Living Without Religion

I had a similar process before becoming an atheist as a teen myself, so I can kind of relate to what you said– especially the part about catching yourself making up explanations to match your principles. What I’ve come to realize through my experiences/readings since then is that there are certain emotional needs human beings have that religious practice often meets. These needs have nothing to do with the supernatural or belief in gods.

1. Fellowship (regular social interaction):
For the most part, practising religious folk can expect to be welcomed into non-threatening social interactions in their house of worship, or in public by chance if they happen to be of a well-represented faith in their society. Nonreligious folks are all individuals. Some might join humanist or skeptic groups, but for a lot of us, these might not really be our thing.

2. Connection (sense of belonging somewhere):
Again, religious ppl can typically expect to feel welcome at their houses of worship or when speaking to fellow practitioners in public. The same kinds of connection do not exist among nonreligious peeps unless we have other things in common, over which to bond.

3. Validation:
Being part of a faith entitles you to be told you are a “good” and “valid” (and hence, worthwhile) person by an authority figure (usually a patriarch)– just for being there! That is a powerful privilege that the nonreligious are not often afforded, and which most adults (religious or nonreligious) often understand is not something they’re entitled to expect from others (outside of whatever is said/done within the bounds of their faith).

4. Gratitude (i.e. ongoing practice of recognizing the good things in one’s life):
Religious people typically praise or thank their god for the good things that happen in their lives. Nonreligious folks can simply cultivate a practice of being just as aware of the good as the bad, and assigning the “good” at least as much importance. (For those of us who suffer depression or anxiety, this one can be a bit of a struggle.)

5. Letting Go (Relinquishing the idea we’re in control over everything that happens to us):
To religious people, this means gods/spirits are interfering in their daily lives. To the nonreligious, this is about recognizing that not everything that happens in the world has a good reason, or could have been controlled/prevented. The universe is chaotic. It is what it is. The funny thing is that many religious folks haven’t wrapped their heads around this one either, actually. It depends on the religion and on the wisdom of the individual, I suppose.

Whoops, gotta go! Sorry I can’t wrap this post up properly. If anyone has any questions (???) feel free to ask…