Hi, I am a typical high schooler. Im apart of my schools band. I love it at times. In the seventh grade I was bullied to the point of suicidal thoughts. I was put in the hospital. My parents say I only did it for attention. I ddnt. I was really sad and saw no reason tl live. Back in may, I was hospitalized for attempted suicide. I had got in a lot of trouble for something I didnt do. I felt like my parentd hated me. They even asked around for boarding school. They want me to be perfect. Im a teen, I make […]
Tag:
wanna
On top of the roof
The air is so cold and so calm
I say your name in silence
You don’t wanna hear it right now
The eyes of the city
Are counting the tears falling down
Each one a promise
Of everything you never found
I scream into the night for you
Don’t make it true
Don’t jump
The lights will not guide you through
They’re deceiving you
Don’t jump
Don’t let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don’t jump
You open your eyes
But you can’t remember what for
The snow falls quietly
You just can’t […]
Hi Everyone I’m new here im gay 31 living with my dad I have social anxiety agoraphobia ptsd Addictions to crystal meth, I’ve been doing crystal now for 8 months on and off the longest I can go without getting some is always a month. And that’s the case here I’m a month off it again. I am trying to quit. But I just recently split up with my boyfriend of five months. I’m alone again and he told me some home truths. That I didn’t wanna hear. Anyways I’ve tried to kill myself 7 times through my life first time I was 13. I […]
….the end. Hopefully soon.
cut myself for the first time in 4 years yesterday.Spend most days drunk on alcohol/valium or both yet still going to work but it’s getting harder. The fact I get a train doesn’t help, it would be easy to jump in front of one cause I get plenty of option to but hey, I don’t wanna fuck up their lives by hitting me.
wanting to throw myself downstairs daily is so frustrating, other people seem to be happy! What the fuck is that?
Im glad they are but i’m just wondering how that feels!
I wanted a gun, but in the UK it’s pretty difficult. […]
i wanna get drunk and die
Hey if you’re reading.
I’ve been playing with the thought of killing myself for about 10 years out of my 25 year long life. I doubt I’ll ever be able to do it without access to ******** or guns. And like some of you, I dont really want to die, I just dont wanna live under these circumstances. Merry Xmas.
so a lot of things have been changing lately for one im kinda homeless you know sleeping on a friends couch but im happy here nd they love me being here its lik when I was younger nd I used to stay with them ime really happy im here for now instead of with my sister which I will eventually be with her cuz that’s where the courts said I had to live but ill figure something out so I can stay happy annyywayy im engaged and I really love this guy im with his names cole nd hes amazing nd he loves me and […]
I was raised in a Muslim family.. so naturally my parents taught me everything that I need to be taught to be a good Muslim, there was no room for me to make a choice about what I want to believe in, it was obvious that I will be leading my life based on what God wrote in the holy book.
In my teenage time I started noticing that some of the practices in religion contradicted what I think is right! So I begun making up explanations about what my religion is all about, trying to make it fit my principles, but I was obviously just making excuses, […]
One day i just wanna stop being the girl that everyone uses as a bad example like “you can either go with her or Brianna” “Ewww naw man her ugly self “ i just want to be the girl that a guy at least looks at out of amazement and not disgust.
I hate the feelings I have. Its the worst. Everyday is the same lonely day. I don’t trust people their all the same. Everyone is ether boring or uninterested and no one is the same anymore. I feel so different from everyone else. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who’s alive and everyone else is dead, and sometimes it feels like I’m dead and everyone else is living. Should I exist at all? I feel like I really shouldn’t at times. I don’t feel like I should even be here anymore I’m so sick of the same people and the same conversation, I just […]
Why cant i go a day without thinking of killing myself? Its like a constant struggle to continue to live in this world. Everything is just so meaningless to me now. Is there even a real point to continue living and moving forward or are we just fooling oursleves when we say “it will get better”.
When i use to try and ask for help to stop these thoughts people only made it worse by telling me there is something wrong with me and i should go to a therapist but all they would do is put me on pills. I dont wanna go on […]
I was shouting to my mom. All I said was that I dont wanna live anymore. That I don’t want this. I start to act like a freak I start to hurt me. I start to scream. I hurt my mom too. I’m insane. What should I do ?
I forgot what it feels like to write. I decided to start writing almost everyday again starting now. I just wanna get all my feelings out. I havent been here in awhile. 2 months but it seems like something always brings me back. I like all of you. You know what i go through. No one else understands. Yes i should be thankful that i have people in my life when some don’t have any but even if they are here. Are they really here? My parents are oblivious and believes that mental illnesses are not real. My dad once told me that if i […]
My depression started when i was 11. My father had been abusing me and cheating on my mother then she eventually got tired of it and her left when i was 12. Haven’t talked to him since. My mother went into deep depression after he left and she started abusing prescription drugs (soma, vicoden etc) she had very unmanageable diabetes and was in and out of the hospital for 6 years. Then she passed away 3 years ago when i was 18. She died from an accidental pill overdose. Ever since then ive had so much emotional pain. I dont know how to deal with […]
Oh the magic of proxy browsers to get to all those websites your pesky boss has blocked. Fuck this. I’m so tired. I don’t really wanna fight anymore or hold on. I’m pretty sure I will because there’s nothing else to do but I won’t enjoy it.
Idk what to say…I guess I’ll talk about what made me the way I am. I’ve been suicidal and a cutter since I being the youngest of ten kids I could never speak up about how I felt. Who’d listen? I was being molested by my big brother…the family secret. When I was ten I finally tried telling my mom what was happening, she promised to make it stop…it didn’t. Every night I’d be in bed and wake up and feel my brother’s hand going up my nightgown. I would kick him to make him go away….I didn’t dare scream for fear my parents would […]
I’m fucking tired. So tired. Sick of the daily struggle.
Everyday, relentless. It just Dosnt end.
Sitting here, loaded shot gun. I can make it all end. Fuck it why not.
One decent reason I don’t wanna go alone.I fucking hate the lot of you. Every ****. I should take you all with me.
Stuck at a job I hate, get no respect.
The women I love. Toying with me. She asked me if I was gay today. Fuck me.
How did life get so fucked. How did I end up here.
Fuck it, burn in he’ll you pack of miserable cunts.
I’ll meet you there.
It never fails to get me. The feeling of guilt. I run, leaving those lonely ones behind. I just don’t wanna be a witness to seeing them so miserable. I know they need me, but I don’t know what I can do. So I run, hoping for a temporary cure to these feelings. But then guilt comes up, and stabs you through your heart, “Why did you run? Why did you leave them alone? How could you!? You’re so selfish.”
Well, my life is kinda not how I pictured it. I grew up in a broken family where no one cared for one another. When I was 5-6 years old my father chased my mother and me in a car chase with the intend of killing her but I will never know about me. He was nuts, I’m guessing he was possibly on drugs or something. Then, my parents divorced. I was sent to boarding school for 1st and 2nd grade. I didn’t see much of my parents, my mother was lost and who knows where my father was. Then I floated from one school […]
Hey guys, If you need to talk about something or just wanna have a nice conversation. You can talk to me my kik is kewlcat_30 or email me my email is xXshortroundXx.cw@gmail.com