Sunrise this morning as seen from offshore the east coast of Florida.
Enjoy.
Fish bit well too.
BIG stuff.
Enjoying my last days….
Tag:
Sunrise
Well I’m here at the lake, just me my gun and what’s left of this case of rocky tops. For once I’m finally at peace, I watched the sunrise an set an besides that I’ve done absolutely nothing today and loved it. I’m ready this time no panic, no fear everything is just dare I say peaceful. My heart is pounding as I write these last words but not racing just steady hard pumps, I’m a bit anxious with anticipation about what’s going to happen after I pull the trigger so I’ve sat aside any preconceived notions about the after life and just take it […]
I’m only alive because
of the smell of blacktop on a humid day after
it rains; and rain itself—thunderstorms
lightning thrills like riding in the car with
my brother; loud music of the
“i don’t give a fuck” type
and running; holding breath dizzy
passing out on grass–wet grass; alcohol
burning my mouth–tingling and drugs;
the feeling of living that isn’t
real and sunrise; a new beginning fresh start
clean sheets; white pure and snow; dark quiet
night–talking, skater boys; in the park smoking
under the gazebo; stars bright—Orion
finding trees in the stars because
I am dead
on the inside;
the smell of cold—death; […]
Save me
But I don’t trust you
Save me
But do I care?
Miles deep is my sea
Filled with hopeless confusion,
Invisible demons,
Dancing to their own wicked tune.
Or at least, that’s how it seems.
I could never begin to describe it to you
This hell, this pain,
Depression so unrelenting
I want nothing of this world,
It wants nothing of me
It’s only demand.. is truly so simple
To live. To love. To breathe
So why does the thought bring tears to my eyes?
Why does the sunrise make me weep?
You say its all worth it in the end
Just try your best to […]
I am in my late 20s, in a lesbian relationship, and diagnosed borderline personality disorder and have depression. I’ve been going to therapy for a few months and have been taking my meds as prescribed.
I have a degree in psychology and a Masters degree in forensic psychology. I enjoy running, surfing, basketball, snowboarding, and wakeboarding. I love my family.
My mother is understanding and supportive, as are my younger siblings. I also have some support from a few good friends.
However, my relationship is a chaotic rollercoaster and I can’t bare it anymore. The anger and pain have disolved my strength to keep going.
At […]
The realization that there are so many options that I can never have, no desires in the world, alive because I am not dead. All false hope I cast away to find the truth, I destroyed all normal development, social skills, parties, life. I am getting closer, closer to responsibility that I will never upheld. I am truly broken, unable to feel joy, the beautiful sunrise seen through faded eyes. Unable to be fixed, I accept death before symptom management.
what a life i have. my parents with there sharp tongues and quick jokes. such bullshit they know the impact they have on me its ridicilous i honestly dont know how ive made it this far. and to think when i was 9 years old being called a mother fucked by your own mother who didnt care who didnt think that would do anything to her son. what stopped me from pulling that knife quick across my throat, there are good things in this world but in my case they come rare and often stay short. bits of happiness for me was looking at the […]