Tonight is going to be hard. I stayed the past two nights at my moms best friends house who is considered my “Aunt” so I call her my aunt and her brother and sister in law came over for the first time in years along with both their sons. Me and her nephew, Brandon used to have a this thing together not a relationship but just a closeness and I haven’t seen him in 3 years. I had 24 hour with him and those 24 hours are going to effect me for the rest of the week and maybe even more. He is the first […]
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Normal. Kissing a man. Normal. Friends. Body contact/hugs, kisses. Normal. Couple with a baby. Normal. Walking up the stairs, riding a bike, doing sports. Normal. Mother, father, family. Normal. Driving a car. Being slim. being blonde. Fuck the media, the picture you are showing us is “NORMAL”. Normal. Normal. Normal. I am SICK of this normal world!!!
Empty from crying. Tomorrow to work again. smile, you’re on camera. being watched. don’t cry in public – you may be considered as being mentally ill in this society.
I have the easiest wish a human being can have. Somebody LOVE me. Someone, anyone, lay your arms around me and […]
I think most people have some idea of a ‘worthwhile life’. Maybe it involves being in love. Raising a family. Or close friends. Fulfilling work. Expressing yourself creatively. Or just enjoying yourself – sex, drugs, rock & roll (or whatever else floats your boat.)
But for some of us, those meaningful things seem out of reach, or we’re prevented from enjoying them by obstacles. Perhaps we believe ourselves incapable (or undeserving) of love or friendship. Unable to connect with others. Or we’re crippled by extreme social anxiety, and unable to function. Weighed down by feelings of loss or loneliness. Maybe we suffer from chronic pain and […]
Things falling apart for me: Not getting paid from 2nd job unless I get a Chase account, that I can’t get due to horrible credit score. Main job has to switch payment system so there could be a huge 3 week interruption. This leave me with $0 to live on. Can’t rent a place now!!!
Things fall apart for Man of My Dreams: his life long disability that he has received from birth suddenly gets cut off without warning or reason. He will be homeless and I don’t have a place to offer him, and can’t get a place with my jobs unable to pay me. […]
it seems whole life is the procrastination of one single moment of nothingness, when lifes shows itself with it’s full absence of meaning. soon it will pass. and how does it pass will always remain a mistery. maybe we’re just so obsessed with meanings, and so willing to impose an identity and causality to the great plurality of existence. our stubborness is the very origin of our anguish.
but how can we accept the pluralism of existence, if our own words just arrests us into the everlasting nostalgia for an other world?
i just don’t know.
the question is what the fuck did happen with my life for […]
I genuinely believe that some people don’t belong in this world. This atmosphere is just too much for us and we need an escape. I am one of those people that just isn’t meant for this environment. I need a different way and I think heaven would be so great. I know it would be great. I just wish I had the courage and strength to go there.
They had it easy, honestly. Two seconds of pain and now they go out as heroes. Nobody questions anything they did, ever. This universe is so strange. If a stranger shoots us in the head, we instantly become heroes. If we do it ourselves, people call us cowards. Of course there is actually nothing heroic about being shot in the head by a stranger, and nothing cowardly about raising a gun to one’s head and pulling the trigger, but that won’t stop the masses from judging as they will.
When I finally get the courage to step out of this joke called life, I want my obituary to be honest. “She is survived by her cats, the only living creatures that loved her unconditionally. Some people on a website might be sad she’s gone, but the rest of us couldn’t be bothered to treat her like anything but a burden while she was alive. We’ll just brush aside the fact she was the most loyal person we ever met. Thank goodness she’s gone!”
Ok guys, come on. We all have to admit we shared a lot of laughs and fun times this morning with Wndozh8er and some others who post regularly on this site. I don’t know what happened between then and now, but there’s so much arguing and drama going on in the comments and with posting new posts, etc. let’s all just get along. We are all here for a reason, rather it be because we are suicidal, or that we are trying to help others feel like living again. Maybe you have survived an attempt and want to share your life with us. Whatever it […]
So, I’m 40. I’m fairly successful, have a girlfriend and a house in a very beautiful part of the US. But I can’t stop crying, if I see a war movie or watch some SVU show I lose it (tho I’ve never experienced either). I think every day about how things would just be easier if I wasn’t here.
