I want it to end, I want to feel relief. Its funny who one sweet word from that someone can make us feel alive again , and who easily they can take it from us. I can’t take my own life, even if I wanted it so bad.. I’m religious , I’m afraid from God.. from hell, but also.. I’m afraid to die before I have my first kiss, my first romantic hug, before I know how it feel to be the special person to someone […]
This is my second post. My first is a life story of sorts. But the basics you need to know before you read the rest of this are: 1. I’ve struggled with severe mental illness for over half my life, and I’m young. I’ve made five very serious suicide attempts and have been psychiatrically institutionalized 11 times. So, I’m a very experienced mental patient. 2. As ironic as it is, I work in an acute care mental health facility. Most of our patients are either suicidal or have just been medically cleared and sent to us after attempting suicide. So I guess you […]
This has been the hardest year of my life. To say things have gone south is an understatement. Some good things have happened but the bad far outweighs it. I attempted to commit suicide unsuccessfully earlier this year. Ever since then I’ve had off and on thoughts about attempting it again. The biggest thing that has stopped me is my kids and the thought of who would find my body. The first time was a cry for help. I didn’t succeed because I was sloppy about it. This week though all the feelings have come rushing back. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that […]
But does anyone notice? But does anyone care? And if I had the guts to put this to your head… And would anything matter if you’re already dead?
And now should I be shocked by the last thing you said? Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained… And in saying you loved me, made things harder at best, and these words changing nothing as your body remains,
and there’s no room in this hell, there’s no room in the next, and our memories defeat us, and I’ll end this direst.
Mental Health Week ends today in my country. I am very lucky to live in a country that is pretty accepting of mental health issues but even with it’s national recognition on media and such, I can tell you that I still continue to have stigma placed upon me from first hand experience. For instances, I was tricked into disclosing my health issues during a job interview and it was so obvious from what the lady said, wrote and acted after I did disclose my mental health problems that I wasn’t going to get the job. I stupidly tell people that I am feeling suicidal […]
Let’s boon. Gear up, see what’s up. Hmu
We’ll get a gang of heavy bud, enough to smoke an OD
Just in case, loose so much brain cells stay in the jungle
Make a fire, make the fire. I want to play Elder Scrolls Online
But we’re not coming back
Take me to a higher place, then let us vanquish
The water, the fire, the earth
For those of you who don’t know big dawg Shep, he’s one of SP’s regulars. Shep’s your everyday good sort who always has a kind word to say to those at their most vulnerable. Many here really appreciate the input and presence Shep has on the site. Birthdays are pretty freaky times for everyone (I had some low moments during mine last week), so I thought this could be a good place to show some love!
Warm wishes for your 21st mate! Thanks for being an all-round great guy. Love your sense of humour (when you grace us with it :P), and the insight you offer […]
Women are capable of hurting us too… Don’t get too attached to quickly.. 🙁
I know you know that there are no victors in a war, because I know that, and we are us. Let’s raise the white flag together, on 3. Aren’t you tired of fighting? Am I that stubborn? Are we cool?
Many soldiers died on this ground, from both sides. I’m done. There. Helmet’s off. You see my hair. Golden-brown. Ain’t it pretty?
Show me your face. I’ve always wondered how you look like behind that war paint.
Let’s put our guns down.
Let’s hug it out.
I feel you. Do you feel me?
Do you feel the pain? Does it feels familiar?
Does the knife running […]
For all the OZ and NZ fans….good to se;e after 43 years the bunnies won!! Maybe some of us underdogs may take the same result as inspiration to further our lives…unless like me we’re too far gone 🙂
When it comes to “intellectual conversations” I tend to be able to participate pretty well, at least if I have an opinion on the matter. Or conversations with a specific subject, like politics, economy, morality, science, technology, computer or whatever. No problem. But as soon as it comes to small talk or talking with each just out of fun or to kill time I suck as hell most of the time. I mean when I’m with my two friends I don’t think about it at all and we don’t even care about what anyone says but it’s still fun for all three of us. But […]
I’ll be home soon mum. We’ll be where no man can hurt us. I juts gotta see dad right first then I’ll come home ok. Love you xx.
Oh, baby; oh, gorgeous
Child, sevens to Satori
Are you with me
Vagabond, you can hold the glock’
I’ll use my fist to the end, like a water
Scramble, Faye Valentine
Can I be the never, Spike Spiegel
Black Jack, take it tonight
Caesar at ours, oh
A new story of I and us, will it be forever.
Monastic
I took this photo this morning of my dog Finnegan slurping my cat, Charlie Chow Mein. Maybe I should say his cat. Finnegan is laid back. You can take food out of his mouth and he won’t bite you. If he feels his cat is being threatened though he will become fiercely protective. He will place himself between the perceived threat and the cat, be the threat human or another animal, and he will growl menacingly, his back hairs standing up a bit. And if the […]
I wanted to do it. I was convinced I was going to take my life. I was devastated. Things had been moving in a positive direction since I last posted, but I knew it was only an amount of time before things came crumbling down. I quit my job. I hadn’t planned on doing it the way I did, but I lost my mind. Things were so bad there, I quit because my managers wouldn’t do anything to help me. No matter how many times I asked for help with a co worker they let it slide and made it out like it was my […]
“The Suicide Project is a website devoted to allowing people to share their stories of desperation and depression… and ultimately of hope.”
I think in the light of recent events it is important not to forget what the purpose of this special website is. Regardless of how different the reasons for us to come here might be, what unites us is the suffering we experience and the desire to end it one way or another. No matter what part of the world you come from, what race or gender you are, what kind of sexuality you are living, what religion you might or might not belong […]
Let’s be friends, let’s talk and play and sing together. I don’t want to fight you. I already tried that, back when I was stressed and didn’t know that you actually came to help me, to pull me out of my shit. You’re my savior. Let’s learn how to live together, like siamese twins.
Joni Mitchell says “Blue, I love you” in her song Blue, which talk about acceptence and far from that, falling in love to the side which enslaves you. It’s not like you have much choice. If you are clinically depressed like me and want to experience life to the fullest before leaving […]
As some of you know, I tried most, if not all treatments out there… My psychiatrist abandoned me 6 months ago. We had a close relationship so it crushed me. She energized me and inspired me to do things I never had the courage to do myself. She got sick (but us better now) so she couldn’t manage me being suicidal. Even though she said we could reevaluate after 6 months, she won’t respond to my texts, emails or calls. She is really the only hope I had to get better and stay better. I left her a voicemail this morning saying that I will […]
I’m young,a teenager,a time where emotions are strong and difficult to handle.I know that.i know that I’m growing up and these raw emotions will dull down later,but I wish they would go away now. I’ve never been good at math,never a strong point for me.I recently got a new math teacher (because of me going into eighth grade) and he’s really hard to understand.He keeps saying all theses things he’s teaching us are ‘easy’ and ‘basic’ and I just feel so stupid for not understanding it.When I told my parents they didn’t seem to care to much.I know they love me but sometimes they make […]
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