I can count it even 3 if the flat tire would not have happen. Today was the most serious attempt of them all, before i just attached the rope on the tree and put the knot over my neck, but today i jumped and stroke the ground. 2 of the branches broke and i was up on my toes with failed attempt. Then i tried to put the rope higher and i failed again because some mother f***er drove on the road with his dirt bike and i had to came down and drive away because i think he had called me cops or something. […]
Tag:
Suicide
I’m one of those people that like to pay attention to detail, so natrually I found everything wrong about myself. I’d lie awake at night thinking about all the things I might have done wrong that day and saying to myself “God, you’re an idoit” Whenever someone complimented me, I always thought “they’re just saying that to spare my feelings, they don’t really like me” And i’ll admit, I’m pretty fucked up in the head.
Self harming, or cutting. What a concept man, I love it. Nothing feels better then thinking you can just cut away all these imperfections. And thats what I did. And it […]
There is honestly no space on my wrists anymore. There’s no space left on my thighs. I hate purging. I hate starving. I hate eating. I hate not being good enough. I just wonder why I bother. Such a young age, & I’ve already attempted suicide. It hurts waking up, it hurts to smile, I just hate everyone. I’m so pathetic I disgust myself, I hate my bipolar, self-harmer, anorexic, bullimic self.
I started cutting in 5th grade. I always thought of trying to commet suicide but I was always to scared to try because i thought how will my parents feel ? When i got in the 6th grade things got worse I moved to a new town and my parents got divored and I didnt know anyone in this town, but i knew one person and they knew me to but not in a good way. It all started on facebook I met him and he looked cute but I never met him in person so I thought I would lie to my friends and […]
Yes life can be difficult, I won’t deny that. We do go through our good times and bad times. Ive had depression for 2 years and still trying to heal from it. I used to cut myself, which eventually made me feel worse. I never really had friends that I could talk to, so basically I thought that I was complettely alone. Then I realized that i’m not, because I have people at my church that I can talk to and God. Oh btw i’m 15 and my name is Deana. For the people suffering from depression try to look at all the positive stuff […]
So guys I know most the stuff posted on this site is depressing but I wanted to tell you about a friend of mine. He shot himself point blank in the forehead. Luckily people found him just a few minutes later and he was still alive. He was rushed to the hospital and put in ICU. Somehow either miraculously or whathaveyou he survived. No, he is not a vegetable either, actually now that inearly 6 months have passed, he is having conversations, standing up, solving difficult puzzles and going through physical and mental therapy. I hope to god […]
I google the web trying to find something good that I can latch on to - something that tells me how I can escape the thoughts I have that life has no purpose. I find this site – register – the email comes thru…. thoughts become reality as I look at my in-box and the password is there…. confirmation: I’m messed up.
I am so tired – tired of life. I wish it over and the pain gone. eat, sleep, work, emptyness – the cycle of pain repeats. I want to hide – I avoid work, I avoid people and I regress further. How come I only have unfulfilled dreams and I’m stuck in […]
Its not even funny anymore why am I getting into these difficult situations and being blamed for shit which i havnt done.
First thing that happened recently is my ‘best’ friend turned around one day and just told me to go away and to never talk to her again…. I was like ok? wth… so anyways a couple of days later i talked to her again and she starts that crap again telling me to fuck off.. by now I’m like what the fuck have I done… So I ask someone else and they say I apparently I was taking about my friend behind her back… […]
So i know this might get annoying but i think im going to start posting on here. My parents always find my diary so im going to just vent and hope for the best….
IÂ throw up alot now……
Cuttting isnt so bad
Also suicide has kicked back in
may 29
I’m thinking that if I do commit suicide, it would be pills. I’m afraid that I will puke them up though, but there are a lot around me house so if I take a ton of different ones it might work.
What a watchful eye. Not a moment is there just for myself.
Those who I confide in my outer most opinion know nothing of my inner pain or what I really think. Those who I have believe I can share this with are no longer the high points of my life. I’m too personal, well I would if anyone took the interest. No one wants the opinion of a 16 year old with all the gadgets and a loving girlfriend. He has the life, what’s to complain about. IM ALONE! I’m fucking alone damnit! What do you care? You don’t! Bu still I will listen […]
Tomorrow is my judgement day
The day I’ll see if I will live
Because finals start on Wednesday
And I’ve given all I have to give
If I fail a final I fail the class
That will be the end if that
I’ll just commit suicide
And die
Tomorrow I find out if I can take the stress
That has been building up inside me
The last time finals came around
I wound up in The Oaks
Tomorrow i find out if my best friend is going to leave me
And never speak my name again
Once again I do know
I won’t be able to take […]
Dammit I hate my grandparents!! I gotta get the he’ll out. I don’t even care about Florida right now. I need a fuckin escape, suicide, drugs, anything. Fuck life fuck people (not you guys… Sorry) fuck me. I don’t know why I’m still here. I’m a burden, a waste, and worthless. They won’t let me forget that. Shit I need an escape.
hi, i’m only new on this site and this is my first post, i am a teenager and i often feel depressed and i cut myself i planned out my suicide and the note i would leave for my family but i never actually decided to go ahead with it. i get really depressed and everything seems 2 bring me down even when i’m happy i’m down i hope some people can relate 2 this and understand it. its like when i cut myself i can release emotions and i know i sound crazy but i don’t know who to talk to i hide my marks from […]
I have known for a long time that my death would be at my own hands. This has never been a passing whim. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t want to die. I suppose that makes me a coward because I can’t face life. My fear of suicide is only that I will be unsucessful. I am house bound and have very little access to means to end my life and no one will see it my way and help me. My biggest regret is that I had children. I should have been more carefull with birth control because no child deserves a […]
I am so fed up with seeing and hearing, It gets better. DO I CARE?! if it gets better for you, great. I am even happy you don’t feel down anymore, but I DO!! the only way things will get better is by suicide. people claim to care, but they lie. they all lie. i have been betrayed and lied to so much in such a short time span i can’t even trust my own dad!
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person.. thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
by niki
written by niki
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
Im not sure why this website appeals to me. Or even why any depression and suicide things appeal to me. Its just so addicting. As weird as it sounds…Its kind of beautiful. Not suicide its self..but idk how to explain. Beautifully depressing would be the best way to explain it.
I hate my life.
In school i am bullied.
 And my dad is an Alcoholics, my mom has cancer.Â
My only friend died last year (she was a dog).
 And SO MUCH MORE. It is just so much pain and i have no one to talk to and i have tried to commit suicide two times. But my sister cut me in the act. I just think that if i dont die now it will only get worse. And I would not want that.
I’m 29, almost 30.
You could say, I’ve lived half my life.
I spent most of it depressed and thinking of ways to end my life…but little did I know, that I was destined for something great and amazing.
I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I am telling you that there IS hope, and better days are around the bend.
I never knew my real father, my mother is an alcoholic, and I pratically raise five of my siblings from the time I was eight years old. I was molested twice, neither person was charged or convicted, so you could say my mother failed to […]