… Sometimes i wish that this is all just a dream, but sometimes i wish that i don’t want to live in sin.
Many times disapointed, but I still stand tall.
Waiting for a miracle to bring me up. My eyes are seen my own truth in the world full of lies, oh God is there Hope for us, for us? Similar souls who try so hard – To live lie … I saw everythin but still stuck in prison wearing a chains, oh god can you hear me now? Where are you, i still wanna touch the edge of the greatness but i can’t […]
Tag:
the world
I wish,
oh how I wish I had the strength to bring my breath to a stop,
I’m stuck between my loved ones and death,
And they don’t suspect my last breath.
— I wish i had the strength to kill myself, but I cant, because no one knows what death is like. So many religions around the world have their own ideals and perspectives. Some I used to follow till they yelled, stared down at me, ignore me, bullied me and drove me into the smallest corner of the church to hide. Til’ my family was done with their business there. Â Sometimes my sister would sit next to […]
i realized i’m very self centered.
i’m all about me. i feel like the world should stop and help me fix all my feelings. but that never happens nor will it ever.
i’m a broken record reiterating my problems, feelings and concerns to the world expecting help or consolation.
screw it
This world is a dreadful, putrid place, where parents destroy the hearts of children, babies are stolen and murdered, schools are shot to shit, people are belittled and berated, and innocent animals are tortured. I often ask myself what happened, why has the world come to this? And people don’t even take notice to the horrors of the world, it is like they are blind. They say ignorance is bliss and I suppose it is. I watch people and I think of squirrels, they run around so blissful and free, unaware of the impending doom of the approaching car. We are not blind. I have […]
I have no gripe with the basic design of the animal known Homo sapiens. It has an impressive free range of motion, adaptability, fingers which allow it to perform delicate tasks as well as arms which provide strength, and it has a brain that is capable of some logic as well as emotional thoughts. And while not quite as impressive in this regard as, say, Canis lupus familiaris (the dog), it has some capacity for selflessness and dedication to things other than itself.
On an individual basis, Homo sapiens is a decent design. But when people start acting like people, that’s when this decent design falls […]
I’ve decided to create an account today, because it is my final attempt to have my voice heard. Efforts will be made to console and reassure me that the world of hell that I’ve been imprisoned in for twenty-two years is worth living; I’m beyond approach. I’m a girl who was born into a highly dysfunctional family, to a mother who showed nothing more than apathy towards me, to a fatherless home. That’s not why I’m here. My upbringing didn’t bring me to the place that I’m at right now.
My mother died when I was in twelfth grade and the depression and underlying psychological […]
Little girls, little boys, crying in the corner why can’t you see?
the words written on your skin.
These the words that make you bleed.
they make it so no one wins or succeeds.
All alone in the world, that’s how you see.
that’s how it might be.
So sacred, you want to be left alone.
but it’s so addicting, the things we can create.
The words written, the words hidden.
under jeans and sweaters too big.
this is the life we live.
The cuts, the red lines so addicting
the days so stressful, and cruel
Parents screams, telling you what’s wrong with you.
our only escape, […]
I’ve been struggling for so long now. The depression started at age 13 and never ceases. At age 17 I attempted suicide and after nearly needing a liver transplant, I survived. I committed to give it several more years to see if it gets better. It doesn’t.
My life is easier than 99% of the world. I wish I could take my life and let a North Korean have my opportunity. I’m fairly good looking, smart, and athletic; but I never cease wishing I were dead. I know I was happy as a kid, but I can’t really remember it. It’s been so long. Many people […]
I’m not sure if I really want to die.
I think about it. Killing myself, I mean. It’s not healthy. I know that, but I still do it. I hurt myself, even though the logical part of me says, “Stop!”. That part of me tells me to get help, to talk to someone. But, the other parts of me, the scared, lonely, and tired parts of me, they say not to. That it’s better that they don’t know.
I don’t want to hurt the people I care about by showing them all the messed up screws in me.
I don’t want them to see all […]
1. Try to fit in. If successful, hooray. Skip the rest of this manual and have a wonderful damned life.
2. If you don’t fit in, try harder.
3. If you come to the realization that you can’t fit in, that you are flawed or damaged, or even more astutely if you realize that the world itself is flawed and damaged beyond your ability to tolerate it, then pull up a seat and read the rest of this manual.
