re constantly planning and thinking about your own death no matter how hard you try to distract yourself.
That’s how I feel right now, and have felt for the past 2 years pretty much non stop. And it scares me, because I can’t help but wonder if this is all I am now, all I’m going to be. […]
There’s no better than crying out.
When you cry out to God, something happens.
Tell him all you really feel, your fear.
Try to listen DRAW ME CLOSE TO YOU by HILLSONG, and try to write anything on a paper and keep it, that’s what i always do at home, every night.
Thanks for reading. Some other time I will post again.
My name is Jane.
You may response here or email me @ possitive2013@gmail.com :))
I have been thinking more frequently about killing myself day by day. And finally when it seems like I have a perfect plan and can end everything I am know doubting whether I should or not.
The last time I attempted, I was positive it was the right thing to do. I wanted to be gone forever and had thought it all the way through.
This time I am unsure yet still feel that I need to follow through. My life is pointless, I am not going to contribute to society. I don’t do anything. After attempting and being put in a psych ward my work […]
It’s 4pm and I’m sitting here drinking liquid courage. I guess I’m just looking for suicidal people to talk to at this moment, because I like you lot.
I feel like you get it. Thanks.
Even though I’m more of a lurker, I’ve enjoyed the words I’ve had with some of you. You make me feel less crazy.
I feel like I snapped today, and now I should just get it over with. Because everyone thinks I’m mad at them but I’m not. I’m just mad at myself. And I wish I wasn’t out of tequila.
I guess I’m seeking a distraction right now.
Why I choose to die:
I am an emotional drain on myself and everyone around me.
I feel stuck like this will always be my life, it will never get better.
My husband feels trapped with me; like he is stuck with me because of the kids. I feel the same with him.
I am a horrible mother; there is no positive thinking technique that will convince me otherwise, even if the depression is the reason. There is no excuse for not being able to stand being around my children.
I can’t provide the love to them that I so desperately needed growing up […]
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder two years ago. I took drugs and went through therapy, and I did end up feeling better. But for the past 6 months or so, when I’ve been alone with just myself, I’ve been incredibly suicidal. I can’t talk to anyone about it, because they’ll just put me back in the hospital, but I’ve been through all that, and obviously it’s not helping anymore, if it ever did at all. When I’m around other people, I’ll generally have a good time, but as soon as all distractions are gone, I’m back to suicide. I don’t have a difficult life, I’m […]
Hello. I am 21 years old and an old friend to depression. I believe I have always been depressed. In middle school and high school, I had no close friends. I have gone one date in my entire life. I am not academically gifted given the fact that I have no willpower. Three quarters ago, I had a 4.0 in college and now I have a 3.06. I feel inferior to my sister who has always been better at me at everything. My brother doesn’t give a shit about me at all and has attacked me on some of my issues. I have been to a counselour and a psychologist. Every time I talked […]
i have never been the one to believe in suicide, but the feeling of this hurt is overwhelming. its almost like i cant breathe. im a 30ish something female, and i have a great career, children, family and friends. my husband left me earlier this year and my entire life was flipped upside down. i never saw it coming. i later found out that he was indulging in activities with another female. i was a good wife and my family is everything to me. i didnt do anything to deserve this. i dont eat, i have taken time off of […]
I feel like the world is ending and I’m just sitting here, watching.
I tried to kill myself again. Didn’t work, again.
I feel like I have no future what so ever and never will. I can’t see myself getting married or having kids although maybe deep inside me I would want to.
I don’t understand what is wrong with me and why I’m like this. I’m just going through phases. One moment I am happy and full of energy and I’m overreacting with everything and then one little comment or action changes everything completely. I am depressed and all I can think about is […]
To the world that once existed, beyond the fingertips of a women’s hand upon a man’s shoulder. Beyond the crisp eyes of a child in the middle of a city, lost, cold, and unknown of their surroundings. I am writing to you because, I, myself, am lost; lost in a miserable state of mind trapped in your solid box that some may call their home. My life is without water; without moisture. I am in need of essence, reassurance, liveliness. I need the compassion that you solemnly lack. You, give me nothing but the desperate need for air. […]
For awhile now I have thought of suicide alot. Its not somehting I want to do but im at a point to where its something im really starting to think about and cant help it. I been reading on hypoxic death and it seems the best way to go. I wasnt able to breathe well for about 7 months and then after feeling well for about a month something else happened….I have somehting wrong in my head and I cant think right. I call it brain fog but its affecting me more than I can tell anyone or even put into words. Its ruining my […]
So I’ve been suffering from depression for a little over 3 years now. My Girlfriend of two years broke up with me well over a year ago. Sob story blah blah. When that happened I threatened suicide, cops, recovery ward for a week. A couple months later, police again, suicide ward. That was over a year ago. Today, and I am not shitting you I decided my life was finally just about turned around. This of course was a slow moving process. Very… Slow. Guess what happens a few hours ago? She texts me! I’m finally about over this and she texts me! After a […]
I am going all out here, ive tryed 3 times to end my life, yet the method didnt work… err and a year ago i bought a gun, and go figure a week later somebody stole it, everytime i try to kill myself, somthing tryes to stop me..but sorry, god cant stop my suicide abymore, i am departing very soon, i have new methods, im just wainting on funds… i cant wait to die, i have my arrangements made already the only problem is where do i do it, my house,hotel,or what? In the mean time im on a sex co pade..lol all i […]