If you’re still out there, check your post from 12-12-14 for a comment from wth_ami that he added on 12-31-14. You and I seem to be “in the same place” and his comment applies to us both. I hope you are still with us, and just haven’t been posting. Its strange that I don’t care what happens to me, but after all you have apparently done for your family and country, I think your death would be a tragic waste. If anyone else has had contact with rea3366 can you post some info?
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us
Vibrations communicating the inner world of my soul
As it reaches out your ear runs towards the door.
Absorbed through the wood of the floor, muted by the rubber of your sole.
Dogs only see the food I have in my hand, but nevering caring when I fail.
Distractions are luxury I can never afford; when I can it’s always an empty shelf.
Let’s go for that walk, take us to remember the past, the place I broke the half filled glass.
Remind me of all those scars, down to every last shard, pick them up to reflect the moonless nights.
How long till I bleed out from a fragment I will […]
Nothing ages the soul faster than unrequited love. It consumes us the way waves would a bottle cast out to sea, with a message never to fall upon adoring eyes. Trapped and drowning in the voluminous expanse it’s easy –and almost expected– for one to give up. To take one last deep breath without the pressure of exhaling.
The choice to take one’s own life isn’t about attention or self mutilation, it’s the serenity that lies in being able to choose your last moment. The final page authored by you that lives on long after your book is closed. In some regard it’s truly the only way […]
I try to get over my depression and I feel better for some days but I go all over again from the beginning . I’m tired of life and I decided to suicide . I know this will be hard for my family and I will miss my sister so much because she is life for me and mom was always a perfect mother for us and my dad and my brother are my love . but sometimes we need to take hard decisions because I can’t stay in this depression
Hi I’m a little afraid to do this but here it goes.
My name is destine. Lately I’ve been depressed. I think it’s just everything . that’s been going on. I don’t live with my mom and dad. My mom passed a way tho. I lost contact with most of my friends and my family. Because my aunt and uncle. They adopted us. They would be really mean. Put me and down. And a lot of other things to me and my little brother. I’ve missed my old life with my mom still alive and everything.
ive been lost not knowing what to do. I’ve cut before […]
Every day of my life I think about suicide, even just in passing. I hear people talk about it as if the know a damn thing about how it feels to prefer the inky blackness of the nothing that comes after death over life. I have one person in this world that keeps me going and some days she’s what gets me up in the morning. I can’t be certain I deserve this fate or that I don’t deserve it, but I am aware that I have no choice in the matter. I’ll explain why I’m here in the first place though, I am an […]
My dad decided to yell and yell an yell and try to hit us all threaten to kill us then kicked us out now we’re back at the house I’m so tired of this if it weren’t for my boyfriend I don’t know what I’d do he is the only thing keeping me here he tries to help me but doesn’t know how I love him I love him so fucking much actual love not that stupid shit I thought was love. I want to get out of here but I can’t until I graduate. I’m moving in with him as soon as he gets […]
I hate those assholes. Last spring, all the classmates were supposed to have a beer after critique. Unbeknownst to us, over half of them went to a different place than agreed – just to blow us off. They gave a reason later but it was clearly an excuse. The place we were going to, they said was closed. WELL IT WASN’T. ASSHOLES!
Last spring, some of my friends formed a competition team while I was away for a week. When I’m back – NOPE, SORRY, WE’RE FULL. I blew up at them for blowing me off. I said I suspect they do not ever want me […]
“there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.
people so tired
mutilated
either by love or no love.
people just are not good to each other
one on one.
the rich are not good to the rich
the poor are not good to the poor.
we are afraid.
our educational system tells us
that we can all be
big-ass winners.
it hasn’t told us
about the gutters
or the suicides.
or the terror of one person
aching in one place
alone
untouched
unspoken to
watering a plant.”
i know being suicidal tends to makes us all somewhat self-supplicating creatures…..to clarify, this is not intended as a stab at anyone, just my conjecture….although i dont really post frquently, i would like to aknowledge some of you on this site who make an effort of helping others…..it reminds me that humanity is not all lost, just mostly unanimous, so thank you all….i cant name em all, but u know who u r….distant road, whispers, koatanik, nias, even killswitch…bit blunt and i’m guessing mostly drunk, but narcissim dosent automatically mean not caring, rite…hahahaha!!! but for realsies, i am appreciative…..also, can i borrow some money??? JOKING!!!
