Despite being around such “happy” people, I cant help but feel lonely and empty. A person who I thought of as a brother died in the Summer and while everyone else is still upset about him, I am the only person who can’t let go. I just can’t. I still cry myself to sleep evey night.
I do hope one day I’ll succeed in my suicide attempts. Then both of us can be at… Peace. I just wish that would happen. All my problems, along with me, would just float away.
Tag:
Suicide
   As I’ve spoken about in previous posts, I’ve had depression, anxiety and paranoid delusions for most of my life and it’s not easy to live with, especially the depression.
    For me, at 11 years old it began with a deep sadness that just never seemed to lift. It spiralled pretty quickly and I began to spend an awful lot of time alone in my bedroom. I felt as though I was the loneliest person in the world because nobody could really relate to what I was feeling. The thing that got to me most was that some people would say things like, “you’re […]
My name is Emily and this is my story. July 29,2011, 3 month anniversary with my boyfriend Ian. My best friends Mia, Maria, & planned to go to a Rangewide and meet our boyfriends there to hang out. We went, our boyfriends never showed up. No big deal, girl time. Well, the dance got boring and I told Mia and Maria I was gonna go hang out with Ian. I told them to call me later to meet up again. I got to my boyfriends house to find him very drunk, his brother had a party. I put him to bed and we cuddled and […]
My name is Rodney ,
When I was born my father didn’t except having a son and left my mum all alone my omother tried to abort me but then an 11 year old boy at church told her not to. I really dnt belive in Miracles.
As I got to the age of 2 my mum would just leave me alone home in darkness going out with different men. My childhood was awful I saw some things that have scard my life By the time I was 5 years old I could not speak so I had to do surgery it only made my life worse […]
If you’re reading this you’re probably in some type of pain… You may be having a bad day, you may have self harmed, you may have skipped a meal or thrown one up, you may have made some horrible mistakes today, but guess what?? Â You’re still alive & I’m so proud of you for that. I guarantee suicide went through your head at least once today but you had the strength to overcome the urge… that’s amazing. You’re amazing. If no one can be proud of you for that, think of me. A complete stranger who couldn’t be happier that you’re alive. We all make […]
I have nothing to look forward to.
I have it all planned out.
It would work this time.
I have no friends.
It was confirmed yesterday.
Do you remember several weeks ago when I said that I hadn’t killed myself because I was afraid of disappointing two people?
My art teacher and my track coach.
But I have ruined that now.
And I have disappointed both of them.
Neither of them have any particular interest in me anyways.
I have no idea what to do with my life.
No one to help me.
No one who genuinely cares.
No one who has said that they love me in a long, long time.
It would be so easy.
Easy and […]
I won’t stress enough on how I’m trying to get the point across that suicide isn’t a phase. I really need you guys to help me with that. After I am going to post a link to why I am doing. This is important. Please message me with your stories. I know it’s a lot to ask but it’s important to me. I again I really want to get that point a cross. Please help me get people to realize things. If you have friends who can help in my journey, tell them to message me. This is OUR opportunity to open people’s eyes.
Naiomyhernandez@gmail.com
I feel torn between wanting to commit suicide and trying to see the brighter side . I feel sensitive lately(quite a switch from being irritable)and have been feeling very critical of myself I don’t know why, I don’t even feel like I deserve help. I
Today I was told I should committee suicide by a complete stranger who knows nothing about me… I really don’t know what to think nor what to feel.
I still need stories for help with my personal project. My project is to get the true meaning of suicide. To show its not a joke. Message me with any stories. Youre name is private and it stays between us. Please Help me with it.
Naiomyhernandez@gmail.com
I am going more then school drama…
Everyday I thinks bout the motel..
I was trapped ina room..
Kidnapped…
I managed to get out late the first night..
It was a miracle..
Untouched..
Nobody knows..
I never told eneunoddy..
Everybody would judge me..
Tease me..
That’s how they are here…
I was gone two days…
Had to walk to find out where I was..
How far home was..
Nobody knew …
Nobody cared…
I hate my life..
I have much more going on then this in my life…
I have suicide thoughts…
Nobody is there for me..
