it hurts to have a roommate who thinks that people are weak for getting help for their mental problems. i have tried and failed on that front, but there are so many people who need it to survive and function normally. i also suspect that her opinions are heavily based in her masking her own mental health issues, which to me are very apparent (i want to say she exhibits signs of either borderline personality or bipolar). yesterday when she came back she told me that she “made a friend,” whatever the fuck that means. she made a friend, nonetheless, and this friend apparently attempted […]
want
Hi everyone! Soo for starters, I’m not really sad or depressed, tho i’ve struggled with that a lot in the past. I’m not mentally ill or delusional, at least i don’t think lol? I’m 19, considered really pretty, i have friends, plenty if guys to date, and a wonderful amazing family i love to bits.
But I really want to die. My reasons are complicated and really personal and paaartially to with unchangeable stuff in my life but basically i’m just…done. I don’t think there’s much more i can gain from living this life anymore and i figure whatever comes next even if its complete oblivion […]
And so it began.. The day you were born.. Reality is everyday we die a little, but for some they want to live an eternity, while most wish the hell they were given would end tomorrow…
How do you forgive someone who has hurt you? The guy who hurt me when I was little messed me up so bad. I have a hard time trusting adults, I have a hard time being in a relationship with a guy, if my boyfriend were to touch me a certain way, like he did, I would freak out and have to distance myself from him. And my boyfriend wouldn’t understand why I was acting the way I was. I want to be normal And when my boyfriend leans in to kiss me I won’t freak out. Or if he puts his arms around me […]
I dont even care enough to want to die. Repetitive practiced motions propel me through my days. Mind numb and thoughts stagnant. The real me died a long time ago and the creature left in my place is weak. Slowly dissipating to nothing is more than I deserve and exactly what I’ll get. I’ve made peace with this.
I’m disgusted with the idea that i might want your attention, but it’s your attention that helps and your help is disgusting because i’m disgusting for needing help. Help!
I dont understand 🙁
I feel like im useless, all i want is to be successful.. People say that if you work hard enough and invest yourself fully in what you want that you will be successful but what about the hobo on the corner? He wanted to be an artist and spent all his money on his art and droped out of school to proceed his pasion.. He failed.. And he gave it his all.. How do i know that wont be me?
“I just hope that one day – preferably when we’re both blind drunk – we can talk about it.”– J. D. Salinger
I didn’t want to post here again , but it was one of those days that sucker punch you for waking up. Takes the piss out of you for walking outside. Then, it finishes you with a swift kick to the birds with a spring sticking out of your driver seat in the car.
I try very hard to smile much of the time when dealing with people. I want them to see me as happy, I guess. It isn’t as though it matters. Today, […]
Someone told me a few days ago that their birthday was April 20th and that got me thinking about Columbine again. Of course, thinking about Columbine got me started on death and suicide again, so I watched a bunch of videos with shootings ending in suicide, and looking up suicide obituaries. I secretly thought I was moving forward, but I guess I’m not. I tried to look up how to tie a bedsheet noose, but it’s a lot different than an actual noose, judging by the photos online. I wasn’t even feeling suicidal until I started trying to make it, and then it just hit […]
*WARNING LONGEST STORY + RANT EVER ABOUT FIGHT WITH FAKE FRIENDS*
So once again I am taken advantage of and treated like shit for it. I try to be a good person and this is what I get. So I was friends with four girls, their initials are S,M,ME, and E, because i don’t want to use their real names. I was friends with them for almost a year and I noticed that even at lunch, M stopped talking to me. And a few days later, E told me M said “I need to talk to you about Tara, I am so done with her […]
Ever since I was a little girl I dreamt of death. Specifically in the forms of vampires. I was obsessed with the thought of rebirth after death. Of becoming this new, more powerful, and less vulnerable creature simply by dying and leaving your previous life behind. I guess that’s where it started..
I’ve never been able to release this obsession with death. Recently I’ve been making things more dangerous by mixing and overusing medications plus alcohol. I don’t know if I really want to die, or if I just want the rebirth. Rebirth into the life where I’m invincible.
The saddest part of all of this […]
The reason that I hated the medication was not only because it made what little wits I had disappear….it was because of the false “happiness” that it seemed to give me. Not even happiness…all it did was tarnish the true feelings of sadness, invalidated it by erasing the memories of what caused my pain. So I was left with the sadness, the depression, but a feeling that I was inflicting it upon myself, making me feel even more worthless. As if this pain was…made up. All in my head. I want to run away into space and never come back. I want to disappear. So […]
Am I the only one that doesn’t want to have to depend on medication to be the rest of my life? Because I went to the doctors the other day and he said that I’m going to have to be on medication all my life. And if I don’t take my low doses now then my suicidal thoughts will just get worse… I don’t want to have to depend on medication all my life… 🙁
I am here just to ask one simple thing for the ones who’ve tried it. Can we live (if not happily,somehow keep breathing without killing oneself ) all alone? I mean by isolating oneself from everyone we know. Is it worth living or breathing would just be a waste of time? Going to a far off distance,leaving everyone behind and off to such a place where nobody knows you. Just to earn your bread and somehow live.I am a girl from the eastern part of the world so my problem wouldn’t make sense to most of you. All my life people have compared me with […]
Its been around two weeks since i started starvation, this is definetely not a way to go if you want to go peacefully, my body weight is at an all time low, my body is weak and any physical task is hell. Keeping composure at work and acting normal is the hardest of task. Im not sure if im hallucinating due to it, theres always something there edging me on to just finish myself off faster. I often find myself speaking to it or myself, my memories are a bit faded and does not feel like my own. The depression and anxiety remains strong. I […]
I don’t want my life to depend on one person. But the truth is that my boyfriend broke up with me today and I just don’t know how I’m supposed to get through this. He told me he can’t deal with my depression and suicidal thoughts and it’s been like that basically since we started dating three year ago. I always knew we were never going to last, but he was what was keeping me going in this life. He tells me I need to get help and that I will be fine eventually, but I don’t believe that. I’ve been getting help for so […]
i want to die and i just don’t know how i can do it !!! i want it to work i don’t want to wake up at a hospital !! i’m done with life !!!!!!!
I’m more fearful of people than I am of death. I’m close to getting what I need to exit peacefully. It’s a shame that I have to hide my intentions or face being locked up. I just want the noise to stop, the mind to cease its chatter, to stop being a slave. To be free of my body, cruel people, and the infirmities of human kind. A peaceful place to rest is where I wish to be.
I want a painless way to die. I don’t want comments telling me to rethink and that everything will be fine. Just give me a few painless ways to die please.