Ever since I was a child I was always so sensitive. when I was four I was run over by a bycycle and spent 4 hours on the operating table with a plastic surgeon them sewing my face up.  When my mother died when I was 8 I did not speak for a year. My father sexually abused me one year after she died after hitting me to make me scared. My father had seven strokes when I was 18. I went to therapy and never really did drugs or do not drink or smoke you could say I have my life together. but […]
Tag:
Vet
Jag vill leva. Jag är glad att jag inte tagit livet av mig. Jag vill leva nu, inte i det som var förut. Jag vill leva nu och även om jag vet att jag kommer att känna annorlunda snart så vill jag leva för att se även det. Jag lever. Jag är glad att jag lever. Jag vill fortsätta leva.
Jag hoppas kunna hjälpa andra människor på den här sidan. Jag tycker att det är väldigt viktigt att kunna nå ut till andra och hjälpa människor som har problem.
I am glad to be alive. I am glad that I didn’t kill myself. I want to live […]
I am a 30 year old army vet. I was seriously injured during my time in service. I’ll be in a wheelchair by the time I am 45. The va is so incompetent that I can’t even get my antidepressants or pain meds. I have never been so alone.
I am going to commit suicide on my 33rd birthday, and am getting my affairs in order so as not to burden anyone with my passing.
I feel like everyone has a sob story or what some might call a good reason. “I’m insecure” or “I’m depressed” or “I’m abused”. That’s all sad and really painful and I get why you might just want to give up.
The thing with me is: I don’t even have any of that. It was a slow process, but at the same time it happened in the blink of an eye; a rush of clarity for me.
There’s nothing for me here. There never will be. Nothing had to happen to convince me of it, because I think I’ve always known.
Nothing ever feels right. […]
I don’t know what to say. Damn, I woke up and I felt like this automatically. I don’t love myself. I hate myself. I’ve fucked everything up somehow. I can’t do anything right, I’m ugly, and I”m fat. I always thought that guys would like me more because I am the way I am. I play video games all the time. I’m not girly. I like the color pink, and I like makeup, etc., but I love hunting, and I want to be a vet when I’m older. I’m pretty smart, I guess. I take Pre-AP classes, and I’ve kept all A’s all year, every […]
If you have read my last posts you know how I got here…
Yesterday I lost my new job. The job was not for me, but it was a job. I have been so morbidly depressed over the loss the new life I had found, the loss of my home, and the loss of my things, being trapped living in a hotel room, I tried to work at this new job. It was not a fit for me. Under normal conditions I would have made it work, but I simply could not. I literally tried to hide my tears back throughout […]
so after so long of not being able to see you i went up there. I knew i was most likely wasting my time, but when i got there this very nice nurse took pity in me, she said she would let me see you because of ezra. she led me to that little room where you all sit and watch tv, or play games. I probably should have figured it out by the was that girl kept looking at me…. the  same look i gave the vet when i was 9, right before they took my kitty away for the last time. we talked […]
As someone who’s survived 3 serious attempts I wish to say that I have no intention of making it through number four. I’ve finally arrived at the conclusion that I’m statistically supposed to be dead by now and it’s not something which makes me feel better. I’ve seen so much pain on my short tour here on Earth. Humanity does little to stoke my optimism, in fact it does the opposite. I’m a vet, I’m mentally unstable, I’m single, I’m unemployed for the fourth year running and I’m almost homeless (I already was for 3 years.) A close friend who I met while being homeless committed suicide via alcohol and prescription […]
i don’t know why i decided that writing everything down was a good idea. let along on the internet. i guess on here nobody knows who i am and its not somewhere where somebody from my end can find it.
i am a selfharmer/suicidal. have been since i was about 16. i am now nearly 20. it started when my bestfriend died in a car accident. i started self distructing a couple months later. i could not get over her death. then somebudy noticed, a teacher, he threatened to go to the school welfare co-ordinator unless i talked to him. so i chose to talk to […]
Not even sure why I’m posting here. I guess I want to know if anyone feels the same as me, what do I do etc.
I basically can’t seem to handle life. I was booted from home when I was 14. Apparently a bad situation with neighbours caused us to move when I was 11 and according to my mother this unsettled me in my life. I was a stable, well achieving girl before that.
Now I am 32. I have had strings of bad relationships, one after the other. Ending for reasons which may or may not have been my […]
I’m an Iraq vet, split with my wife over a year ago. I’ve failed at every job I’ve gotten since my discharge, ruined every friendship in my life, and have no prospects for the future. No artistic or creative talents, failing familial ties, and I am just tired all the time. I’m slowly researching different methods for ending my life. I know it would be great to stick arou d long enough to see my baby nephew grow up, but that would entail continuing to live, and I am an utter failure at all of the things that modern living entails. I have no desire […]