Sometimes you think you have everything under control, that your pretty smile and laugh is hiding everything. But sometimes you don’t see the cracks on the surface till others do.
In the past 20 years of my life, I’ve had one special friend they I could by my whole self too, she knew what I did and how I felt most days because she had the same feelings about life. She’s been my best friend since I was 3. We never got the chance to go to school together but she was always a short car ride or a phone call away. Everyday throughout high school […]
we’ll dance through the night with the moon light shining down on us
but in a few months ill text you while im drunk i won’t get a reply
we’ll talk for hours on end in the middle of the night both of us tired as fuck
but in a few months ill try to start a conversation with you and you’ll ignore me
we’ll hug each other when we see each other and talk for a few months
but in a few months when i see you you’ll ignore me like im nothing
we’ll talk about deep things and question life and have a great time
but […]
the time has arrived. moving stuff out. trying to push through the pain,the anxiety, the fear. she is so strong. so angry with me.deservedly so. she does not recognize how hard i tried. blind to my pain and loss. at least she has somewhere to go, and something to be. she will be safe and able to move foreward from the pathetic excuse of a husband she was with for so long. why is it wrong for me to want to die? what is so important about my existence? i think the normal people need us around to justify their happiness. ” if you dont […]
Okay so we have broke up its been a week and a bit and did we just spend the night together? you in my arms, feeling your heartbeat on my chest stroking your cheek, your neck, you. Why do I let this happen to us? I don’t know how you feel but I feel nothing just frozen in place remembering how we kissed and how soft your face was. I need to know was there any feeling? I DON’T EVEN KNOW ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coming on this site has made me realize how many of us around the world have stories that teach us we are not alone in the hurt and suffering. Maybe in some solemn sort of way we are all one note away from playing the same song. Perhaps this site shall be our choir and our songs shall live on…
So if you check my posts, you’ll see that a while back, I talked about going on a trip to Europe with a travel partner.
Well that travel partner was a girl I fell madly in love with and someone who promised me that regardless of whatever life threw at us, that we would go to Europe together.
Well that girl cancelled on me.
Well that girl is pretty much going to go live in New York with another guy.
And don’t give me that bullshit about there being a lot of fish in the sea. Because I don’t want to fucking hear it.
Well world. The sixth word has been spoken. […]
I lived alone with my brothers while my parents are living outside of country for 5 years. I miss the total privacy I had before doing all these attemps.. I used to lock my door and no one would even ask me why I did and I really miss that for a reason that partial suspension is my only way out.. could’ve taken all the time I want in my room to do it and get done with it with my room locked but I ruined this chance for myself.. I’ve done other attempts, ***** attempts (with pills) and now that my mom lives with […]
It’s a myriad of words stuck in my mind, none of them feeling appropriate for the situation at hand. I’ve memorized them over and over again, like some monologue that I’m trying to get perfect for when you’re in front of me.
Pacing in the pale dawn of the day, I find myself easily sucking down six cigarettes in the span of two hours. In between puffs and sips from a mug of coffee that gets colder, I try to imagine your reaction. Disappointment? Abandonment of one other soul in your life? God knows–you’ve had enough of that.
“. . .I try never to say goodbye, but […]
Is anybody here curious about death? I mean like wonder what its really going to be like when we die? I admit that I am.
Now when I say that I am not saying I am currenty suicidal. Im not. But I often wonder about death. We have all heard about Heaven and Hell and there are other theories about what life is like after death. I studied NDE (Near death Experiences) and have heard people talk about how they died and wound up in a bad place and felt tormented and Ive heard others say they died and came back to life and when […]
Why don’t we pull the trigger? Why don’t we tighten the noose? Why don’t we swallow the pills? Why don’t we jump from the roof? What stops us? I mean, let’s all be real with ourselves. Everyone is here on this site because they are or at least have been suicidal. Everyone here contemplates pulling that trigger, tightening that noose, swallowing those pills, or jumping off that roof. So, really, what stops us? I think it’s a fear that we will be making the wrong decision. It’s like there’s a chance of it getting better. We hear that cliché line so much that it’s stored […]