4. Convince yourself that you are the problem. This certainly won’t fix anything, nor will it make your life any more bearable, but it may distract you enough to […]
The famous poem goes
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
But I can’t say I agree. I refuse to “whimper” out. Never have and never will. I haven’t always won my battles (Christ knows I haven’t), I haven’t always fought bravely against my enemies. But I’ve NEVER rolled over and taken it.
And Life is my greatest enemy. I will not roll over and take it, like so many […]
I remember looking into the mirror and being disgusted at the pitiful, worthless person I saw before me. I loathed myself, everything about myself. I was fearful of the world around me and felt suffocated by the pain that I had endured. My life meant nothing, I was nothing.
Now I sit here reading all of these posts, all of these reflections of me and my heart bleeds. I remember not so long ago feeling this way. Planning my death and thinking about how my suicide would be successful this time around if I did it this way or that way.
After something particularly devastating […]
TLDR: 20+ years old, moved abroad to meet online friends, did something silly and now debating whether or not to leave cause I’m happy as fuck here but if I go home (and make the people here happy) I’ll spiral back down.
Hi everyone, first post. I’ve read this forum for months while trying to constantly claw myself back up from rock bottom, and I thought I did (temporarily) until I came into this problem.
I’m in my early 20s and moved across the world to be a nanny. I was studying at home, working, and just felt like a drone. I had met a few friends […]
I am an inspiration to many both here and in my life outside. I am a preachers son, and expected to act like what I am not. I am looked upon with judging eyes everyday. I am an inspiration to the church, showing teens aren’t all the world says they are. I am an inspiration to my friends by always trying to make them happy before me. They see me as a person who will do anything to help them. I am an inspiration to my family. I have 6 siblings. One is a drama girl, the next an attitude awkward child, and the rest […]
Your heart so hard and cold
The tears I hold as you all laugh at me.
Others not moving an inch, standing where they may
Your words so filled with silly hate.
Your hate is jealousy in the purest form.
I smile and pretend that the words don’t cut like knives.
That I can’t hear the little whispers in the halls
I don’t understand what I did.
I just want it to end, I want it to end here and now
Your hate is your poison and you choking on it.
Every breath you take, hate
Every move you make, hate
Every look you give, and […]
Since i was young i have felt a sense of belonging. I was the Football star even went to college of it. Was in the military and served in crazy places, then I was a Police officer. Now i cant see what the next step is. is it possoble that you can feel accomplished like HERO or that you have done everything. Now i feel like the world is getting smaller that verybody is covered in Bullshit or waiting for a pat on the back and thats the only reason they try. what if your back is covered with hands and you want them all […]
To whom it may concern,
I wish i was a better story teller to describe why i am where i am today. But all i can really think of to share is the present moment. I am a 28 year old male with a fantastic dog great girlfriend low rent and seemily great life. The problem is no job… without a job means i will be forced to give away my dog lose my girlfriend home and great life style. Happiness has a price. I am finally realizing that it cost money to breathe and live in this world. Without a job to gain money i […]
I had the worst nightmare last night.
Some of you remember a post about me having a stillborn baby girl.
So beautiful.
Anyways, I had a dream last night that the world was being overtaken by primates. Sounds crazy but hang in there. Primates of all kinds. Orangutans, monkeys, chimps, gorillas, etc. they ran around screeching and destroying anything within reach. Meanwhile the sky was grey with only a few streetlights to reveal the streets. Before the “invasion†I was at home in bed with my boyfriend, very pregnant might I add, and proceeded to go into labor. The fastest and best labor in the world in my […]
Brief History: I am a 24 year old male. I have had Major Depressive Disorder since a very young age. I began to have suicidal thoughts around the age of eight years old. At first it scarred me because my life seemed to be perfect. I was adopted into a loving caring wealthily family who supported me in every way. as time went on I saw numerous therapists, and continued to go to school. I was miserable but still had some hope that it would turn around. I had friends and was playing varsity sports and seemed on the outside to be fine. even made […]
To those who are thinking of killing thelmselves ….STOP…take a moment to consider the reality of what will happen. Suicide is the single most selfish thing you could do. The pain you feel right now will not be gone, it will simply be transferred to the people you leave behind. They will never have a chance to say “I love you” again, they will never have a chance to give you a hug or a pat on the back for something good you may not have even known you were doing, they will never have a chance to tell you a joke and see your beautiful and unique […]