I am in my late 20s, in a lesbian relationship, and diagnosed borderline personality disorder and have depression. I’ve been going to therapy for a few months and have been taking my meds as prescribed.
I have a degree in psychology and a Masters degree in forensic psychology. I enjoy running, surfing, basketball, snowboarding, and wakeboarding. I love my family.
My mother is understanding and supportive, as are my younger siblings. I also have some support from a few good friends.
However, my relationship is a chaotic rollercoaster and I can’t bare it anymore. The anger and pain have disolved my strength to keep going.
At sunrise tomorrow, I want to try to end it all. Im not sure which method but maybe by hibachi.
I’ve been reading this site for a few months. This is my first and probably last post.
3 comments
No. Hang in there. You have too much going for you to throw it away like that.
Gotta lose some to win some. Suicide and your girlfriend will get something great out of it. Jk you gotta have some negative shit to get good outta it. There may be a prize or not. Just hold on as long as possible. Unless you’re a ***** like me and you just can’t bear to kill yourself and too lazy anyways to do anything.
The good thing about this website are the responses to posts like this….
By posting what you did you are really calling out for one last moment of help. Well we are here, we all understand where you are at the moment and we want to help.
So don’t do it today- nor tomorrow, find a councilor (one that actually helps) and get long term help. If you cannot say to your therapist that you feel this way then you don’t have a great relationship with them – find another.
I have been going to counseling for a long time (4 years maybe) and it is still hard – I am not on medication – but I know where you are coming from. I have signed a non-suicide pact with my councilor and my husband – one that I can only retract in writing – it has helped – they no longer bother me all the time and I am getting on with my life – but it is hard, every day it is hard.
you have people who care about you – stick with them – you are (like me) lucky. But I really believe in long term help – but you have to give them time. I started with a year – i gave them one year to help me – then it was not so bad for a while so they got another year, then another – and that works for me – find something, anything that works for you.