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Honestly..seeing this broke me..I love him a lot but he has so many female friends..I don’t know what to do..I use to find myself crying..feeling like I’m just not good enough…just ugly af..he says he loves me but take a look at the pic it’s not of me and him..it’s some other girl he says that’s his friend..when I first seen this I cried and did something I regret..I cut myself I felt weird after I haven’t done it in so long but seeing how […]
Hi everyone. 🙂
The short version of this is I might not be on SP as much in the future. The longer version is just a vent about everything that’s been going on lately.
It seems surreal to me that only a couple of months ago I was texting a friend to say I thought I was starting to recover from depression. I’ve said it twice in the last five to six years. Things started to get worse again this time when my ME/CFS got worse. That seems to be improving now, although it’s been up and down lately, but the depression is still going downhill.
I cut […]
When I feel as though I’m a burden or am not doing good enough for this world, for those in my life or those I love, I feel worthless. And I spiral down to nothingness. My thoughts and feelings become a relentless battle of why I no longer need to be here in this world.
I feel like I am not good at anything. Or good enough. My boyfriend deserves so much better. I know that if I weren’t here, I’d eventually be forgotten about, no one would have to worry about me anymore, and I wouldn’t negatively affect anyone else’s life anymore.
People like […]
Guys, I don’t know what to do. I was feeling productive and updated my resume, but for what. I don’t own a car and I don’t have my license because I need more practice, but there are no cars for me to practice with. My dad is an asshole and my mom is a ditz. They frustrate me so much. When I was in 6th grade, I wanted to divorce my parents. I think that is one of my biggest regrets in life. My all time biggest regret in life is that I didn’t try harder to kill myself in 8th grade. I was stupid. […]
I don’t post a lot, but right now, I just have to get this feeling out of me. Sorry for the melodramatics…
I don’t just wish I was dead; I wish I had never born. I hate that I am such a burden, such a waste of resources, such a disappointment. I know that most others don’t look at me and see that. They wouldn’t agree, and that should make me feel better. But really, it just means no one knows me. If they knew me, they’d see what I see. I work so hard at everything I do, and I just feel like I get […]
I think I want to try and kill myself again, but I have a boyfriend and I don’t want to hurt him by leaving, I think he would kill himself as well if I did. I don’t think I can talk to him about it either, he tends to turn my issues when brought up to him being a bad boyfriend who can’t keep me happy. I can’t really talk to him about things and it irritates me that I can’t, because I know all it’ll do is push me closer to an edge I wish not to look over.
I honestly don’t know what I’m doing here. What I’m doing on this site. What I’m doing in this chair. Why I’m anywhere but six feet under. I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t want to be here. Hell, nobody wants me here. I say we cut our loses and toss me over a building.
Of course there’s people that object to this. There always is. They win me over with reason, pull me back over the edge. What they don’t realize is that when they pull me onto the ‘safe’ side, it’s just as deep as the edge of a building. The only difference is it […]
I’m so sad, I don’t know what to think of anymore. All i can feel is just this emotion eating at me. Bringing myself down even further, telling myself that i’m a nobody, i’m no good, why do people even bother with a selfish greedy person such as myself. Why don’t I just make myself worse since I deserve it. I have the urge to slice again, at this moment it’s hard to restrain myself from touching a blade again when I crave for it the most…I don’t deserve anything good. I’m no one.
I cannot sleep…. I keep thinking about what someone said to me “no one gives a ish”….
No one cares and to have no one in your corner ,hurts. I tried telling a friend a few minutes ago that I still deal with depression and cannot get rid of these sucidal thoughts, And just said ” i thought you wasn’t going to go to that place no more”? Like really…. if i could really had a choice to feel the way I do don’t you think I would choose not to be feeling sucidal, depressed and lonely all the time…Damn, I do wanna be happy but I […]
I have never attempted suicide before and probably will never do that in the future, although I am suicidal. The depressing thought cannot get out of my head. Only watching people who are also suicidal can make me feel much better, because I tend to dispassionately analyze their feelings and so I become an observer rather than a sufferer.
There’s no point to live, but there’s no point to die either, from my perspective. That’s why I’m still alive. There’s no point to do anything. Suicide is such a luxury, an aggregation of  courage, ego, curiosity, perseverance, nonchalance about collective unconsciousness, motivation, liberation, freedom of self-expression, […]
You. Yes, YOU! You need to blow off steam like an overworked, piston pounding engine about to explode. Do not bottle up your emotions, or they will shatter the container as if it was flung against the wall. You must air out your dirty laundry or it will make the house smell like the inner layer of an angry sumos diaper. Venting. It is a healthy necessary, natural process that everyone should exercise to prevent pent up anger, ulcers, tumors, stress, and a faithul re-enactment of call of duty in the park/office/or school. …Or is the idea of venting just a load of hot air?
It […]
Depression hits us all, I think. There’s not a single person I have spoken to that hasn’t felt it’s clammy hands around their soul. It seems to be caused by many things, from big life changing events, to small things that just build up and knock a person off their feet eventually. Â I’ve had it time and and time again, but usually managing to shake it off like a wet dog. Â This time however, it’s crippled me.
I’ve seen death burn through a families hope, I’ve felt that pain. I got through it.
I’ve felt the devastation of a loved one no longer loving you. I got through […]
Some days it’s easy to hate the reality of your own existence. Some times it’s simple to think there isn’t a point to getting by and getting on with life. Some how it’s simple to die on the inside.
Sometimes…but not always. Sometimes people bring you back from the brink- a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a best friend etc… Until they leave me also.
I used to think that it would take some kind of life altering event to cause someone to spiral down the rabbit hole of depression, that people were born happy or content and then we’re twisted by the world around us.
The more I think […]
I’m not fully suicidal. Hell, I’m not sure if I really belong here. All I know is I’m in pain. about six years ago I got suicidal. But eventually I got over it. then about 3 years ago, it came back, but I again weathered the storm, and was fine. A little over a year ago I had to move away from my friends, and everything I had work to build up in my life. I slowly got better. I’ve been in this new place, across the country from where I was, and it seems like all I know is pain now. I have no […]
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