I’ve been to doctors, but I largely medicate myself with xanax and tequila.
What the f**k should I do? I want to stop thinking about dying; yet I think about it every day.
I feel like a whiney bastard, but I don’t know how to fix myself.
What would you […]
I grew up with a father who has never been happy, has always been depressed and we as kids were always trying to find out ways to make him happy. Nothing ever did. And that hurt us as kids not knowing that it was not us making him unhappy, that that was just her state of being and there was nothing that we could do to bring him out of that funk. Eventually I know that is what killed him, you can’t live and thrive with that kind of sadness and depression in your life all of the time. There is no one who could […]
I am nearing my point in which I will be ready to end it. Long story short I am a miserable dissapointment and life would be better for all that I loved if I were gone. I have made my arrangements and have financial taken care of (almost) for my children and girlfriend/fiance. No one knows that I am on my way out,and I would like to keep it that way. My question is,would it be selfish of me to make it so my best friend is the one who discovers my body? I would have documentation for him to read following his discovery,an I […]
I used to believe in God but I sat down and really thought about it and the concept of heaven and hell just seem too fairy tale-ish to me. But does anyone know the point of life? What is the reason for us being here? It seems like it’s money for a lot of people. And that’s why I want to go. Whether or not God stated it,”The love of money is the root of all evil” is definitely the truth. I see it in on my family’s faces. In the news. On the streets. The desire of money is completely taking the humanity out of […]
The calamity, gotta’ write somewhere
Anymore, like it’s been a while
Waiting for the nail to grow
And I’m going, in my way
Down-tempo
If you knew, alone, to the best of my ability
Grace, my grace
The day, that I see you, again
And it’s too bad, making half-sense without the music
Maybe, I got to skip the beat, now
Just maybe
The palm and the wind
Taking it back from the deep urban
I mean, to get the heck out
Two-generation, catch into action
Heal-me, then see us
Synchronizing, I’m talking about life and the world
What is everything more
Grow me to the living
Two to two-thousand
Like the Palm and the wind
Just maybe
…
Why, versus the Lion and the Dragon
How would other people describe your personality? I know most of us on here probably have self esteem issues, so try & look through others eyes not your own 🙂
My doctor said that those of us who suffer from suicidal thoughts tend to have similar traits & not be horrible, selfish people that others think we are. Would also be interested in ages.
Me: quiet, conscientious, kind-hearted, nature & animal lover, submissive (I.e not dominant, will put other people first). 24 years old.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
So you see, I used to have this boyfriend. He was practically my savior. He was the reason I didn’t commit suicide the first time. But he was one of a kind. He took interest in what I liked, he always supported me. He never pressured me and he was fun. He not once mentioned anything passed kissing so it never got awkward between us. He legitimately cared. Then one day he tells me he has to break up with me cuz of his father. Now here’s my problem. Everything reminds me of him and I still love him and miss him. All week I’ve […]
Guys, I want your opinions. Everything. Creation or evolution? Is there something that created us and we have somehow a meaning? Or everything is just random and we are just sacks of meat and after we die is nothingness?
We open the doors to all, passwords set aside, please join us in our chat for the night = ).
http://tinychat.com/themikerevival
I feel completely broken inside, like a part of me that should be there is missing. I’m constantly surrounded by a dark cloud that suffocates me. I feel like it should have killed me already. I’m surprised it hasn’t. It’s so hard to live with so much pain. My friends don’t understand – the few that I’ve told about it. They think that chocolate and hugs will make it all better. It won’t.
The truth is that I want to disappear. Except I can’t. The problem with having a perfect-on-paper life is that: a) people don’t believe that you could possibly have any problems, and b) […]
I recently heard, in audio precepts, a book I had long sought in my adolescence called Harnessing Your Emotions by Andrew Wommack. Although this is a Christian take on psychology, it did help me realize that our emotions are controled by our thoughts not the other way around. This in turn has aliviated me of social anxieties, personality disorders and psychological ailments. The populous runs with the idea of psychology that our cirumstances dictate how we should feel and act which becomes our excuse for destructive behaviour.
For those who struggle to smile or get out of bed, hearing that “you choose to be happy or […]