Nobody’s helping me..
no real friends..
No real family..
There was this perosssn who spread fake rumors about me the second day of school..
Ruined me..
Everyone makes fun of me..
Everyday…
I have to deal […]
   Something that I’ve learned recently is that when somebody very close to you passes away, the process of grieving that we human go through never really goes away and it can come back at any moment and smack you down hard.
Â
    On July 24th 2008, the day after my 23rd birthday, my dad was diagnosed with ‘Small Cell Lung Cancer’ and it was devastating to my family. He’d had a pain in his shoulder and when he had gone to the doctors they suspected pneumonia. With the confirmation of cancer, he was told they could not cure it but could prolong his […]
I feel so stupid. yesterday i didn’t go to school, and so i was in my room, and i lit my candle. A piece of paper fell into it and caught on fire. I not thinking, grabbed it and got out of my room. I ended up with 2nd degree burns on my thumb. I feel great. My bf was at school today to turn in his books and say goodbye. He really isn’t coming back and i told myself that im stupid for actually thinking that his sister was wrong and he was coming back.
I really just want to escape […]
Well… I am on my way to do it again. Hope this one is the one.
by notgosuicide
written by notgosuicide
I am going down in the basement to hang myself. I am fed up! Really fed up! In this world you give a heart and your beloved give you back a stone. How can you live this way…. If you want to leave comments go on my suicide blog… At least, I will leave something that people will be able to read after me.http://notgosuicide.blogspot.ca/
Ok… I have made an attempt to hang myself few weeks ago and I did not have the courage to step down the chair I was on…. If only I could do it, I would not be suffering today. Yesterday, I started a blog where I write all I feel about suicide and my depression. http://notgosuicide.blogspot.ca/
I am so disappointed that I do not have support from my family (wife especially). She (like most of the people) does not understand that I am not selfish neither I do it in purpose to be such depressed. All she says is that she’s fed up and tired (ok, […]
We are the future of us all
we are the generation who is destined to fall
we are the present’s invokable call
we can’t be heard through the last generations wall
we destroy ourselves without remorse
we set sail on an unchangeable course
our parents have made us who we are
they have locked us up behind concrete and bar
suicide and drugs seem our only escape
we all go out with chalk lines and yellow tape
all victims of depression and anger
some are popular some the more stranger
we all grow up whether we want to or not
because […]
I wrote this poem directly after a emotional conversation with my parents and the familytherapist. It was the first conversation and therapy with my parents and the therapist.
Like you have to hold your own mirror in front of you.
So you can see all those negativities.
You have to face them,
but you don’t want it because it only takes you down.
Makes you more depressed and more negative than before,
but it’s the only way to face it.
It’s the only way to get rid of those negativities.
But the fact you want to die more than you did before is the […]
I’m a girl, a teen, and I’ve been considering suicide for the last 5 months. I live with my mother, only child, never met my father. I wouldn’t say we’re poor, but we don’t have things like typical families have, car, house, etc. We live in a apartment with 1 bedroom and living room, kitchen and bathroom. I have about 7 different things I can wear. I don’t own anything special.
Ever since I was 6 years old I’ve been very smart, and I’ve been praised for it. My mother got together with a man when I was 5, so we moved somewhere so that we […]
Somebody in my philosophy class last semester suggested that maybe life is hell. She said, look at all the suffering and pain, doesn’t it seem sort of hellish the things that so many people have to go through? I didn’t know what to think then but now I believe her. This feels like hell, it hurts like hell. The emotional pain I have experienced as a result of depression is absolutely indescribable. There are no words. The feeling of wanting to die is so strong at times that it terrifies me. I know I am capable of acting on it. But I can’t, because I […]
I have an important assignment for school, that I NEED to do today, it’s already like a week late, and it basically determines if I graduate from high school. But I can’t work on it. My mind is reeling, it’s not ordered, it’s not focused, its all over the place. I NEED to do this assignment but I can’t. I just keep thinking about all my fuckups. I keep remembering the last time I was happy, and I want to go back there. I want to but I can’t it’s in the past and I can’t get it back. I’ve been so unhappy for so […]