I’m angry and anxious 24/7. I think about killing people all the time. Usually the homeless; no one would miss them in their absence. Sometimes children–isn’t the world overpopulated enough? I hate what I’ve become. Even my cat isn’t safe. I feel like I’m losing my soul to madness.
think
So I think about suicide. I have been thinking about it for years now.
My biggest problem is when someone lies to your face and tells you that its weird to think about suicide. To make a decision on if you do so or not is based on ideas, opinions, or thoughts about suicide.
So yes I do think about suicide everyday. Which isn’t entirely too bad of a thing. For one it led me to this site. To make a decision on not to kill oneself also requires some serious thought. Weighing different outcomes, and evaluating ones life is necessary.
I apologize if I am rambling, but […]
I think I need glasses cause I keep seeing some people with two faced… >.<"
I hate two faced people.
It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first…
I really i’m kind of confused about this. It’s a suicide project, and even when I definitely don’t want to hurt or kill myself, I feel like i’m dying slowly. My disease is tedium, a horrible boredom that I can’t wash away. The worse thing is probably that I can’t explain what I feel, the best expression probably is: I feel like a scab.
I was looking for some help, but the thing is how can somebody help me if even I can’t tell what is going on. It’s probably the nearest thing to “nothing”. “Nothing” is taking away anything from me. So I went […]
Hey I’m new to this website and I think I might be in the right place. So a little bit about myself… Well, I’m a cutter and I have tried suicide about 5 times already. My mom told me that if I really wanted to die, I would have succeeded already. And my dad told me that he would help me by getting the pills or talking to a doctor to put me down… So, I might make rants or post the suicide notes/letters I wrote on here. Maybe if I try again, I’ll post. Anyway, bye everyone… For now.
Today I started to cut. It feels like the right thing to do. I was going to do it on my arms but I decided to do it on my hip instead. The pain is bad but the cuts are good, though I feel like a mess. I keep shaking every time it think about self harm, it’s like the shakes you have when you’re cold, they’re hard to stop. My hip is badly hurting now. I’ve had racial comments made at me today. Some by my “friends’” boyfriend, but her and all her friends that were supposed to me my friends are sticking up […]
i dont know
what to say
the blinking cursor
is taunting me
its a blank page
a brand new post
what do i write?
do i write how i am?
do i write how you are?
do i write whatever?
i dont know really
i guess my message
for today,
that is within this poem
is;
im going to stop posting.
i cant take it
i have made more people
worry about me
more people think i matter
more people care about me
more people to bring pain to
when i say my final Au Revoir
its hurting me too
I want to find suicidal people in real life that I could have contact with. I just don’t know how!! It would be so great to have suicide societies where people who want to end their lives could get together, have open discussions, gather supplies, share advice, meet partners, and support each other. People this should be a basic right but its all criminalized. It’s all criminalized because of goddamned godless moral busybodies in the society that think it is their right to force everybody else to live. So what is this- a hollow dream? Just shows how unevolved the human race really is, that […]
Old man walks through a cemetery
We see the stone, he falls to his knees
Fingers claw the grass as tears fall
The picture of despair, he holds his head
I look at him
The dead man would always hurt him
Why then, so much grief?
I would not respect a monster so much
I always think of the two men, living and dead
The living man would always hurt me
He took my childhood, my desire for life
But I think of what he did for his tormentor
And I wonder,
When he’s dead
Will I do the same?
I’ve been feeling depressed since high school. Seen therapists, seen psychiatrists, the one after another. I’m really just done with this. I started feeling extremely anxious and depressed at the start of December and longed to end this suffering for good. But I thought to myself: “Just give your family a nice x mas, then you can do what you need to do”. Did I do it? Well I’m sitting here right now. I have a bipolar friend and I’m the only one that he really has. The only one who understands his feelings and will stay and listen or just stay with him when […]
Hello.
Nobody really needs to see this, just read my username.
————
Why keep on going?
It’s just…… Everything is made out to mean the world to people when there are stars out there that are trillions of times larger than our planet. If anything, we’re just science’s little exception. People say that if we moved just a little closer to the sun, our planet could burst into flames. So why try anything?
this all started from reading some story, by the way.
I just don’t understand why we keep on working if everything is going to waste anyways. Maybe I’m just being a big ol’ douche, i dunno.
If we want […]
Dear ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’,
I’ve always hated you.  I’ve never trusted you with anything.  All you’ve ever done is beat and criticize me.  Hey mom, remember that time you accidentally threw me down the stairs when I was four?  Hey dad, do you remember that time I came back home from first grade one day and you started yelling and hitting me?  What about that time when I couldn’t go to school for a week in third grade because you burned my fucking arm?  You remember how making me scream in pain became a routine for you?  Do you both remember all those times you called me whore, […]
Tomorrow is another squadron meeting. I don’t think the chaplain would be a safe bet. my only friend suggested, if i treat the squadron like family, then I should tell at least someone, someone I could trust there. although I know and trust lots of them, there are a few I would never tell. example? My DCC. I’m really nervous, and if I even get the nerve to say anything, then I imagine they’d help me. Please, pray for me.
…..or perhaps just the long end of so many days not worth living. The pain always outweighss the little pleasures life has to offer, and i have reached my quota for rejection. I have a few methods at my disposal…..and i think i’ve always been a good multifunctioner, make sure this time. Notes all written, Â maybe some finishing touches to one or two……..but i’m ready and feel more peaceful than i have in ages. I just wanted to thank those who have been friendly and tried to help. See you on the flip side, lol.
It’s all over now. I think i’m happy!
I’ve done my first youtube video. Feel free to watch it if you have nothing else to do.
Sincerely,
Nobody915
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there’s no one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I’ve lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold […]
So here is my story. About a year ago,, I was diagnosed as being cancer free and returned to work. Ever since this has happened, my life has been very difficult when it comes to work. At work, Â my supervisor has been giving me a hard time about a lot of things. Â My supervisor put me on two final warnings. Â Then I work through three months of worry, high levels of anxiety, and feeling suicidal for days, weeks on end. Last week, after I got out of being on the warning for these two things by meeting goal for three months, they put me […]
Ok so it has been really hard for me to admit this but I’m a bad person! I do not care about anyone or anything?! I’m always and only worried about me! Its like I know im this evil person but I don’t do anything! I fear everything! I fear driving and dying I fear people not liking me when why should they I’m a fuck up and it’s like I know im a fuck up but I don’t do anything , I’ve been on this site before and read others posts but im so concerned with myself that I can’t even care and isn’t […]
some say it’s all hard work.
I say “willingness to work hard is part of genes”
Human species are just some random combinations of chemicals. No one knows the parameters considered in that combination ( may be the time your parents did “it” or mental state of your parents while doing “it” or the food your mom eaten in her earlier days or the pollution rate in the country,  perhaps combination of infinite parameters)
I call that combination as luck.
The set of problems we have are not real, they all part of chemical reactions in brain
Ex:
if you throw an apple iphone it broke and it remain broken: that is […]
I never asked to be here, nor did I ask to be a burden. You can only give so much of yourself before nothing left. I cant scream or clinch my fists anymore, you wanna talk bout it no one listens, or cares think its a joke. They say theirs light at the end of the tunnel but always stuck in reverse. Maybe finally get the balls to eat the bullet until then more waiting and wondering…